When Tragedy Happens

A four years old boy beats his two years old brother to death over a bicycle (news). Their mother left them under the watch of a family friend to go to work at a nearby food stall. Their father works in KL and return home once a month. The family friend was called away when it happened. When tragedies like this happen, one would wonder why? Who's to blame? The busy parents trying to make a living? The parents who bought only 1 bicycle? The family friend who was called away? To do what? Gossip? The boy who don't have enough sense not to fight over something with his sibling?

Well, boys really don't have enough sense. I would know. I have younger brothers who fight like they're the worst enemies to each other when they' were young. Have you seen any wrestling programs? That's how they fought. I can see veins in their neck, teeth gritting, scratches on their hands and bodies and the youngest would be fighting and crying at the same time. When I thought things are getting out of hand I'd shout, "Hah tumbuk-tumbuk! Sepak terajang, biar sampai mati." That would slow them down for a while. Sometimes that didn't work too and I have to go in between to push or pull them apart whichever way works. It is tiring. I don't have my peace until my mom would take over after she has finished with the housework or when she comes back from the market.

I wasn't much older than them but when faced with the responsibility of taking care of my younger siblings, I don't have much choice but to be responsible. Except this boy is only four years old. Even I don't have to take care of my younger siblings when I was four. This has also reminded me of a story told by my mother. It happened a very long time ago. It was in the news at that time. A boy was left alone at home with his baby brother. He got irritated with the rats running around in the attic. He burnt the house down. Later, he was seen looking for something in the ashes with a stick. When asked, he said he's looking for his brother. He covered him with the food cover (maybe 'tudung saji') and wonders why he can't find him now. How can anyone blame him when he has not fully develop his mental capacity. He's older than four years but heck, when I was teaching Standard Five students last time, some of them still believe Ultraman exist.

Children should always be under the watchful eyes of adults. Nowadays there are too many anak kambing around. Yup! 'Anak kambing'! That's how my mom called them. The kids are not at fault actually. They're the kids whose parents didn't bother where they are, whom they're with, whether they have eaten, irregardless of the children's age. It is sad to see very young children walking around the housing area barefooted, without clothes, running around without care, rain or shine. They're from lower-middle class families who can afford to clothes their children properly. Sometimes the mother didn't work but they let the children play anywhere as long as not in the house, making mess and noise. Who should we blame when these kids grow up to be out of control and ill disciplined? Their parents are not fit to be parents themselves.

This is not the ill of lower-middle income families only. Rich families shower their children with money and whatever they want, except time and love. I wonder why they have children at all. And they expect the children to take care of them during old age just because they brought them in this world? I know it's not easy. I'm so tired after coming back from work and I don't have to bother about anything except myself, my dinner and my work the next day. When tragedy like this happens, hopefully people will stop to think about their life, their family and what matters most.

Silent Night

Tonight is a silent night. There’re no neighbors shouting at their kids or argue with their spouse, there are no children screaming and no loud music. Nothing! I can clearly hear the sound of crickets, the drops of light rain at the kitchen awning and the whirring of my laptop fan. The very faint sound of vehicles on the main road can also be heard from the distance. This did not happen very often. I almost felt like I should type in whisper :)

I would like to savor this moment. It almost felt magical. If I can open up my windows to a sky full of stars, it would be perfect. But instead, I can see darkness plus the lights from apartments and streetlights. So I closed the window and cocooned myself in my apartment, listening to the sound of silence. It’s very relaxing. There’s the occasional sound of footsteps and children laughing but it quickly become silent again. After posting this, I want to lie down and enjoy the moment.

Spring In My Heart

I was having a bad day. My boss can make me want to scream my head off sometimes. Our personality clashes was so apparent that trying to accept our differences could take so much effort. Sometimes I just don't have the energy anymore. Driving back was a huge relief. Whatever disagreement we had, it was over for that day. I was still quite uptight in the car until I heard this song.

My face suddenly lit up with a smile at the catchy upbeat melody. It makes me snap my fingers to the rhythm, drum at my steering wheel and wish I could twirl around and dance to the beat. My mood takes a 180-degree turn and I promise myself to look for this song if it can change my mood whenever it is required.

That was about 10 months ago, before I change to my current job. I'm cheap. I'm not going to buy a whole CD or cassette just because of one song. Finally, after exhausting all the effort that I can think of, I manage to get the song today. Don't ask me how and where :) Suffice to say I can now move to the beat whenever I feel like it. *huge grin* I can't share the song file because I don't have the disk space and the bandwidth to spare so I'm just going to share the lyrics below. Enjoy...

Artis : FAZLEY
Lagu : Carino (Ka-ri-ni-o)

Ku teringat
Peristiwa yang satu
Musim bunga yang lalu
Masih lagi terhidu kewangian
Saat bunga berkembang
Harumnya angin bayu
Sepintas kau berlalu

Takkan bisa
Kulupakan lirikan
Takkan bisa
Ku melupakan ikalmu
Takku pasti
Kapankah musim kembali
Takku pasti
Harummu kukecap lagi

Carino
Kisah musim bunga lalu
Carino
Misteri musim haruman
Carino
Masih terkenang indahmu
Khayalanku atau realiti
Carino
Hatiku masih mencari
Carino
Asmara yang ku impikan
Carino
Mungkinkah ia terjadi
Gadis sepanyol musim bunga hadir lagi

It's not often I give a mushy title to my blog entry. I'm making an allowance this time. Just like the lyrics in the song, my mood changed just like flowers blossoming in spring :D

Notting Hill Versi Melayu

I must have nothing better to do if I blog twice a day. I've just watched the Malay version of Notting Hill. It's titled Earl Grey & Kopi Kampung. I was switching channel all the time actually and wouldn't notice it if not for the translated dialogue...

ANNA: The fame thing isn't really real, you know. Don't forget -- I'm also just a girl. Standing in front of a boy. Asking him to love her. Pause. She kisses him on the cheek.

Deanna Yusof plays Rita the actress, and Eman Manan plays Buang who operates a rest house or some kind of B&B in Baling.

In the Malay version, Rita hugs the hesitant hero after making that speech. My jaw was hanging wide open when I realize this is Notting Hill (Malay version). Wish I had watched it in full than I can make more comments hehehe...

Singing Orphans

I was having dinner earlier when TV3 showed Acheh orphans singing a very sad song, with some of them trying very hard to control their tears or were already in tears. Even though I couldn't understand the lyrics, my cheeks were streaming with tears too while my mouth still full with food. Is that proper? I mean, orphans are already in a sad situation, and their guardians or caretaker should try to make them happy instead of making them sadder. Inject them with high spirit and motivation to continue with life and not wallowing in sadness over their plight.

I'm not being judgmental. This could be a one time event and at other times the children are well cared for emotionally and physically. Heck! Who am I to say anything. It's not like I am the one who cared for them. But it's good to remind me of those less fortunate. The Tsunami orphans and victims are almost forgotten by the majority by now. I'm one of them.

Links: Treating Orphans

Something Must Be Wrong

Something must be wrong with me. I hurt myself again. This time, I fell on my knees while trying to step over knee-high metal chain to go to the open car park area where I always park my car. One of my heels got caught with the metal chain and there I go plonked on my knee with a painful thud. I hold the fall with both my palms. The palms were not hurt but my left knee was quite badly scratched.

Just imagine, there I was in my deep maroon kebaya with matching high heels, fell like a rotten jackfruit to the ground. I turned back and saw a group of people walking towards my direction. They can definitely see me falling clearly. I kinda hope someone, anyone, would help me up but they were still a distance away. Instead of waiting for any one to offer some help, maybe nobody would, I gather my things, get up and walk to my car parked nearby.

Once inside, I hike up my kebaya sarong to reveal a bloody knee. Sigh! The scratch is the kind where once your knees are straight, bending it would be a torture and once the knees are bent, straightening it would make you suffer. Another sigh! I was tired and in a rush to get back since I heard there’s no jam during KLFM traffic report. I better go back quickly before the traffic becomes worse as I had been standing and walking the whole day during training today. Poor me. Luckily, my finger is healing fine. It’s not bleeding anymore and didn’t look very black.

Different Kinda Hurt

My finger still bleeds. I thought it has already stopped but I noticed dried bloods and fresh ones from my fingernail and ring finger just now. It must be due to all the pressures I put on it today. It didn't hurt that much. Probably that's why I didn't notice when it bleeds. My heart is hurting a lot more right now even though it's not bleeding. Sometimes I wonder, haven't I been hurt enough in the past?

Lil Pinky's Hurt

Yesterday, I accidentally slammed my little finger when I slammed the door of my brother's car. Ooouuuuccchhh..... It hurts so baaaddd.... Blood was dripping from my fingernail, I just can't describe how I felt at that time. I wrap my pinky finger with several layers of tissue paper until we reached home. My blood's coagulant agent seems to be working fine as the blood stopped by the time we reached home. This is how my little finger looks now. Darker today actually as the blood has dried inside the fingernails.



It was throbbing and I keep having flashes of memory when my finger was slammed against the door which makes me grit my teeth every time thinking of the pain during that moment. It also reminded me of the time when I almost cut the tip of my left index finger with a big paper cutter many many years back. The cutter went through about 75%. I can't imagine what would happen if it went through all the way. This time it's my left little finger. Actually, there have been many instances where I slammed or almost slammed my fingers when I closed car doors. I wonder how my fingers are positioned to make it possible. But it has never been this bad. I have to be careful not to knock it against anything. Typing has been quite difficult though. I'll accidentally used my pinky finger while typing or types wrongly when trying not to use the little finger.

Sigh! I have to finish typing three training materials by this week. Two by this weekend actually but that seems almost impossible now. I hope the 'minyak gamat' applied to the finger will work its magic and heal it fast.

Long Holiday

I have always loved looking at bright blue skies. Today we're blessed with one and I really feel thankful I can sit at my favorite Mamak restaurant, having nasi lemak for breakfast, sipping my cold lime juice and admiring the sky while the gentle wind provides relief from the morning heat. I'm still on leave and today is the last day. Sigh! Tomorrow I'll start work, the hectic schedule will resume and I have to find alternative route to avoid traffic congestion at MRR2. But I'll worry about that tomorrow.

I just got back from Johor yesterday. A week without internet access and one of the thing I felt relieved to have when I got back is my Streamyx connection. It's not a full holiday though coz I have to help my family moved. My brother is transferred there, so the earlier part of the holiday was spent packing and unpacking. I managed to do some jalan-jalan and photography session :) Wouldn't pass the chance to do some exploring. Below are some photos.


The sun is playing peek-a-boo when I visited Danga Bay. Look at the clouds.


I wish I can get nearer to the boats.


The boats from another angle.


Danga Cruise will be fully lit at night. Unfortunately, my camera can't capture the pretty sight.


This is a nice place to chill.


You can have this nice view during family picnic under the trees.


Desaru looks promising...


Reality check... dirty!


If only the beach is clean.


The beautiful sandy beach and blue skies... however, I prefer my secluded and CLEAN PD beach here and here.

Co*kstand

Warning: I have not blogged about something like this before but for this entry, I have to put up an 18SX warning.

Finding friends online nowadays is easy. Filtering them is another matter. You may want to find someone whom you can talk about your days and any decent things normal friends talk about. From the numerous emails you received, probably about 60%-70% of them will be from people wanting sex relationship online or offline. Normally they'll be very up front of what they want, making it easier for people who's not interested to delete the email and never have to think about them anymore.

In the remaining balance, you'll have to filter again for people who might have similar intellectual level or higher, hoping for an interesting communication. After carefully doing the filtering, hoping you have the best of the best, sometimes you'll still missed one or two because they did not show their true colors early. In my case, I missed one and it is not as easy to just delete everything and forget because in some way, you have become friends. Anyway, with different expectations from one another, I don't see how the newly formed friendship will last.

We have advanced from email friends to SMS friends since I will be away for a long holiday with no internet access. We normally argue in our emails when discussing some topics and I like the idea that we can have an all out argument about our opinions and still remain as friends. I didn't remember what my SMS was but he replied back saying I gave him a co*kstand. I'm sure what I said has got no sexual innuendos in any way. I asked him what's the meaning of the word and his description gave me the shock of my life. Yikes!! I don't want 'this' kind of friends OK! He thought I was playing coy and one explanation leads to another and the conversation continues and I have a hard time convincing him I'm serious about sex after marriage. I think he is still not convinced.

Anyway, it's not often I was asked to have sex so I told the story to one of my best friend. She's married and she didn't blink an eye when I mentioned the word co*kstand so probably I'm the naive one until I told the story to another blogger friend and we had a very very interesting conversation :) I felt relieved I'm not the only one who didn't know the meaning of the word but what goes through her mind makes me rotfl hahaha... So the blurness to the meaning of the word could be due to our single status. For privacy reason, I've changed her YM ID to ms. x. Forgot to ask if I can use her name.

Below is our YM conversation. Translating it will make it loose its true meaning. If you don't understand, too bad. And I intentionally leave out the meaning of the word and did not put any relevant link. You have to find out by yourself.

ms. x (6:09:28 PM): u apa cerita?
sunf10wers (6:09:53 PM): takder citer apa
sunf10wers (6:09:59 PM): ada org ajak buat sex ahahaha...
ms. x (6:10:07 PM): hahaha
sunf10wers (6:10:32 PM): dia tak percaya 32 yrs old virgin exist
ms. x (6:11:34 PM): hhehehhe
ms. x (6:11:36 PM): lawak
sunf10wers (6:12:13 PM): terkejut beruk i bila dia explain apa itu co*kstand
sunf10wers (6:12:24 PM): percaya tak i tak tau makna co*kstand
ms. x (6:12:34 PM): apa tu?
sunf10wers (6:12:37 PM): i ingat membangga diri mcm ayam jantan gitu =))
ms. x (6:12:42 PM): hahahahahahhaha
sunf10wers (6:12:45 PM): oh bagusnyerrr...
ms. x (6:12:45 PM): apa dia tu???
sunf10wers (6:12:50 PM): ada org tak tau jugak ahahahaha....
sunf10wers (6:13:05 PM): ------- explanation censored-------
ms. x (6:13:10 PM): ooooooo
ms. x (6:13:16 PM): i thot tempat letak cock
ms. x (6:13:22 PM): cam mic stand tu
sunf10wers (6:13:22 PM): ahahaha...
ms. x (6:13:23 PM): hahahaha
sunf10wers (6:13:33 PM): this will definitely go into blog ok
ms. x (6:14:02 PM): hahahaa
sunf10wers (6:14:48 PM): u mean tmpt letak ayam jantan ker?
sunf10wers (6:14:52 PM): cock ayam jantan kan
ms. x (6:14:55 PM): tak
sunf10wers (6:14:57 PM): or u ingat shuttlecock
ms. x (6:15:05 PM): i thot kot mmg ada tpt utk letak cock (dick)
sunf10wers (6:15:14 PM): ahahaha....
ms. x (6:15:16 PM): mana tau, kot malas nak pegang
ms. x (6:15:18 PM): hahahaa
sunf10wers (6:15:23 PM): adoooiiii...
sunf10wers (6:15:30 PM): tu lagi i tak leh nak imagine
ms. x (6:15:34 PM): hahahahaa
ms. x (6:15:37 PM): utk org cacat je
sunf10wers (6:15:45 PM): =))