I'm a happy user of a borrowed iPod touch :) I got excited about the ability to check my email quickly without having to switch on the laptop and the many applications available. There's Mobile RSS that syncs with my Google Reader, Yahoo Messenger, Facebook, ebooks, games, I can even keep track of that time of the month easily and discovered the consistency of the timing has been off for a few months. Then I got excited about the virtual aquarium and farming without having to announce to everyone in my FB list which stage I was on. It was awesome! Touch and tap, touch and tap tap...
The iPod belongs to hubby. The cables were stolen together with his laptop more than a year ago. We tried looking for the cables but it was really expensive back then. Nowadays with iPhone and newer generation of iPod touch, we could find cheaper cables. Hubby bought the cables but has not really been using his iPod. After a few months, he said I could use the iPod if I want to. Only after a few weeks later that I managed to really sit down an explore it. I updated the software (has to pay for it) and started downloading applications and now hubby's envious of the fishes that I scrambled to feed first before I lay down the table for lunch or dinner hehehe... It came to a point that I quickly went to get a new charger when the one we just bought died on me while my fishes were still not fed hahaha... He keeps reminding me that he only lends it to me every time I said how easy and convenient it is. Yes abang, I hear you.
Now I even touch and tap my handphone. Touch, touch, tap, tap... and nothing happens. Duh! Keypads my dear... keypads... We use Garmin on hubby's handphone and I started tapping and touching again whenever we're on the road. No doubt my next handphone purchase must definitely be a touch screen. Before using the iPod, I've been considering a mini laptop or netbook or blackberry or any really smart phone for immediate online access. I traveled with other trainers and how I envy them when they easily slipped out their netbook or other minis and started doing their things while waiting for the flight or something. My bulky 17" laptop stays in the bag.
With the iPod, I can now put such purchases on hold till i really find something that I like. I can now whip out my iPod whenever I go and started doing my things too :) I really am a proud borrower of the iPod. Till I went to Low Yat of course. While hubby went to check his faulty laptop battery, I walked around trying to find a casing for my iPod and that's when the seller will say... Ohhhh.... this is first generation iPod. It's a bit thicker. May not fit properly. Now fourth generation very thin. Sigh! We can't win with technology can we.
I've weaned myself off from the iPod a little bit by not rearing high maintenance fishes and only farm long term crops :) Now I can blog again and am using my laptop for the purpose. Typing on the iPod can test my patience as it will keep auto-correcting my spelling if I don't use proper English spelling. It's convenient but not perfect. Much like human relationship, no one is perfect isn't it.
Sunflower gives the connotation of cheerfulness, bright, jolly, merry... you get the idea! However, if any content in this blog didn't fit the cheerfulness implied by its name, look at it this way... I'm putting down all the wretchedness, gloom, melancholy feeling in here so I can continue living up to the expectation of making the association to the sunflower.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Relationship 101
I had a disagreement with hubby. It's about my driving and it's getting from bad to worse. Let me rephrase that. My driving is fine. Or at least I thought it is fine. For some reason hubby has no trust whatsoever when I'm behind the wheels. Last time, he used to complain about it but still let me drive. Nowadays he wont' let me drive at all despite him being so tired and yawning till his jaw cracked (metaphorically speaking). Obviously he thought it is safer for him to drive despite almost falling asleep at the wheels rather than let a fresher me drive the car.
I won't get an award for being the safest driver in Malaysia. Neither will he. But I have never had anyone distrust my driving capability at such intensity. I remember having positive comments about my driving skills from man and woman friends. I admit though I'm not good at all when I'm tired. I might miss turns, won't be able to park straight and might not be as alert when I'm exhausted. Who wouldn't?
How would you feel when someone you love doubted your capability on something that you have been doing for years and survived Alhamdulillah. For someone who put a complete trust on fate and destiny, qada' and qadar, he will not let his fate and destiny be in my hands so to speak. For someone who has lived most of her adult life alone and do things on her own which includes driving all over Peninsular Malaysia for work and leisure, I thought that fear is irrational. It is also difficult to accept that suddenly I felt like a handicapped person.
In a relationship, there are several key to happiness and ever after. I believe some of them are communication, respect, trust, appreciation and recognition. All of them very delicate in nature.
From his point of view, he just can't help it that he feels unsafe when I took the wheels. From his point of view, I should respect that feeling as to him it's the most important matter of life and death.
From my point of view, I can't live with the fact that my husband distrust my driving for the rest of my life. How can I live with the fact that other people might appreciate my driving skills but not my husband?
So how would you communicate and improve the situation? In marriage I believe there are times where you should just grit your teeth and accept it. When two people who have different personalities live together, there are bound to be differences of believe, opinion, behavior and attitude. Just ask yourself in the long run, will it matter if you raise a ruckus over a certain issue. If it is not worth it, or if it will not support you in the Hereafter, just grit your teeth, accept it and let it go. It will be more pleasant for the rest of your married life and peace of mind.
So in this case, who should concede... grit teeth and accept the situation? Should I humor hubby who's troubled with the matter of life and death or me with a bruised ego? I can only argue for my case in this matter.
Obviously, this issue is very important to me or I would've just grit my teeth and let it go. At my lowest point, I can understand how some relationship becomes irreparable over petty issues. They might appear petty to us but could be a big deal to them as it involves trust, respect, honor, etc. I can understand how another relationships can be formed when you have the ability to communicate, you have the trust, respect, appreciation and recognition that you don't get with your existing relationship. As I've mentioned earlier, I can't live with the fact that we have to face the same situation every time we're on the road and we have to be on the road in a long journey very very often. It's an insult whether he meant it or not.
Hubby let me drive half way on our journey back yesterday. Did I win? It is not a game and I certainly didn't feel like I won anything. I do appreciate the fact that despite the fear, he let me take the wheels. I wish we had better communication over this matter though. I didn't feel like we've resolved anything really. The perception is... "So you really want to drive is it? Now drive!" No comments, no apologies, nothing! So what now?
I have lived alone for a big part of my adult life and had a relatively happy life so my tolerance to emotional blackmail or emotional torture is very low. That is certainly my weakness and I'm working on it. There will always be ups and downs in a relationship. When some issues arise, I will ask, "Is it worth it?", to keep myself in perspective. There's the bigger picture to look at i.e. the rest of our life and the Hereafter. There is no point in winning the war but losing the battle.
I might not be able to explain this situation articulately but the emotion of being trusted, appreciated, recognized and respected in every way is very important to me. Without all that, what's the point of life? It became meaningless.
I won't get an award for being the safest driver in Malaysia. Neither will he. But I have never had anyone distrust my driving capability at such intensity. I remember having positive comments about my driving skills from man and woman friends. I admit though I'm not good at all when I'm tired. I might miss turns, won't be able to park straight and might not be as alert when I'm exhausted. Who wouldn't?
How would you feel when someone you love doubted your capability on something that you have been doing for years and survived Alhamdulillah. For someone who put a complete trust on fate and destiny, qada' and qadar, he will not let his fate and destiny be in my hands so to speak. For someone who has lived most of her adult life alone and do things on her own which includes driving all over Peninsular Malaysia for work and leisure, I thought that fear is irrational. It is also difficult to accept that suddenly I felt like a handicapped person.
In a relationship, there are several key to happiness and ever after. I believe some of them are communication, respect, trust, appreciation and recognition. All of them very delicate in nature.
From his point of view, he just can't help it that he feels unsafe when I took the wheels. From his point of view, I should respect that feeling as to him it's the most important matter of life and death.
From my point of view, I can't live with the fact that my husband distrust my driving for the rest of my life. How can I live with the fact that other people might appreciate my driving skills but not my husband?
So how would you communicate and improve the situation? In marriage I believe there are times where you should just grit your teeth and accept it. When two people who have different personalities live together, there are bound to be differences of believe, opinion, behavior and attitude. Just ask yourself in the long run, will it matter if you raise a ruckus over a certain issue. If it is not worth it, or if it will not support you in the Hereafter, just grit your teeth, accept it and let it go. It will be more pleasant for the rest of your married life and peace of mind.
So in this case, who should concede... grit teeth and accept the situation? Should I humor hubby who's troubled with the matter of life and death or me with a bruised ego? I can only argue for my case in this matter.
Obviously, this issue is very important to me or I would've just grit my teeth and let it go. At my lowest point, I can understand how some relationship becomes irreparable over petty issues. They might appear petty to us but could be a big deal to them as it involves trust, respect, honor, etc. I can understand how another relationships can be formed when you have the ability to communicate, you have the trust, respect, appreciation and recognition that you don't get with your existing relationship. As I've mentioned earlier, I can't live with the fact that we have to face the same situation every time we're on the road and we have to be on the road in a long journey very very often. It's an insult whether he meant it or not.
Hubby let me drive half way on our journey back yesterday. Did I win? It is not a game and I certainly didn't feel like I won anything. I do appreciate the fact that despite the fear, he let me take the wheels. I wish we had better communication over this matter though. I didn't feel like we've resolved anything really. The perception is... "So you really want to drive is it? Now drive!" No comments, no apologies, nothing! So what now?
I have lived alone for a big part of my adult life and had a relatively happy life so my tolerance to emotional blackmail or emotional torture is very low. That is certainly my weakness and I'm working on it. There will always be ups and downs in a relationship. When some issues arise, I will ask, "Is it worth it?", to keep myself in perspective. There's the bigger picture to look at i.e. the rest of our life and the Hereafter. There is no point in winning the war but losing the battle.
I might not be able to explain this situation articulately but the emotion of being trusted, appreciated, recognized and respected in every way is very important to me. Without all that, what's the point of life? It became meaningless.
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