Last Entry for the Year

I still have no phone line at home even after 6 months applying. Thus, frequently updating my blog is a problem. And no I'm not staying in an 'ulu' place. I'm too busy at the office to be doing 'extra' activities like blogging but I don't want to leave 2004 without saying something.



The year passes by so quickly. Just like the Telekom people, giving one excuse after another when I called them up asking about the phone line, 6 months has passed and I still have no phone line. TMNet complaints about the low Streamyx take-up rate when they have improved their service so much. But how can I subscribe to Streamyx without phone line??? Don't complaint about the public, complaint about your big brother. Similarly, if we keep giving excuses about doing something, to ourselves, to others, the time will passes by so quickly without us noticing it.



So, remember to always put ourselves, family and friends first, before everything else. The work will never end. I have a friend who works even on Sunday because of her workload. It is very nice of her to do that because she's handling payment to vendors. According to her, if she's late the vendors will not get their money on time. She is a very responsible person no doubt about that but she may have forgotten that she has one more responsibility i.e. to herself. The vendors will not die or close shop if their payment is late by 1 or 2 more days. Alternatively, insist the boss take one more staff to handle the job. I know it is easier said than done but we have only once to live our lives. If we leave it to chance and circumstances, we might regret it later.



I haven't thought about New Year resolution this year as I haven't got the time to sit down and reflect on how 2004 has affected my life. I'm guilty of the 'too busy' syndrome too. But my consolation, I've done most of the things I want to do. I hope I'll be as lucky in 2005.



Till next year, my greatest condolence to Tsunami victims all over the world. I prayed they'll be given a lot of patience and strength and may all the aid get to the right person and on time.

From Virtual Office to Real Office

I'm sitting in the new office listening to the loud rain. It feels so unusual. I'm still adapting from virtual office to real, physical office atmosphere. It has been 3 days now. And when it rains like this, how I wish I can just take a break and snuggle under my blanket. Sigh! The good old days are gone.

Ferringhi Sunset

Breathtaking sunset view in Ferringhi beach...


The photo is from my last holiday before fasting month begins. Even a short break in between busy work schedules can do wonders for you. Trust me on this. The beach is amazing, the sunset spectacular and the speed boat cruise becomes the highlight of the holiday.

Before heading home, we went to Penang Hill. We missed the train going up at 3.00 by few seconds so we have to wait for another at 3.30. On the way down, again we missed the train at 4.15 by few seconds so we have to wait for another at 4.45. We decided to go back with the ferry to entertain my friend's son but he fell asleep even before we reached the jetty. We have to wait for quite some time due to the peak hour traffic. The thought of heading to the bridge did cross my mind but getting out from the queue is quite impossible.

We finally reached Juru about 7.15 and reached Gopeng at about 9.15. Thinking back, if all my plan went as scheduled, we could be one and a half hour early which would put us at Gopeng / Gua Tempurung area around 7.30, when the land slide happened. Really the HIGHER POWER at work there. Thank you God for protecting us.

One Year Young

Happy Birthday to you...

Happy Birthday to you...

Happy Birthday to SuNfLoWeR.cOm

Happy Birthday to you...



You're just one year young.

Click here for my very first entry.

I've Just Cut My Hair

I've just cut my hair. For several years now, snipping off my tresses is never an action to achieve a desired fashion. It's always done to mark something... an event, a reminder, a promise, a determination... to myself, for myself. This time, it's a combination of few things that makes me feel like cutting my hair. The hair will grow in time. And just like human, as time passes us by, sometimes we forget things. Things that used to have meanings to us, things that used to be important to us, things that makes us sad and things that makes us happy.



For now, I hope I'll always remember how I felt when I was at one of the lowest point in my life, how I've struggled to keep my sanity and how some of the nicest people I've ever met helped me go through that tough time. Some of whom only passes by to help me back on my feet and disappears when I can run again. Just like in the movies where someone goes from town to town helping people in need but they can't stay for long. They may have a hidden identity, they may be a mistaken fugitive… whoever they are, they can only stay for a while.



I miss you pumpkin pie monster and wish I can confide in you now. My past has not leave me alone. A note to myself: "We learned from our past mistakes and let's not hope we have to learn the same mistakes over and over again."

My Sunset

I used to have this sunset view...







Now I have this sunset view...

Catching Up

Offline...



I thought I'll be having problem living without any internet connection. It turned out, I can cope with it. There are always other interesting things to do. It has been about a month I've not been blogging now. Not that I don't have anything to write about. There are so many things to share. But the knowledge that I can't easily get internet connection puts a damper to it. I'm only able to download all my emails whenever I've to go to the office and that is not very often. I read them, reply offline, and am only able to send them all whenever I've to go to office again. I still catch up with some of my favorite blogs. Open them all, wait for them to download properly, MYIE2 makes it easier, and read them offline too. I never thought I'll face the situation where internet connection becomes a luxury. But I did and survived.



No, I did not suddenly go to 'ulu' places somewhere. I've moved, nearer to civilization, and it'll take some time before I get a phone line here. Telekom used to give wireless line to this area but not anymore. I've to wait for the cables and they say it'll take a month but who believes in what Telekom says! Till then, I've to survive living offline.



Change...



Do you know where you'll be tomorrow? After the changes taking place in my life recently, I dare not say for sure where I'll be tomorrow. Things can happen and they can happen so fast you wouldn't know what hit you.



Just imagine a guy has a nagging wife and she always challenges him to marry another whenever they have an argument. It happened so often but the guy being the responsible husband and father just shrugged it off. He married her, he loves her, she's the mother of his children and he wants to keep the marriage. So he'll do whatever it takes to keep his family together. There are more important things in life then letting little things get in the way.



But one day it happened again. The argument. And suddenly the guy feels like he can't take it anymore. And as luck or maybe its fate has it, he found a nice girl the next day and get married three days after that. It happened so fast that when the wedding ceremony is over, after the euphoria is over, the guy feels so stunned, may be more than what his wife felt. His first wife that is. That is a long winded example of how things have happened to me but, you get the idea larrr...



Life's Goal...



I've moved to a new apartment. It's rented by the way. I've always wanted to have my own apartment, one of my life's goal (refer here). It's a little late for me to have a goal of having my own apartment by 30 so I've moved it till I'm 35. As fate has it, I've to move now so I might as well find a comfortable apartment and only few weeks before my age reached the number 3 and 0. Isn't it funny that I kinda get what I've wished for though not in a complete parcel. It's a big 3 room 2 bath apartment, at least too big for someone living alone, and no balcony though I do get very nice sunset view from my living room window. I can see the moon too.



Family...



I'm thankful I can always turn to family members for help (at least, some of my family members!). That is a very special gift from God for anyone. You don't have to bother keeping in touch sometimes. They'll be busy with their own life. But if you say you're in trouble, they'll always be there for you and they'll do whatever they can to help. It is a very special bond that we sometimes forget and it's priceless.



Friends...



There will be some of our friends who are real friends and some who are fair-weather friends. We will only know who is which when we have problems. We will know who comes through for us and who is busy so suddenly. I don't really expect anything from my friends. There has never been any occasion where I've to proof whether I'm a real friend or a fair-weather friend to them before. So I'm not exactly disappointed when some decided there are other important things for them to do on that particular day, but now I know where they stand. And I'm so grateful for this experience because now I know who came through and who I can turn to when I'm in need. They can always count on me when they need me too.



There are also some friends who judged easily. They have a pre-programmed idea of how things should be. Whenever they heard of something not in sync with their ideals, it must be wrong. No questions asked. The 'advice' on how I SHOULD handle things pouring in. No thank you lah. You think I've not given a thought to it??!! You don't even know the whole story to be giving me 'advice'. Just shows how difficult it is to find someone who listens. So quick for them to dish out their opinion to you.



Birthday Month...



I've wanted my birthday month to be special. I wanted to write things in my blog every day when I'm counting down to the number 30. I don't like shopping and never bother about when there'll be a 'Sale' at such and such department stores. But I thought maybe as I'm reaching 30, I should do something special for myself. Maybe pamper myself at a spa, get a new jeans since I've been putting on weight lately and I have only one jeans left that fits me comfortably, buy myself 1-2 Revlon lipstick since I've discover I love their lipstick from my impulse purchase last time, I wanted a smaller purse that can still fit all my cards (I think my purse is too bulky now), I also wanted a new handbag since it is high time I get a new one, and buy all the reading materials that I've been eyeing for quite some time.



But life has another arrangement for me. Blogging have to wait since I've no internet connection. All the purchases for the birthday girl have to be postponed since I have to furnish my apartment now.



Things You Noticed... Or don't...



Have you ever noticed that you buy something because you rarely see anybody using or wearing them (or that particular color) but the moment you bought it, you'll see people using or wearing the same thing you've bought almost everywhere. That is because of our realization/awareness level before and after we made the purchase. Before I've to move to this apartment and have to furnish it, I do not bother about furniture, carpeting and things like that. I went to my friend's house many times without really noticing her carpet, the material and the color. When I went there again after I've moved, I thought she has a new carpet and I noticed it because I was thinking of getting a carpet just like that for my apartment.



Furniture Hunting...



I loose count of the number of times I visited IKEA, Ikano, and all the furniture shops I can find around my area. My apartment is still sparsely furnished. I have all the basics covered and can now go furniture hunting at my leisure. This becomes like a new obsession to me. I have to visit every furniture shop I find hehe... I don't have to buy any of the furniture though. I will wait until I find things I really like. So until I find everything I want, I'll stop at every furniture shop :)



Life Overall...



I have two words... fine and fun. I have no problem adapting to the new place. The first week is a bit hectic trying to settle down, shopping and things like that. Now I can breathe easier and is starting to get into routine. All in all, this change turned out great and will be great. It depends on whether we want to make lemonade or pickles from our lemon.

Intermission

Winds of change can swept us anytime, sometimes when we least expect it. Before we know it, we either have to adapt to the changes to survive or perish with time. I've been at crossroads. Now that I've chosen a path, the anticipation is exhilarating. I can only describe my feeling as free as the birds flying in the sky, as free as the fishes swimming in the vast ocean and as free as the horses galloping in the wild. I have to admit there is a bit of apprehension but who doesn't when confronted with change. But the pros outweigh the cons and the feeling of knowing you're in charge is invaluable. I'll be back to fill the pages of this blog with more thoughts once everything is sorted out. Till then, have a good life everyone.

Main Burung Hantu Part 2

...continued...



While watching the floating ghost coming towards me, I saw a tiny reddish light very near to that 'thing', it's like they're together. I was wondering if the red thing is one of its eyes, how come it's so low. Or is it something else completely, another species of the out-of-this-world element traveling together. Don't know ghost also needs friend to jalan-jalan. After 2-3 seconds then it dawn on me that reddish thing is a burning cigarette hahaha... The organizers must have tried to play trick on us. I waited for them to pass me and saw they tied a large white cloth (probably white bed sheet) on a stick and carry it around. Sheeshhh... these people. What if someone had a heart attack? Will they take the responsibility!



After what seemed like ages, the organizers come again to 'collect' us from our spot. Then we gather around the camp and were given a lecture. This exercise is a test of our spirit, mostly against ourselves rather than out-of-this-world elements blablabla... They are quite annoyed that some of us have moved from their spot to look for other friends, and then sleep in a group. I thought that was funny hehehe... Good for them to be able to catch some sleep. The punishment for them who broke the rules was to go take a dip in the freezing river at 3-4 a.m. Thank God I've been such a good girl.



No way am I going into the dark river, in an equally dark night. I think I feared creepy crawly things more than ghosts. I still remember when I went to a camping trip during primary school, the teachers panicked and shouted for all of us to get out of the water because a snake was slithering on the river going downstream. I was the last to get out because I was trying to get my rubber slipper. Actually one of the teachers pulled me out from the river while I was still trying to grab one of my rubber slippers. Duh! What was I thinking back then? That image of the slithering snake kinda stayed with me till now.



After the river dip, we were dismissed and managed to quickly exchange stories before we zonked out. A friend told us of her weird experience. She admits being faint hearted so she sat down and keeps her eyes shut. She didn't dare look around and all the while reciting Quranic verses silently. Whenever she opened her eyes (take a peek more likely), she saw something sitting in front of her. Just sit there and look at her. She didn't scream, she didn't do anything, just shut her eyes again and recited more Quranic verses. It is really beyond me how she can stay like that the whole game. Lucky she didn't pee in her pants hahaha...



The girls who have gathered together and slept told us the organizers have worn 'telekung' and going around trying to scare them. One of them walked with stick, touch the girls back with the stick and said, "cucu-cucu, nenek nak tumpang lalu". My friends take a peek at them and tried so hard not to laugh out loud. So that was what I saw before I saw the floating white cloth. Guys in telekung trying to scare the girls out. Obviously it didn't work out since none of us screamed in fear or had a heart attack with their antics.



That is quite an experience. The next day, we discovered we were actually left on the main road towards our camping area, quite far apart from each other. There's nothing spooky about the place at all. In the darkness of the night, the place really looks intimidating. Where I guess as the spot I was left during the game, there's a small tree (not the one I can lean on), some bushes behind me, and a slope before the river. No wonder when I light up the lighter, I can see some tall grass, the leaves of the bushes behind me and then darkness. It's just an empty space. But it's still quite scary if I fall down that slope during the game. Lucky I didn't move that much.



...the end...



Notes: I know Pertak is on the way from KKB to Fraser's Hill but with the Sg. Selangor Dam and the new road, I have no idea whether the place still exist. Anyone knows? I love the waterfall there.



Also see: Main Burung Hantu Part 1

MyKad Issue...

I still haven't changed my IC to MyKad yet. The reason, I was annoyed hearing about forged MyKad after the rosy pictures of how this new MyKad is better and more secure highlighted by the media... obviously parroting what the politicians said. The MyKad is so 'canggih' we can put any information in it. We don't have to carry many cards around; driver's license, ATM, Touch n Go, everything can go into the card. TV Smith has come up with a funny write-up about MyKad here.



Thinking about it, what an irony. The media painted a rosy picture of MyKad qualities and then the media itself highlighted about forged MyKad and other problems like getting summoned for driving without a license just because the policeman can't read the driving license information in MyKad. In another instance, an acquaintance told me of his problem getting a driver's license in Australia because obviously they can't read our MyKad. Lucky he still have his old driving license with him though he has to go dig for it somewhere before returning to get his license. Anyway, I've deviate.



Recently, it is again highlighted about MyKad in the media about senior citizens having to don black scarves because their white hair is not visible against the mandatory white background (read about it here). Duh! If MyKad is so 'canggih', small little thing like that also cannot adjust ah??!! The reason given, the background color has already been set in the computer. Are we the computer masters or the computer our master? So if the computer gives a "You've performed an illegal operation" message, do you go arrest yourself?



Now, the Home Ministry has directed NRD to use blue background for people with white hair or bald cases. Why do we always have to wait until a direction is given by the minister before any action is taken? Why can't we become people who is creative, innovative and think out of the box? Next time if the minister have to give direction for government department to make life easier for rakyat, why don't we deduct the salary of the 'powers that be' in that department? That should serve them a lesson. Wasting people’s money to go to this course, that course and yet still don't know how to make educated decisions.



And then because MyKad is so 'canggih', we have to go upgrade our MyKad every now and then to keep up with the technology (read about MyKad chip upgrade to 64K here).



So now people unsatisfied with their white hair against white background can go changed their MyKad to have blue background for their photo, other people also have to go upgrade their MyKad to 64K chip for more security. It seems we Malaysians have nothing better to do than go hang around the NRD.

Main Burung Hantu Part 1

I was introduced to this game as "burung hantu" game. Maybe most people will be more familiar with "solo night camping" term. If you have gone to any motivational camping, probably you've played the game too. The game has to be played after dark. Every one will be left alone in one spot in the jungle, quite far apart from each other. You can then choose to sleep, sit or stand as long as you stayed in your spot. The organizers will make their rounds checking on us periodically.



I played this game quite some time ago during a camping trip to Pertak. Before we started the game, they gave us a special instruction. Whenever we see the organizers making their rounds, we have to shout 'hantu' and they will reply 'pocong'. Some cheekily mentioned, if we receive different replies, that's definitely not them and we better pray hard. Duh! Of all the words in the world, why would they want to choose those two words! Not that I easily get spooked with out-of-this-world thingy that is.



We're not supposed to bring anything during this game but I managed to bring a lighter with me, just in case. After the organizers left, I used the lighter to check my surrounding; making sure it is safe to sit. You'll never know what creepy crawly things will come out at night like that. Left with nothing to do, I squat and wait. Cannot tahan squatting after some time, I sit cross-legged. It is getting late and my eyes are getting heavy, but I sit there blinking and looked into the darkness. I thought I saw some white thing some distance away. But not trusting my heavy and sleepy eyes, I decided to ignore it.



I did not lean on any tree. If I do, I might be able to catch a wink but decided against it thinking of any nocturnal creatures that might creep around the tree trunk. Then I stood up, switching my weight from left to right, and right to the left foot again. After some time I saw a white floating thing from afar. I blinked hard making sure it's not my eyes playing tricks on me. I really saw it! I watched the white thing coming nearer and nearer. I can feel my blood drained from my feet. Is this the first time I'll be seeing ghost in my life? I can't move, rooted to the spot.



...to be continued...

From My Inbox: Mother and Baby Camel

This is a really, really nice story. It is a good question to be asking ourselves.

A mother and a baby camel were lazing around, and suddenly the baby camel asked .....



Baby: Mother, mother, may I ask you some questions?

Mother: Sure! Why son, is there something bothering you?



Baby: Why do camels have humps?

Mother: Well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water.



Baby: Okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded?

Mother: Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert,You know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone does! Said the mother proudly.



Baby: Okay, then why are our eyelashes long? Sometimes it bothers my sight.

Mother: My son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind. Said mother camel with eyes rimming with pride....



Baby: I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protects my eyes from the desert...... Then what the hell are we doing here in the ZOO !!!!!!???



Moral of the story: Skills, knowledges, abilities and experiences are only useful if you are at the right place" Where are you now????????

Jangan Anggar Kurang Aku

This has happened several times and finally I remembered to jot the words down before I forget about it. It happened in a serious program like Ringgit Sense, a TV3 program and a not so serious program like Boomtown shown on Channel 9 tonight. I'm talking about one line of Boomtown's Malay subtitle. "Jangan anggar kurang aku" is what has been translated for "Don't underestimate me". Unfortunately, I've forgotten the translation error in the Ringgit Sense program and at least one other program I've watched. It has always been at the back of my mind to comment on these wrong subtitle issues as it has happened often enough and I finally got my chance tonight.



TV used to be one of the sources for me to learn and improve my English ever since I can remember. Seems like it can't play that role anymore.

Are You Millionaire Material?

Do you work for money so you can enjoy life or work for money and more money to put in your coffer? Is money a means to an end for you or is it an end by itself? Some people said money is evil but I think everyone realized it's the people who can be evil.



Take this test to see whether you're a millionaire material, or not. While I never thought about buying an SUV or joining tennis club, but yes, I do enjoy fun more than money. But then, you can't have fun without money. Depending on what's fun to you that is. So I work to have enough for the kind of fun I have in mind. Some extra never hurt though.

Not Millionaire Material

Millionaire Material

Ever thought about buying an SUV and joining a tennis club? You should, because you were made for the elite. We can tell that you enjoy many of the finer things in life, but for some reason you just can't make the leap to "millionaire material." Sure, that's a step down from the top of the money pile, but it's probably all for the best. Why? Perhaps because, when it comes down to it, you enjoy fun more than money. Cash is all well and good, and we can tell that you're pretty good at saving your dough when you put your mind to it, but you'd rather spend time outdoors, hang out with friends, or plan your next big trip than drool over your bank balance. After all, what's money for if you can't enjoy it?

Building Walls

I help a friend scan his China trip photos quite some time back. I hope he didn't mind I use this one in my blog.

There is no point crying inside hoping people will try to understand us or understand why we became what we are. Most people will just punish or judge because we do not conform to certain standards or expectation.



It hurts but not that much. There’s already a thick protective wall around, preventing the hurt to get too deep. The defense mechanism is not to defend oneself. Let people say or think what they want. It’s not that important anyway. And all the while, it makes one feels better to retreat deeper and deeper into the protective shell. The cocoons that will make you feel safe. As safe as you can hope to be emotionally.



Because when you reach out, you don't think anyone will reach for you. You can only hold on to the cold railing of the banisters, gripping it as hard as you can. When you look up, no pair of eyes will be looking back into yours. Just the vast space of emptiness. When you need to lean on something, you can only find a bark of tree or walls. No shoulders to lean on.



The mask you put on makes you appear strong and untouchable. You are strong and untouchable. But just because you treat life like a movie and you're not in it. And shields will be added to the wall, making it thicker as one move on in their life.

Plucking Flower Petals...

He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not.....



or maybe it goes like this...



Happy. Unhappy. Happy. Unhappy. Happy. Unhappy. Happy. Unhappy....

My Thoughts on Current Issues

Foreign Media...



Why is it when foreign media gives good reporting on us, it'll get reported many times over in the local media and every party will get so 'kembang' in every imaginable places but when it's bad reporting:-

1. we can't trust foreign media!
2. foreign media is biased!
3. foreign media is out to get us!
4. we must ban foreign media!

University Intake...



How can apple and orange be the same? You can look at it in any way and it is still not the same. The only common factor, both is fruit.

Top Scorers...



Why so many top scorers? Are the students really good? Are the exams just too easy? Are the examiners grading the paper too lax? Are these top scorers able to think or just churned out what they've been fed?



The general perception, crème de la crème is just that... crème de la crème. The best of the best. An elite group. If everyone is best, then there is no crème de la crème anymore isn't it. Some motivational group did question why can't everyone be number one, why can't everyone be the winner? Can everyone?

Medicine...



Why medicine? Aren't these top brains interested in nuclear science, biotechnology, etc.? Didn't they watch National Geographic and see there are so many things they can do under the sun? Do they know where to ask for guidance in making career options? Is there a place to ask for guidance in making career options? Do the people who give career guidance know what they're talking about?



Sigh! So many questions, no answers. I wish I have the foresight when deciding my life path last time.

Clan Fighting, Killing...



Why can't people unite? Why isn’t there human compassion? I would think in a foreign land, people from the same country would look out after each other, not kill each other.



I think basic human instinct makes people becomes protective of themselves, their family, their extended family, their clan, their race, their country, and then the people in general (in that order, maybe they can be variations in the grouping). Probably, if everyone sees things in reverse order, things would be different. Prioritize human/people first, then go down to self.

Miserable

Mission: Get back into working mode after a week holiday.

Results: Failed miserably

Culprits: Allergy attack; been sneezing whole morning and after taking my allergy pill, the sneezing is not as bad now but having blocked nose. Totally blocked!! Can only breathe through mouth. Just had lunch and what an accomplishment it was alternating between chewing and swallowing food with breathing.



Where I wish to be now:





The hut by the beach.

It's Work Week Again

Its work again after a week long leaves (my very own poor substitute of school/summer holiday). A big question to me is, "why is it I did not feel like writing anything in my blog when I was on leave but the moment work week begins, there are suddenly so many things to write?". Yes I do have things to do last week, so is the time when I have to work isn't it and yet I'll steal 20-30 minutes to write/read blogs every now and then. Probably this is related to what Aiz has pointed out here, "Think of a blog as your own private therapist. Without the fancy fees.", which actually originates from here.



What is our responsibility related to work when we're in a holiday? I do get calls/emails from clients when I was on leave. My first reaction is to put things on hold until I start work again, unless it's something simple I can answer or do and email back. I'm sure my boss expected more than that. Probably, every boss expected us to put work first no matter what. I, on the other hand, don't think the world will stop moving if we postpone things for a few days. Yes, that's me, the procrastinator speaking. Just because I want to stop and smell the roses every so often doesn't make me a bad employee. At least, I don't think so.



Someone once said I'm not ambitious enough. Career wise that is. I think these are the people who want other people to have their own standard of happiness. There is nothing wrong with me being happy and contented with what I have. They probably did not realize that. But I do and that makes me feel richer knowing I'm happy at where I am now, and they are still striving to get what they think is happiness for them.



Anyway, I don't think my points tied up nicely together in this entry. Must have been due to having so many things to say but not the time. So I better hold on to everything else that I wanted to write and get into working mode again.

A Wet Desert

A Wet Desert

Mid Year Break

During study time, we'll have term or semester breaks. Students will either be loaded with homework, assignment, course work or have nothing to do that they'll drive parents crazy trying to find useful activities for them. Working time, we'll await public holidays for a break and most will take a long break during Hari Raya, Chinese New Year, etc., where everyone else is also on leave and the road will be jammed, the shops will either be closed or full with people, the places of tourist attraction will be swarmed with people, and they'll be demands from relatives to visit or things like that.



I rarely take leave without any occasion. But this week I'm on leave for the whole week. We don't have summer holidays. This is my mid year break, a poor equivalent to summer holidays but it still feels great to wake up knowing I don't have to do anything. I can wake up late, I can sit and enjoy the garden at my house, I can go shopping if I want to and the traffic will be normal. I can laze around the house doing things or nothing without worrying about anything. Yes, there is always work and work can never be far from my mind especially with few projects looming but this week, I'm going to push all that to the back of my mind. This week, it'll be relaxing week.

The Bad Got Transferred

I'm wondering about this practise of transferring people with a case to another place. A dubious cop gets transferred to another station. A dubious teacher/headmaster/headmistress gets transferred to another school. An equally dubious government servant got transferred to another department. Why do we accept this practise?



1) They've made a mess here, let them make a mess somewhere else.

2) They've made a mess here, they can't make a mess somewhere else because they're not familiar with the ground.



Probably the rationale is in 2) but why the organization receiving this bad apple did not question it. Why do they deserve a cop or teacher/headmaster/headmistress, employee of a questionable character? Why do they have to live with such character among their untainted midst? Or probably it's an honor to be receiving this bad apple so they can prove to be able to turn him/her over.



This is really a big mystery to me.



The way I see it, these bad apples will take it out on innocent victims like the student and the public. They're angry they get caught. They're angry they got transferred. They're angry they can't do what they've done before. But on a positive note, probably some of these bad apples got a jolt they've been found out and will be afraid to do it again.



Unless it's something like this case where a superior uses his/her position to transfer someone for personal reason. Then all I can say, it's her lose and someone else's gain.

Tolerance Level – Low! Very Very Low!

What do you do if your tolerance level to someone is extremely low?



a) Try to have minimal contact with them.

b) Tell them what you think.

c) Be nice in front of them but bi*ch about them behind their back.

d) Punish yourself for not being a positive and nice person.

e) ...Put your own action here...



My answer is a).



Sometimes someone can irritate me without having to put much effort. Their incessant comments on how the world screwed up just because the world don’t take advice from him, Mr. Know-All; ceaseless stories of their past glories; expecting people to suit their rules; and to top it all, unhygienic bad habit in public places. Aiiyyaaahhh… so old already also don’t know doing that in public is totally unacceptable. Did you see anyone else doing it?



I’m sure none of you can imagine what bad habit I’m talking about. This is really a very rare bad habit. I can assure you, you’re such a lucky person not to know him.



Being in the same room with the person is enough to put me on high blood pressure. I was forced to be in the company of the person in question yesterday. Really cannot tahan… *grit teeth*. I would have to be in the company of the person again the day after tomorrow if I’ve not find a way not to. Lucky for me, I found the perfect excuse. *sigh a big relief*



I don’t care if people want to say I’m not a positive and nice person for not having a higher tolerance level to the said person. I’m only human after all. I realized I’m the one with problem because I can’t accept someone the way he is. But I’ve known people who got really impatient and showed their displeasure to him only after a short while. I believe he has no idea why people are being so hostile and must have think those person have some attitude problem. So to compare my reaction with reactions from other people, I think I fared better.



Since I know my emotion can’t handle him, his talks, his bad habit, I better avoid him as much as I can. We can’t expect people to change for us. And there are some things we really can’t take.



Solution: Avoid each other.

End of the Road

"At times you may feel it's the end of the world. Just remember that what the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."

--Martha Beck, author and life coach--

Tourist Center or Souvenir Shop?

On my first trip to Morib last Sunday, found the so called Tourist Center located strategically near the beach. What does a tourist center do? I assume they must have capable staff to entertain queries about tourism in Selangor if not the whole Malaysia. They must also have some brochures to be given away or sell if giving it out for free is deemed too expensive for the government.

I went in hoping to get more information on places I can go for my photography outing. When asked for brochures, the two ladies make constipated faces while pointing to a corner with their mouth and then saying, "errr... takder lah!" What I saw was so disappointing. The place shouldn't be named Tourist Center!. Just name it a souvenir shop lah. They have lots of souvenirs. I didn't even take a good look on what kind of souvenirs they're selling. So disturbed I was that a Tourist Center don't have anything helpful to tourist.

Windows of KKB

Can anyone translate what's written on the windows?


A very old building.

Considering the oldest building in Fraser's Hill was built on 1919, this is definitely not the oldest building here.

Kalau pergi Kuala Kubu,
Tulis nama atas batu,
Saban hari ku menanti waktu,
Pulanglah segera kepadaku...

The place was made famous in the song sang by Allahyarham Sudirman Hj. Arshad. Anyone remember the song title? I'm not sure if I got the lyrics right but it sounds something like that. Kuala Kubu Baru is a beautiful town, with many old government and shop buildings, beautiful scenery, very clean and well-kept. I've gone to KKB several times for official matter but have never taken the time to explore the town until last Saturday. Many of the old shops are still standing and looking very strong. You can cover the whole town in less than half day on foot actually. Walking here is very relaxing, crossing the street is a breeze, and many of the cars are driven at 40-50 kmph. For those who have walked in Rawang and tried crossing the street, you can really feel the huge difference. Enjoy some of my amateur photos of KKB town.

There's no traffic light in the town center. No need for one.	On a clear day, the background of this town must be very picturesque.	An old shop building.
The beautiful winding road.	Many big shady trees.	The modern looking post office.

Updated 21/06/2005: The song is titled Joget Kenangan Manis

I Steal This

Today is a tiring but fulfilling day, cruising along the west coast along the beach, from Bagan Lalang to unplanned Batu Laut stop, to Morib and Tanjung Harapan in Port Klang.







Among my treasured photo is this, a friendly baby when we’re having our brunch in Bagan Lalang. He turned to look at us almost all the time when the parents were eating and making cute faces and smiling back when we make not so cute faces to him. Unfortunately I didn’t dare take many photos lest the parents will scowl or scold us. Couldn’t get the picture of him smiling but this is cute too. Look at his chubby cheek. Pinch! Pinch! Pinch!



Note: I’ll put up other photos later. Maybe 2-3 days later (if not more) since the coming weekdays will be a hectic one. Sigh!

Rebirth - A New Friend

Yesterday, 22nd May 2004 (3rd Rabiul Akhir), is a special occasion to many of us. A beloved friend has decided to become a Muslim. May Allah bless her. She has always been a nice person. We're taking the same course in the university and since there are not that many of us from the same batch taking the course (due to university quota, not for lack of the course popularity), we're quite close to each other. Often, she'll ask whether we have prayed. She doesn't want to be keeping us from performing our obligation when chit chatting or having discussion with her.



About 4 p.m. at ABIM Ampang, she said her syahadah after listening to some explanation and advice from the Ustaz. The Ustaz is a funny man. He joked about my friend bringing the whole 'kampong' to the ceremony. Maybe it's not often so many people attended the ceremony for a single person in the past. There are some of her university friends, her friends during her course in INTAN, and her colleagues in the attendance. The ceremony then gets very emotional when about 30 friends from the many groups in her life, were requested to say something by the Ustaz, to welcome, motivate and encourage her.



I'm glad she's keeping her Chinese name and don't even have to add Abdullah. I've always been against changing name when one becomes a Muslim. There are millions of Muslims all over the world with Chinese, African, Filipino, American names. Why does Malaysian have to change their name to Arabic or Malay sounding name when they convert. It confuses the non-Muslims into thinking that changing names is a requirement to become a Muslim. It's not. Even during the Prophet time, he only suggested the change when people have names with a bad meaning.

Emi,



Lots of hugs to you. You'll always have my support, any kind at any time. You've had the strength and courage to convert, may you have the strength and courage to face the future. It may get a bit bumpy sometimes, but that's life and all your friends are behind you. Sometimes, those who are born Muslim like me, take our faith for granted. While for some, it takes a lot of soul searching and guidance from Allah to see the light. It's quite an experience for me to witness this special moment in your life. Thank you for inviting me and welcome back to Islam.

Flying With Chicken Wings

Mom can be funny sometimes. We always buy a whole chicken at the market. Chicken wing is one of my favorite chicken parts. Since no one at home seems to like it, I can have all the chicken wings available in every chicken meal prepared. But recently mom said if only she can do something with the chicken wings. It’s not good for me. I never seem to stay at home on weekend, probably due to too many chicken wings she said. Hahaha... in other words, "bontot tak lekat kat rumah". Well what do you expect? I've spend most of my weekdays at home (refer here), I need to get out and rejuvenate.

From My Inbox: 10 Ways To Marry The Wrong Person

With the divorce rate over 50%, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding whom to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize 10 insights.



1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake! NEVER MARRY POTENTIAL!! The Golden Rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after their married...for the worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.



2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Here are four characteristics to definitely check for:



Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort?

Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give to charity?

Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?

Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable?



Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?



3. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goal and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person:



a) Chemistry and compatibility

b) share common interests

c) share common life goal.



Make sure you share a deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're living for while you are single-and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a soul mate. A soul mate is a goal mate....two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.



4. You pick the wrong person because you do not have deeper emotional connection. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask:



Do I respect and admire this person?



This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. Yes, you should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc but do you actually respect and admire this person who possesses these qualities? Also ask:



"Do I trust this person?" This also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?



5. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions:



Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way?



You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There is a big difference between "controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.



6. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment:



Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you?



Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can't be vulnerable, you can't be intimate. The two go hand in hand.



7. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better and your future spouse will thank you.



8. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly. This can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud one's mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to "test drive" in order to find out if a couple are sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don't have to worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.



9. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't get it. The unique need of a woman is to be loved. -To feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Men are goal oriented especially when it comes to this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he Will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things will happen.



10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle. To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is a classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in a triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You'll not be their number one priority. And that's not basis for a marriage.



Ability is what you're capable of doing.............

Motivation determines what you do...................

Attitude determines how well you do it!

The Art of Forwarding Email

For those who used Outlook Express or anything similar as your main email program, have you ever had to open emails after emails like this to get to the main content of the forwarded email sent by your friends and colleagues? I'm not sure how it is if you're using web mail, but I just want to comment what a painful experience that can be. The only reason I'm taking the trouble to open emails after emails is because it's forwarded by a friend, with the assumption it must be something interesting that your friend think you must see it too. If the sender is not anyone close to me, I'd just delete the email after opening 2-3 layers of the same email. I am not going to let my self sit through the process of opening layers upon layers of email from a stranger, while gritting my teeth wondering when I will reach the main email content. Every time I click 'Open', I'll be praying and hoping that this will be the last one, and my shoulders will dropped in disappointment when there's more email to open.



All it takes is for the sender to do one or two steps before clicking the 'Forward' button. If the email is displayed as inline text, take the trouble to delete the top portion and the bottom portion of the email that has got nothing to do whatsoever to the content of the email you want to forward. If the emails are sent as attachments where you have to open layers upon layers of email before getting to the main content, click 'Forward' at the main email content instead of from the e-mail’s main page that you receive. Otherwise, you'll add another layer when your friend opens up the email. This will then propagate until one people either just delete the email without reading it or take the trouble to 'clean' up the email before forwarding it to his/her friends. If you have so many >>>> signs in the email you received, try cleaning it up with Email Stripper, a small but useful program that can clean all those >>>> signs for you with a click of a button.



Please try the above steps. You want your friends to enjoy the email you forward to them. Not grit their teeth while trying to get to the content of the email you think they should see. This will also reduce the size of the email. You will not clog your friend's mailbox, and also fewer loads on the internet traffic.

Five Weeks Teacher

I was once a teacher for five weeks during one of my university's long semester break. I had to take over a standard five class because their teacher was on maternity leave. That school happened to be my primary school and also my mother's, a small sub-urban school where each standard only has one class then. But during my stint as the replacement teacher, the school's much bigger with a new three storey block. I was the first student to score 5A's in Penilaian Examination in the school history. So can anyone imagine the welcome I get on my first day as a teacher?



The headmistress at that time was transferred to the school after I've left the school. She knew me by reputation and also because my younger brothers were also schooling there. On my first day, she introduces me during assembly, singing praises until I don't know where I can hide my face. The first to get 5As, the first to go to a boarding school and now studying in a reputable local university, everyone must follow her example, blablabla... Aiyyooo... so 'segan' lah.



Some of the teachers who taught me years ago also have to call me teacher. It feels funny in the beginning. The first time I teach in class with about 40 rowdy students, they told me I speak too softly. But after several days practising my vocal chords at high decibel, I can compete with the teacher teaching next door and the pupils voices with no problem. Can you imagine when you're trying to teach and the class next door is having a read aloud session. The teacher reads a line and the pupils follow all at once.



Besides being the class teacher for standard five, I also have to teach other classes. I still remember a standard one pupil where I teach Art has a case of hero worship towards me. She always offers to carry my books to the teacher's room or to my other classes. Though I really appreciate her gesture, I don't have the heart to let such a little girl to carry that much weight. She looks so dejected when I decline that I have to let her carry something.



I was also lucky because my 5 weeks as a replacement teacher includes teacher's day so I received many handmade teacher's day cards, flowers and notes from my pupils. I still keep some of them in a shoe box somewhere. And one very proud moment was when I became one of the teachers accompanying the pupils to a choir competition and our school got first place. There's no description of how proud I felt when asking them to line up to get back to the school bus and all the other teachers from other schools are looking at the whole winning group.



Those five weeks teach me a lot about teaching profession. The teacher's job did not end after school hour ends. There are many preparations to do and they have to supervise the co-curriculum activities. I have to do a lot of preparation too considering I don't have any teaching experience and was not trained as a teacher. When I was a pupil in primary school, there's some replacement teacher who didn't do anything but tells the class to do their own work. And I didn't intend to be that kind of replacement teacher. All in all, its a really worth while experience to have.



HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!

Sharing

When we share the laughter, There's twice the fun; When we share success, We surpass what we've done. When we share problems, There's half the pain; When we share tears, A rainbow follows rain. When we share dreams, They become more real; When we share secrets, It's our hearts we reveal. If we share a smile, Then our love shows; If we share a hug, Then our love grows. If we share with someone On whom we depend, That person becomes Family or friend. And what draws us closer And makes us all care, Is not what we have, But the things that we share. -Annonymous-

I'm Right, You're Wrong

When people have taken this stance, you're at a dead end. How do you tell him or her otherwise? How do you make him or her see things from a different perspective? How do you make them apologize for what they do because despite them thinking they're right, what they have done is actually unacceptable behavior under normal circumstances and under what is socially and publicly acceptable and unacceptable behavior?



Should they be left with their ignorance? Should we accept that these people have some kind of social disability? I’m perplexed when faced with such people. They left you wondering whether they really have problem understanding basic social principles or is it because they’ve made a mistake (who doesn’t?), but are too egotistical to admit them.



I’m sure we have faced this too often in our life. We have the know-all minister, the know-all boss, the know-all parents, the know-all teacher, the know-all friend, etc. I guess, it won’t be too difficult to just let them be in their own private world if what they do did not affect us in any way. But what if their decisions affect our life? We then have to fight tooth and nail to make them see what we’re faced with. How it will affect us for the rest of our lives. But then again, some still choose not to fight, not to do anything and accept it as fate.



I think that is the saddest part. And some people will say, if they don’t fight for it, they don’t want it enough. That is of course one way to look at things but some people don’t think they have a choice. Just like an adult elephant conditioned not to break away from a small chain because that chain has been used to tie them when they’re just a little baby elephant.

Unappreciative Unappreciated Endeavor

I, of all people, should know what it feels like to be unappreciated for our voluntary effort. We may do it out of our own free will, but some feedback every now and then (good or bad), will do wonders to our motivation. We don't ask for monetary reward or 'datukship' for the hard work. What we need is just some comments, any remarks to give us a sense of direction. Whether what we're doing is on the right track, or we may need to do little changes to improve things, etc. It is after all, hoped to be beneficial to everyone in our target group. But to face a complete silence is very deafening.



Thus, I feel the bloggers being put under the 'elite' limelight (the backbone behind PPS) by some person(s) shouldn't feel slighted in any way with comments on PPS. Any response, feedback, comments is better than none at all. Take it as a sincere comment for wanting to improve PPS for the better. Though 'better' can be very subjective to different people but is it not the intention that counts. While I'm deafened by the very loud silence in one of my forced voluntary undertakings, may PPS become the staple of Malaysian bloggers just like it becomes mine.

Comment Functions in Bloggers

Did I just noticed this or has it been around for quite some time? With Bloggers new look, I noticed 'Comment' tab and has tried incorporating blogger's comment function in my blog.



Now I have two comments link. Will probably phased one out one of these days but for now, I'll see what bloggers comments can do. Not that I have that many comments that is.

Magnificient Cat

What a magnificient looking cat...

Difficult World

From what we heard or read in the newspaper, it seems like this is a difficult world to live in. A world where you have to look at everyone and everything in suspicion.



When you hear your neighbor's kids crying, now you'll wonder are they just being punished for being naughty or just kids trying to get their parents attention or they're abused by their parents or guardian.



Mothers can't even leave their own children under the care of the children's birth father (their husband or ex husband) or grandfather, what more if it is step-father, relatives or neighbors for fear they'll get sexually abused.



Fathers, grandfathers, male relatives get very uncomfortable when cases of children being sexually abused by family members are highlighted in the news. Now, their wife, daughters or daughter-in-law will think twice about leaving the children under their care.



It takes longer to get to go out with your new girlfriend because you're still a stranger by any standard and if they know what is good for them, they better be careful before agreeing to go out with strangers.



You're taking risk when getting into a cab. You can get raped or robbed if you're unlucky. You're taking risk when trying to assist strangers who looked like they're trying to ask for some direction. They might take out some weapon and ask you to hand over all your valuables or follow them somewhere. Crying out for help might not help you in any way.



You can be a victim of snatch theft, getting abducted or kidnapped every time you're stepping out from your house. You can be a victim of burglary when you stayed at home.



You may suddenly being pursued by the infamous "along" because your spouse or children decided to take some debt without ever informing you. You may suddenly owe hundreds of thousands to the bank because your IC got lost once.



Sigh! The list can go on and on but I'll stop now before making myself depressed. This is indeed a very difficult world to live in. This is not the world I want to live in but this is the world that has been created by our very own doings.



We have to make the best of what we have which makes me realize how photography can be a good way of escapism. I can choose to capture the world at its best; a moment in time, freeze permanently.

Let's Just Be Friends

This is just ramblings on one of my life's experience. I hate it when a man says, "let's just be friends" when what he meant was "I'm going to make my assessment whether you can be my potential girlfriend or life partner". The worst part is when they've made their decision (and it's a NO), they'll just vanish without a trace. That's how you knew actually what they meant by 'being friends'. If any of your male friends has ever said that and is still around, they're your friend. But if they disappear without a trace after some time, most probably they've actually assessed and rejected you as a potential life partner/girlfriend.



In dramas, you'll hear this kind of dialogs when one of the parties is hinting to have a more serious relationship and the other party is not ready for any commitment. In this case, I'm referring to those stating up front when they want to befriend you, with great stress on the word 'friend' as if that will give them the license to dump you anytime they see fit. Except, you don't dump a friend do you? These guys will insist you go out with them and say, "Come on lah... it's just a friendly outing. We're friends, what's wrong in going out with a friend". (Warning: These people I'm mentioning are not a total stranger. If a stranger said that to you, my advice is to run away as fast as you can. Don't ever think those rape cases mentioned in the news will not happen to us.)



My messages to these people:-



Firstly, please don't abuse the word 'friend'. I really value that word and very often I'll take that word at face value. Friend means someone who'll stick with us through thick and thin, admittedly at a varying degree depending on how close we are with that friend. Vanishing without a trace however, did not fall under that idea of friendship to me. My Collins 2 in 1 English Dictionary and Thesaurus (my trusted companion all through university life until now) defined friend as 'one well known to another and regarded with affection and loyalty'.



Secondly, that man is assuming the woman will get hysterical and crying buckets of water tears when he told her "we shouldn't continue seeing each other anymore". That's apparently why he chose the safest route i.e. vanish into thin air, instead of dealing with the hysterics and tears. For all he knew, she has never even thought of him as anything more than friend, or has already put him in her potential husband reject list before he told her to just be friends. The only reason she just smile or agree to his suggestions of being just friends is because she didn't mind being friends and nothing more than that at all.



This has happened to me several times in my journey through life but it's not a great lost actually. You don't need this kind of 'friend' around. At first, it baffles me but immediately I get my "aha!" moment and don't know whether to laugh incredulously at their immaturity or slap my forehead in amazement that such people exist. Next time someone said that to me, I'll just roll my eyes and leave them gaping waiting for my answer.



And some of my friends have weirder experience. They are just being friendly to a classmate or colleague, as friendly as you can be to classmates or colleagues that will never be anything to you if they're not in the same class or office, when suddenly they received a tearful note asking "why you went out with another guy, how could you break my heart like this, how could you do this to our relationship, etc.". And these guys have the gall to announce to their friends they have break up with so and so. Hello... when do you ever have a relationship in the first place??



That makes me wonder how weird some people can be and what a distorted social understanding they have. Probably they crave for some drama in their life that they exaggerate things and then going through life believing in the things they exaggerated in the first place. Or they genuinely don't understand how things really work. That when someone lends you their notes when you asked from them does not mean you're in a relationship. Even writing that down sounds incredulous. Can someone literally be like "katak bawah tempurung" in this borderless world? Well, maybe it is not that borderless a few years back, but still.

My Sunflower

Finally, my very own sunflower photo.

Samy and Transportation System

Samy Vellu said he'll be in politics for 10 more years in the news tonight. This prompts me to write about our transportation system since Samy reminds me of highways, roads, tolls and our public transport.



Jam is expected as part of our daily life now. A car pool campaign not long ago has failed. Among the reason probably finding the match of people from a certain area to go to the same office area, and you can't expect everyone going back at the same time with different job responsibilities. And what if someone from the group wants to do some grocery shopping after work and some don't. The hyper markets are not allowed to open for 24 hours no matter how convenient that can be for the public. I thought customer is king and businesses are supposed to address customer's needs but probably not in Malaysia. But I've digress. So there is no choice other than to have your own transport.



The call to use public transport also failed due to obvious reason of unreliability. The lack of integration among the many public transports has been a pain to many but since the ministers don't use them, people just have to bear with it. Just look at the commitment to build more roads and the commitment to improve our public transport. If the millions put on new roads and highways are put to improve our public transportation instead, we'll probably have a first class public transportation system by now.



And then we have our joy and pride, our very much protected national car that will churn out more and more cars on the road. The hire purchase interest rate to own your very own 4 wheels is quite affordable to many. Probably one day our road will become like a slow train of cars moving at 20 kmph because there are so many cars there will not be any room to move faster than that. But then again, maybe not. The price of petroleum is going up and it'll continue to go up since we still have the lowest petroleum price in the region. Isn't that the reason given to us every time there is a price increase?



All this makes me realized one thing; I don't know the long term plan of the country's transportation system. Is there any? What is the mission statement and goals of Samy's ministry? Or will it just be reactive approaches as it has always seemed to me.

From My Inbox: Picture of Peace

There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artist tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.



One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peacefully towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.



The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.



But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on the nest--in perfect peace.



Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?



"Because," explained the king, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."



-Catherine Marshall

From the book: "Stories for the Heart"

Multomah Books

PEE Plate

I'm not going to be caught dead with this car plate number hehe...

Be Indifference For Our Peace Of Mind

Idlan wrote this in her blog:-

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference" - Elie Wiesel

What a beautiful sayings. While Idlan says indifference can be our biggest enemy, I think indifference is necessary to deal with a person who is not worth our attention, emotion and reaction.



Someone said something hurtful today. I'm not actually sad. It is more of an annoyance that someone choose to does that when I have not done anything to him. It seems he is not man enough to take the email I forwarded to one of my yahoogroup as how any forwarded email should be taken.



I've said my piece and he did not apologize for attacking me over a forwarded email or just leave things as it is if an apology is too much for his ego. While I strongly feel like giving another counter attack, I've decided not to. His opinion did not matter. He can wallow in his bitterness for all I care. While the world would be better without such people, there are quite many of them around and we have to tolerate their existence. Be indifference for our peace of mind.

From My Inbox: THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Outwit...Outsmart...Outplay...Outlast...Outta here



6 married men will be dropped on an island with 1 car and 6 kids each, for 6 weeks. Each kid plays 3 sports and either takes music, dance classes or is in Scouts/Brownies. There is no access to fast food.



Each man must:

- take care of his 6 kids

- keep his assigned house clean

- have dinner on the table by 6:30pm

- no TV dinners and different meals each night (meals must be balanced and consist of meat, potatoes, vegetables and salad)

- correct all homework

- complete science projects

- do the laundry

- iron clothes for school

- run errands

- feed and take care of assorted pets

- car pool

- do volunteer work

- juggle the household budget

- get kids to doctor, dentist appointments, sports and music or Scout/Brownie activities (on time)

- purchase/wrap all birthday, anniversary, holiday gifts

- maintain all appliances and car in perfect working condition



The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep, all chores have been done, and they are ready to collapse. There is only 1 TV between them and there is no remote access.



The men must look attractive and keep fit at all times, shave their armpits and legs, have their hair clean and styled, and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves, either while driving or while making 6 lunches.



They must always have something interesting to say and attend weekly PTA meetings and all other school functions (baking for said functions is mandatory).



They must also clean up after their sick children at 3:00am; and be able to make an Indian hut model with 6 toothpicks, a stale tortilla and 1 dried out magic marker; plus get a 4-year-old to eat at least 1 serving of greens everyday.



Oh yes, one more thing. The married man must hold down an 8 hour a day job to help with finances.



The kids vote them off the island, based on performance.



The last man wins .......only if he has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse - without whining, and at a moment's notice.



If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called "Mother."



One more thing, they cannot kill themselves or the kids, or they automatically get voted off.

Horse Riding In Feringghi

What better way to spend your holiday than to watch the sunrise and ride a horse at the beach. This is a new experience for me. One I'll never forget. Riding a horse is the highlight of the holiday. There is no fear, just anticipation. I love to do even silly quizzes sometimes when I'm bored and I have answered 'to be as free as a horse' or similar answer to most quizzes I've attempted. The answers vary actually between being as free as a horse or free as a fish. But now I really get the feel of riding a horse. Its an exhilarating experience and the after effect, I'll grimace with pain when I have to sit down :)

Very painful ler. I just wonder how it is for those who have to ride long distance and spend days on a horse. It feels wonderful to get away from work. Really, really get away. Not just by switching off the laptop.

I Am Not After Your Husband!!!

I'm mad!!! Extremely mad!!! Mad!!! Mad!!! Mad!!! How would you feel if an old lady (who is of a different race and religion from you) got jealous of you with their equally old husband (who is also of a different race and religion from you)??!!!



Firstly, your husband is a married man. Secondly, he is OLD. Besides the different race and religion, he also got no money maa... The fact that I'm not married does not mean I'm lusting after your old husband or just any man for that matter lah. Give me a break!!! Give me some benefit of the doubt that I have at least some taste where men are concerned. I have nothing against inter-racial marriage. Religion is also no barrier when it comes to love. But let me put down a list for you:-



1. Your husband is a MARRIED man.

2. Your husband is OLD.

3. Your husband is of a DIFFERENT religion.

4. Your husband is of a DIFFERENT race.

5. Your husband has no MONEY.



Now, please tell me WHERE the possible attraction is!!



For those who knew me, I'm not the flirty type. I don't even know how to flirt. I'll roll my eyes if I see women flirt and the guys can't control themselves. I want to find a man who avoids flirty woman like a disease. If they can't avoid flirty woman now, there's not much chance they'll avoid flirty woman when they're married. As far as I know, I've been as civilized and friendly as you're supposed to be to anyone whom you have no romantic interest on.



I don't know where she gets such idea. Is it her hobby to make trouble with other people or just a way to get the husband's attention? Whatever it is, do not involve me lah. I know for a fact her husband is a family man and he is committed to his work. Even if he has problem with the wife, I know he loves his children very much and the children prefers daddy to temperamental mommy. I don't think I want to tolerate an irrational menopausal stranger.



Her latest issue is my overpowering perfume. Firstly, I rarely wear perfume because I'm always running late to work and forgot to wear some. I'm more confident with myself if I wear light perfume whenever I go out of course. But because I always forgot to wear them, I've bought a cheap perfumed musk and put it in my car. The scent did not last very long but at least it gives me the strip of confidence whenever I need it. Now, when someone complaints about my overpowering perfume, I know she only wants to find fault with me. That only means one thing. I will wear more perfume even if I can't stand it just to piss her off hehehe... >:)

From An Amateurish And Untrained Anthropologist Perspectives

This is a view from an amateurish, untrained anthropologist...



The society begins with a man (Adam) and a woman (Eve), living together under the institution of marriage. God is their witness. They copulate; have children and the children then follow the same step of marriage and having children of their own. This continues for decades, interspersed with societies being destroyed by war and natural disasters, and now we have billions of human population. Since the beginning of time, male human species is the dominant gender, working to provide food for their family and to protect their female family members.



In Islam, women are supposed to be accompanied by their family members (mahram) if they leave the house, for protection. This is also practised in many societies all over the world. Women of a certain class must have at least another female companion while traveling. Marriage is family business. No question about it. Then there's war. The men have to go to war and that leaves the female family members having to fend for themselves. Some fathers, husband, brothers, came back. Some did not. There are also some unreliable men who drinks, gamble and did not care for the family. The women have to rely on themselves and their family for support. Some managed to get by but some did not have the support that they want.



This forced the women to be more independent. There are so many sufferings that several women advocates rise and begin fighting for women rights and equality. Soon, women also get education and started working to be more independent. Looking at the many ruined marriages, more and more in the society leaves it in their daughters hand to choose their spouses. At least the parents are not to be blamed if the marriage did not work out. Some also argues that women want to choose their own husband after they started leaving the house to seek education and work. Well, that can also be the natural progression after being able to 'see the world' as some might put it.



Educated and working women become the norm. And most men in their lives without fail manage to prove how they can be so unreliable, unlike their forefathers. The institution of marriage still exists but many did not last very long. Many women now stay single by choice to avoid all the hassle of marriage and divorce. Single (divorced or never married) women become the norm in the society. All these did not happen in one day. All these take years to change and become the norm in the society. When does it all happen and how it begun? It all begins with little contribution from everyone in the society.



When the neighbors ignore the cry of an abused wife or children, they contributed to the change in the society. When the society accepts that men can drink and gamble and visit the whores or keeps mistresses, they contributed to the change in the society. When people allow their leaders to become corrupt, they contributed to the change in the society. Just like animal, human being reacted to their surroundings to protect themselves from harm, emotionally and physically. So how do we contribute to the society now and hundreds of years from now?



What have we contributed to the society years ago that we have the batch of youth we have now? The youth that will one day inherit and rule the country. How will they change the society because of what they have to go through growing up?

Tongue Tied

There are myriads of feelings but no words to describe them. The brain can't string the words to form the sentences to explain the melancholy feeling. People said the eyes are windows to the soul. Can people really look into the eyes and knows how one feels?

Foot Massage and Bowling Tournament

Finally I went to have my long awaited foot massage at Bodhisense last Saturday afternoon on my 'girls outing' with an old friend. She went for the body massage. I wanted to do both but they mixed up the arrangement and I only get one hour slot instead of two. Luckily, the heavenly foot massage more than made up for the unfortunate mixed up. Bodhisense has a simple yet very relaxing ambience with an uplifting aromatherapy scent, nice lighting and soothing music. The place offered traditional Thai massage therapy and they have several Thai masseuses to make you feel like you're having a real Thai massage experience. The best part is it did not cost you a bomb.





The trophies everyone is competing for.



On Sunday, we have our batch Kuliyyah alumni bowling tournament. I couldn't hold on to my 'Juara Longkang' title from a different tournament a while back :) I'm the organizer of the tournament yesterday so I've included 'Juara Longkang' trophies for individual and doubles. Either I'm getting better or the foot massage contributed to better body coordination or simply there are worse players than me hehe... The most important thing is everyone enjoyed themselves. We have left the university for six years and this is our fourth reunion. How time flies.





Walking tall and proud after the rare strike :)

A Reputation To Keep

Sometimes, we have to make an effort to build a reputation. To make people know us for something or respect us for something. That can be good girl/good boy or bad girl/bad boy figure depending on our goals. But sometimes, we don't have to do anything at all. Just by being ourselves, we can gain a certain reputation by being consistent in our behavior; a behavior that is perceived by people in a specific way.



I just realized I have this don't-you-dare-mess-with-me repute, enhanced by my friends in some way. I have a very strong opinion on certain issues and have always debated with passion when the issues are raised in discussion. To me, heated debate doesn't mean I'm going to strangle you if you don't agree with me. But if your opinions are incredulous, I will not hesitate to tell you so. Having said that, I'm all for agreeing to disagree at some point. There is no point prolonging a discussion that is going nowhere right.



Recently, having laid down my opinions on the table, a few people did not take it so seriously and taunt me or maybe trying to be funny with their opinions. I have no intention of rising to the bait. After reading the situation carefully, I didn't think it is worth my effort to say anything. Then another friend commented, "don't taunt a hungry tiger" or something to that effect which makes those making the incredulous comments to raise their hand as a form of surrender, not wanting to face my wrath I presumed. I'm bemused. This has happened a few times before but the effect did not really sink in. Yeah OK I'm dense not to realize it much earlier even though I've live in this world for what seems decades.



While I don't really mind having such a reputation, I also realized this can work to my advantage or against me.

In a Split Second, In a Blink of an Eye, In One Swipe of the Wipers

One moment I saw the car speeding in the heavy rain, splashing the water high on the road. The next moment, the same car stopped with the front part on the higher level sidewalk. I was behind the car, about 50 meters away, and did not really saw what happened. In a split second, in the blink of an eye, in one swipe of the wipers, someone get a jolt of his/her life. I didn't think it was anything serious. There's no damage to the car except the driver looses control and the car landed on the sidewalk. One very lucky fella. You can't win with Mother Nature. And I have this to say to the driver, "Serves you right! Padan muka!”



Earlier the car tried to overtake mine which was going 60kmph in the heavy rain, from the left. That was in Taman Bukit Indah, heading towards Selayang. The only reason I was on the right lane is because there's a slower car on the left lane, wanting to turn left at the junction. I saw this particular car coming behind me very fast and then going left trying to overtake. "Hey, you cannot go anywhere man. That car is even slower. Let me pass lah. Then I'll go left and you can have your way. Sheesshh... In the heavy rain oso want to speed." This is a reminder to everyone. Be careful when it rains and keep your distance from the car in front of you.