Someone Died

Someone died. Someone yang pernah menyusahkan hidup ramai orang, myself included.

At one point, she got sick. And people who knew our story asked me to forgive her. Now she's gone... people have asked me to forgive her yet again.

All the while dia menyusahkan hidup orang, didn't really affect me emotionally. Like I couldn't care less ler apa dia nak cakap or nak buat, suka hati ler. Dia try nak buat kita sakit hati pun (my assumption of course) takder kesan apa2. I still got my payment and my training evaluation was among the best. Yang menyusahkan ialah part kena menjawab dan melayan angin dia bila perlu. I called her the cat who barks.

Now she's gone facing her Creator. Semoga urusan alam barzakh nya dimudahkan. While people thought she should be forgiven, I do wonder whether it is us who should ask for her forgiveness.

Memang segala kesusahan2 yang ditimbulkan arwah telah diumpat, diceritakan semula, di refleksi kan apakah masalah nya yang sebenar... jenis manusia apakah dia ini. Yup we did that. Mungkin satu cara melepaskan geram. We bonded because all of us against her. But, because of that do we have to give our pahala to her mizan?

A horrific thought but umpat is umpat. If it was true, it is ghibah. If it was lies, it is fitnah. Kesabaran itu ada ganjarannya. And our impatience can have consequences too. Tak sabar dengan ujian yang Allah datangkan di dunia. Bukankah semua jenia manusia crosses our path for a reason. And the biggest reason of all is to bring us to jannah. Kalau manusia jilake, kesabaran lah penyebab syurga. Kalau manusia baik2, sama2 dia bawa kita ke jalan kebaikan.

I confronted someone too today. Takder apa pun. Just nak clarify something. I'm glad I did because otherwise, akan wujud prasangka yang tiada asas. Maybe orang tak suka I ni jenis direct to the point. But in situation like this I'm really glad I did because prasangka akan menjadi nanah dan barah yang menggangu hubungan baik in long term. And I also did that because I care of our relationship.

If I don't care, I won't be bothered just like what happened to arwah. I don't care of what's her underlying reason. I don't bother if she's in need of gentleness in her life. I read somewhere that someone difficult may be missing something nice and good in life. I don't care.

But then again, maybe I should because the thought of putting our good deeds on her mizan really bothers me. Is there any way we can be forgiven ya Allah?