3 Weeks Warded

Dah genap 3 minggu jadi penghuni wad di hospital. Satu pencapaian for me, for hubby and our family. Tomorrow will be my 26th weeks.

Ada masa stress datang menjengah. Secara luarannya macam orang sihat jer. Terasa nak minta balik and sanggup datang check up every week if I have to. But after the discovery of continued bulging after cerclage, mula tukar mindset. Yes; I need to be warded so accept it. The longer I'm warded means better chances for baby to grow well inside my womb.

Aktiviti harian:

- Woke up early as nurse did her 5 a.m. fetal heart check. Normally I didn't go back to sleep. Sometimes a short walk to get hot water for my thermos, go to the weighing machine, get rid of my dirty laundry and get fresh uniforms from the linen closet.
- Fajr prayer and open the curtains at my windows around 7 a.m.
- Sit and socialize with my roommates while having breakfast as the cleaner mop the floor and nurses did our bed. Medicine time, BP and fetal heart check
- Shower, HO visit, MO visit and gynae visit.  Sometimes medic students come to interview us.
- Lunch time and visiting hours. I normally get visited by family and university friends. A school friend is a gynae here but other school friends have not come for a visit yet. I just managed to keep in touch with university friends and many came for a visit. Nobody from my associate company has come for a visit yet. And i have not informed any of my ex colleague. I know I don't have normal colleagues and working arrangements like most people but still that should be a clear sign in life where our priority should lie.
- Resting time, afternoon visit by HO and MO, routine check up by nurses and visiting hours again.
- Dinner time, night visit by HO and MO, routine check by nurses and retire for the night. This can be a challenging time as after prayers, zikr, reading the quran and getting ready for bed... look at the watch and it shows eh... it's just 8.30 or 9.00 or 9.30. My sleep time depends on many factors like my ability to sleep the night before, whether I took afternoon nap and WA group discussion among other things.

I'm not aware how much I've grown since we're always in uniform so tak perasan baju mana yang dah ketat kalau di rumah. But hubby said dah nampak tembam :p

I can live with the food walaupun pernah nangis tengok gambar ayam goreng. Hubby and friends memang rajin menyampaikan hajat nak makan apa bila ada masa dan kesempatan. I pun didn't demand yang bukan2. However, the food here is really edible and sesekali tak berselera tu biasa lah. Ni wad bukan hotel kan. Sedangkan lauk hotel pun boleh jemu dan jelak kalau kena kursus seminggu.

Roommates ok jer so far. Tapi baru2 ni masuk sorang yang dah 33 weeks and akan duduk sampai bersalin. Boleh ler berkawan tapi jenis bawa kawan2 dari bilik lain datang berbual kuat2. Aduh... so not my style. Malas lah nak join sangat.

Ada2 masa hubby pulak stress. He has his moments too. Balik ke rumah yang kosong, jumpa sekejap2 di hospital, pack work schedule that requires rescheduling to accommodate hospital visits, rindu jangan cerita lah. What can I say... cabaran juga tu kan.

Friends say it will all be worth it. I believe it will too. Cuma nak menyampaikan saat impian jadi kenyataan tu terasa lama sangat.

Social interaction online banyak membantu. Tapi bila mood dah down, tak terasa nak melayan chat sangat. Zikir dan bacaan al-Quran juga dapat buat tenang sekejap. Cuma bila teringat kan sesuatu perkara yang buat kita down, mood down balik.

That's how it has been. That's how it will be till an undetermined time. At the very least everyone hope baby can hold on till 7 months. At most of course we wish for full term baby.

Berbunga-bunga Dalam Hati

Harini sangat2 terharu and happy. Pagi2 hubby dah sampai dengan sambal ikan bilis kiriman sis. TQ sis. Selera balik lah makan minggu nih. Hubby kena outstation jauh ke utara. Tapi sempat temankan lunch sambil bawa ayam goreng dengan sambal sotong. Nyummm... sedap betul. Berselera makan sama2. Alhamdulillah... tak perlu makan sedap selalu. Bila dapat sesekali sangat2 bersyukur dan menghargai. Sayaaanngg darling hubby :)

And a friend SMS tanya esok nak makan apa. Wahhhh... best nyer rezeki. Minta dia buatkan apa2 meat dish except soup hehehe... Sorang kawan lagi nak buat surprise yang tak berapa surprise sebab dia tanya I ada pantang makan apa2 tak hehehe... Haritu dia surprise visit lepas tanya wad berapa. Terasa sangat bertuah dikelilingi orang2 yang mengambil berat dan menyayangi. Walaupun malam tadi terbangun tak boleh tidur dari kul 1 lebih sampai 4 sebab ada baby macam Ahmad Albab... asyik nangis ajer lah... tak terasa nak tidur siang ni. Melayan wa family and friends... cepat sikit masa berlalu. Malam ni insyaAllah dapat tidur nyenyak walaupun Ahmad Albab nangis sebab dah letih sangat. That's what happened last time masa ada baby girl yang nangis macam Ahmad Albab. 1 malam tak boleh tidur, malam esok nyer nyenyak jer walaupun ada 3 baby yang tak nyenyak tidur hehehe...

Kerana Gambar Ayam Goreng

Ini kisah malam tadi...

Kerana gambar menu dinner seorang kawan di muka buku, berderai airmata malam ni. Ada gambar ketam, ayam goreng and nasi goreng yang nampak sungguh menyelerakan. Tapi dalam semua tu, my realistic mind fikir ayam goreng tu paling senang nak bawak.  Ayam goreng garam kunyit jer pun... tak perlu lah berempah bagai. Hmmm... realitinya takder saper nak layan bawak ayam goreng malam2 ni.

Mula lah keluar lagu background sedih. Begini lah kehidupan dibesarkan agar tak mengharap pada orang dan tak menyusahkan orang. Takkan semua nak berharap pada hubby. Fikirkan pula kesusahan2 dia nak menyampaikan hajat kita. Makanya kita makan airmata jer malam ni. Nurse2 yang cek malam ni tanya sakit ker. Bila cakap tak mereka pun tak tanya banyak.

Inilah antara insignificant wishes that I have. Memang tak penting. Ramai lagi yang ada masalah yang lagi berat kena duduk hospital. Ramai lagi yang hadapi kesusahan lagi besar diluar sana.

Tapi ada2 masa orang praktikal dan realistik pun... ada insignificant wishes yang mungkin esok dah tak penting langsung.

But tonight... thinking of that yummy picture of ayam goreng bodoh jer pun... *teary eyed* Sigh!

Dah 10 hari di hospital. Bila benda2 remeh menyentuh hati tanda dah mula stress kut tu. Sabar... sabar...

Warded: Pros and Cons

The Pros:

1. Meal provided on time. Tak perlu merayau cari food at stalls yang kadang2 buka kadang2 tidak.
2. Close supervision by medical team.
3. Enough rest. No worries about laundry, rumah berhabuk or tak berkemas.

The Cons:
1. Cabaran betul bila menu sup ikan, sup ayam, sup ikan, sup ayam, sup ikan, sup ayam... cabaran betul sebab selera makan ok jer and bila teringin lauk2 lain telan air liur jer lah. Tapi kadang2 takder pilihan gak di stall2 dekat rumah tu. Kalau malas nak drive jauh, apa yang ada jer jugak.
2. Kalau tak di wad and apa2 jadi, bukannya cepat pun dilayan kalau ke bahagian emergency tu.
3. Sihat walafiat jer di luarannya. Cabaran betul bila hanya boleh duduk baring jer sepanjang hari. Tapi kalau di rumah takut lupa diri and buat macam2.

I wish...

Kalau difikir2kan, I didn't have any significant wishes except for this 10 weeks to pass by quickly.

Insignificant wishes memang banyak. But on hindsight, there are just that... quite insignificant.

Best case scenario:
Boleh balik, bedrest di rumah and check up every 2 weeks macam dulu. Everything OK and dapat deliver baby dengan selamat.

Worst case scenario:
Unthinkable.

Ya Allah, permudahkan lah jalan sepanjang 10 minggu ni.

Giving Baby A Fighting Chance

Last Wednesday I was wheeled to the OT at around 7.45 am. It's still early morning, not many staff around. I waited for about half an hour before being attended to. Doctors have morning briefing till 8.30 but they prep me before my doctor arrived. I'll be anaesthetised waist down. I have never been in OT before except for D&C once and I was knocked out during that procedure. I'll be wide awake this time. The anaesthetist asked a lot of questions on medical history as well as explained the procedure. I was asked to fast starting midnight before the procedure.

The jab to the waist in between backbones was quite frightening experience just because I don't know what to expect. I was asked to sit, they give me a pillow to hug and started the jab. I gripped my blanket tightly, closed my eyes and breathe deeply. In about a minute started to feel tingling sensation. I felt poked when they clean the area and then I didn't feel anything waist down. My doctor arrived, greeted me and explained the risk again. Dr Norizan is a petite but determined looking lady. I have signed the agreement form but she asked again just to be sure.

During the procedure I started to feel nauseous. They get ready to suck my vomit. Now I know why fasting is necessary and I'm glad I did. Apart from phlegm and saliva nothing came out. I calmed down for awhile before another bout of nausea hit me. As I was about to calm down again my doctor turned to me and said she discovered my opening is already 4cm and uterus is already bulging. The procedure now have 50:50 chance as membrane could rupture and caused premature delivery. If I didn't do anything cervix will continue to dilate further as well and preterm delivery unavoidable. Sigh! I asked the doctor's opinion. She didn't want to decide for me but in the end said we have a chance if we do something rather than didn't. That is so true. I want to give baby a fighting chance. So told the doctor to proceed and I prayed hard. She managed to push uterus in and I can hear they are being very cautious and careful with a point of potential disaster from their voices and panic exclamations.

Alhamdulillah when the doctor turned to me and said everything went well but the cerclage position is quite short so I'm to be monitored long term at the ward. I can live with that... or at least try for baby's sake. I was observed for an hour before wheeled back to my ward. I felt chilly and shaking even though they kept me well covered. They warned me not to raise my head higher than my feet or I'll feel nauseous again and not to eat anything for 6 hours after the anaesthetic.

During noon visiting hours hubby, MIL, SIL and family came for a visit. I was still in lying down position until 3pm. Hubby came again during evening visiting hours and we shared dinner. Poor hubby, no stalls were opened a day after Aidiladha. I'm still on drip and movements were very limited. By 5 I was feeling the onset of headache. That night I can't sleep till about 3am. Pounding and throbbing like nobody's business. Told a nurse and she came with panadol which I'm allergic to. Then a doctor came and suggested I drink more water since I can't take any painkiller. After talking to him, I ate 2 pieces of bread and drank water. I started burping. Thank God. Though my headache not totally cleared but at least I know the reason. Gas must be due to fasting since the night before and eating late after the procedure. Managed to sleep for less than 2 hours but feeling better afterwards. I woke up because of routine check by the nurse. I was given 3-days dosage of tablet to prevent contraction. The dosage ends this morning. Hopefully everything will be OK. I've also bought utrogestan on doctor's advice because I'll not be taking duphaston after 24 weeks. The hospital didn't have utrogestan in stock but they managed to get it from UPM pharmacy. So praying for the best. We've done all we could. Sabar yer baby. Tunggu besar sikit baru jumpa ummi.

Warded Eventually

Kak Sue, perut akak dah besarrr... so said my friend, yang dah sebulan tak jumpa. Haish... tak jadi nak perasan masih comel hehehe... dan dah beli uniform sehelai. Bought it even before she made the comment actually.  Nak beli lebih tapi design tak minat and yang minat 2 helai lagi cutting tak sesuai pulak. Kalau ada kesempatan kita cari kedai lain pulak.

Sebenarnya sendiri dah perasan pembesaran yang agak ketara bila sehelai tshirt yang biasa pakai dah tak boleh hide tummy. I'm approaching 3rd trimester and baby will grow more rapidly. Semoga baby grow dengan sihat. I don't mind wearing uniforms :) Tak nak lah pakai sendat-mendat.

That thought was few days ago. Arini dah hari ke3 di hospital. Thursday check up. Sempat merasa pakai my maternity blouse masa gi check up tu. Cervical length masih 3cm tp bila buat VE jalan dah buka 1cm :( so kena warded. Tapi ward penuh jadi menunggu di Patients Admission Centre (PAC) dekat dewan bersalin. Ramai betul ibu2 yang dah sarat menunggu. Duduk2 di sofa yang disediakan.

Due to my condition, doctor suruh rest in bed at their preparation room. Ibu yg tunggu delivery memang kena jalan2 bagi jalan buka. Masa warded at 2pm, wheeled on wheelchair from O&G clinic. Tak sempat nak lunch. Breakfast pun roti krim jer pagi tu. Lapar nyer. Menunggu sampai ke petang bawa ke malam. Belum ada gaya wad kosong. Lagi pun based on 1st come 1st serve. Around 6 dinner was served. Makan dengan 3 orang lagi yang sama2 menunggu. Kami berempat di panggil nama and told ada wad kosong di kelas 2 tapi kena bayar booking cepat. Siapa cepat dia dapat. Perut lapar sangat so isi perut dulu. Yang lain tak selera makan menu sayur rebus dgn ikan rebus tapi I sorang2 makan sampai licin.

Lepas makan baru nak gi bayar wad tu. Dalam 5 minit jer lepas diberi tahu dah takder kosong dah. Sigh! Tapi mungkin tak diterima pun because they want cash $350 or GL as deposit. I only have about $300 with me and hubby still at work di hujung dunia. Bilik bersalin ada 18 or so I saw at their signage. Bilik 2 and 3 used as examination room. That night the 4 of us were allowed to use the bed in the two rooms. Yang lain kena tidur sofa. Alhamdulillah rezeki walaupun my bed tak selesa sangat ada gap2 in between the cushion and lubang. Not sure used for what purpose bed yang macam ni.

Hubby ada kelas malam ni so he went. Lagipun nak hantar barang2 pun belum dapat wad lagi. Barang2 already packed in the car and car parked kat bukit2 bukan jalan ber tar. Parking sementara tu sebab biasanya parking penuh sangat. And once warded tak boleh keluar dah. Sure by nightfall tinggal kereta tu jer satu di kawasan tu. After hubby's class dah malam sangat. Suruh hubby datang besok jer lah. Tak sanggup nak suruh hubby amik kereta dalam gelap bawah pokok di kawasan bukit2 after midnight. Hujan lak tu. Bukan boleh bawa balik pun kereta tu. Hubby datang sorang. Setakat alihkan ke proper parking dulu buat masa ni.

The next day early morning hubby came and brought breakfast. After dapat barang2 simpan in the temporary room. Nasib baik dah buat persediaan. Dan nasib baik juga kami tak disuruh keluar because they want to use that room. Malam nyer berjaga sampai kul 3 pagi menunggu doctor scan sebab pakai alat dia tak dapat  check fetal heart. Sampai ke petang menunggu nak dapat wad. Ada bed tu boleh gak baring2. Around 2 told ada katil kosong di wad kelas 2 lagi. Cepat2 ke kaunter. Hubby pun dah tinggalkan duit pagi tadi so lebih pada cukup untuk booking. Specialist doctor dah bagi tahu nurse 1st come 1st serve sebab masa dia meronda ada 20 ibu2 yang menunggu. Nasib baik juga sebab masa I tunggu di situ the lady at the counter nak reserve untuk yang ada GL. Nurse di dalam informed her of doctor's order. Begitu begini, menunggu lagi dan akhirnya 5 orang dapat wad. Yang lagi 4 ialah yang menunggu di sofa. My geng yang dapat bilik sementara tu takder pulak. Kesian juga yang kena menunggu di sofa tu. Lepas kul 4 baru sampai wad. Jalan ramai2 ibu2 mengandung macam siput terkedek2 bawa beg2 masing2 semua ikut 2 nurses yang tolak 2 ibu and baby yang baru deliver ker wad. Nurse2 tu jalan laju jer tolak bed ibu sambil tarik katil baby sorang satu.

Alhamdulillah dapat juga rehat di wad. 4-bedded with a toilet. Bilik sementara lagi high class 2-bedded with a toilet hehehe... tapi takkan nak stay disitu pulak. Mula2 dapat katil dekat pintu. Tak selesa sebab yang jalan2 boleh nampak sebab curtain tak cukup panjang nak cover. Sebelah ada sinki so bila patients lain or worse their husband guna sinki tu nampak kita. Dan tak dapat cahaya sangat dari tingkap sebab katil yang dekat tingkap tutup curtain masing2. Tanya nurse nanti boleh tukar katil yang dekat tingkap tak sebab ada potential I have to stay here long. I need the sunshine. Orang katil sebelah dah nak keluar. Tapi nurse kata dah ada orang booking di situ. I said OK... but please consider me again masa next patient keluar nanti.

Tapi malam tu tiada pulak orang masuk. The next morning tanya nurse night shift pulak. Diorang kata ok tukar jer maka terus lah kita buat renovation selesakan tempat hehehe... Nasib baik katil and locker ada wheel. Mula2 nurse cakap alihkan barang jer but then I prefer the pillow I have and locker bersih jer tak comot. Meja pun sama. My bed pun macam lagi comfy jer. Pagi2 dah alih perabut buat macam rumah sendiri. Ada another patient jer yang dekat tingkap gak. Only the two of us for the night. Explain to her my situation. Terkejut gak dia ada renovation lepas subuh kan. Bila semua dah setel Alhamdulillah lebih puas hati. Ada ruang sikit dekat tingkap kalau nak solat. Semalam solat di surau just to find out kiblat direction. Lepas ni boleh solat tepi katil. And ada sunshine and pokok2 hijau luar tingkap.

Mungkin nurse day shift semalam banyak kerja dengan patients ramai malas nak layan tukar2 katil ni. Semua dah masuk system. Tukang hantar makanan pun dah ada senarai katil. Semua tu kena diberi tahu. Night shift nurse tak kalut sangat so lebih baik hati when I explained my situation. Siang tadi one of the day shift nurse from yesterday senyum jer dia tanya bila I tukar katil. I told her this morning sebab malam tadi takder orang pun.

Specialist dah check noon tadi. Kebetulan baru kena infection pulak, 2-3 hari before check up haritu ada discharge. So kena clear kan infection before can proceed with cerclage. And she told me only 1 in 25 yang successful using cerclage. And once ada funnelling very unlikely for it to go back to normal. The dilation can only get bigger. Whatever probability, we'll try to delay sampai baby makin besar and selamat walaupun kalau dalam case preterm in worse case scenario kan. Apa2 pun so far baby sihat. Senang jer detect jantung baby pakai alat dekat wad ni. Naper dekat PAC tu susah sgt. Tgh stress kut masa tu. Movements baby pun Alhamdulillah. Barang2 yang dah bawa tu memang tepat kegunaannya. Ada one tumbler jer yang tak perlu coz I have small water bottle with me masa pergi check up. Pakai yang itu pun dah ok. My small thermos pun tak lama sangat tahan panasnyer so senang alihkan ke water bottle every time I need hot water yang baru. Bilik nak ambil air panas dekat juga dengan bilik ni. Ambil angin lah sikit bila pergi ambil air panas or ambil change of clothes. Otherwise terperap di bilik jer nanti.

Part makan, selera lah setakat ni. Asyik lapar jer. Dinner tadi jer makan separuh. Yang sebelum ni licin jer. Lunch dapat buah. Kalau di rumah laku buah. Kat sini kurang sikit sebab sejuk. Bila lapar dan sejuk, makan buah macam tak best. Dinner ada dessert jeli macam2 warna ikut hari tapi rupa sama. Yang tu lagi tak makan. Bukan ada nutritional benefit pun. Coloring and perasa jer.

My bed is raised sikit di bahagian kaki. Tak selesa sangat but manageable. Walaupun dah 3 hari di hospital tp baru 1 night di wad. Tonight second night. At the moment masih belum stress dengan rasa terkurung lagi with all the flurry of activities and checking by doctors. I hope I can manage coz already being warned of the possibility masa previous check up so mentally quite prepared. Sama juga dengan hubby. Trip berulang ke hospital pun bermula, not to mention balik rumah kosong jer. Sama2 kena mentally prepared. so itulah lebih kurang perkembangan 2-3 hari ni.

Dear baby, please hang in there till it's time OK. Ummi dengan ayah tengah usaha ni so we can both hear your first cry and see you grow up jadi anak yang beriman. Aamiinn...

 Temporary bed

 Makanan di PAC yang I makan sampai licin - except tulang ikan lah.

 Lunch menu di ward.

 Selipar pun ikut tema uniform hospital.

Room with a view. 

Finding a Suitable Sleeping Position

Dalam hadith Nabi ada disebut paling afdhal tidur mengiring sebelah kanan. Secara saintifik nya tidur sebelah kanan takkan menghimpit jantung. Tapi dalam website and western pregnancy forum banyak disebut tentang research that proves tidur mengiring sebelah kiri good for pregnant mothers kerana dikatakan baby akan lebih banyak dapat oksigen. Sampai ada ibu2 yang risau betul kalau tertido mengiring ke kanan atau terlentang. Tak baca pulak camana research tu dibuat and berapa sample nyer. Of course rational nyer tidur jer lah ikut arah mana yang selesa especially for pregnant moms right.

As for me, tidur mengiring sebelah kanan biasanya paling selesa. Kalau susah nak tidur sampai bertukar posisi banyak kali pun, akhirnya akan terlena bila mengiring sebelah kanan. Our bed has been repositioned so that we can enjoy the aircon more as compared to old bed position. As a result one side of the bed is right against the wall. Masa zaman muntah2 dulu tukar tempat dengan hubby so it'll be easier for me to jump from the bed and ran to the toilet. Bila mengiring ke kanan akan mengadap hubby. Sekarang dah bertukar tempat semula because this side of the bed will experience full blast from the air conditioning and my nose normally have problem with aircon and fan. So near the wall kurang sikit direct blow from both aircon and fan.

As a result, bila mengiring ke kanan akan mengadap wall instead of hubby. Dulu2 zaman baru kawin hubby selalu kata yer lah wall tu lagi menarik dari dia kalau tidur manghadap dinding. Jenuh nak ambil hati semula tu. Now nasib baik hubby tengah busy and selalu tertidur keletihan so dia tak perasan kut bila wife dia pusing hadap wall hehehe... Or darling hubby faham I kena cari position selesa sebab tummy dah besar. Sorry yer darling hubby. Baby nak tido sebelah sini nak wat camner kan. Hug spoon style jer lah ;)

Nampak Baby Gerak

Baby dah aktif gerak. Kalau dulu rasa sikit2 jer dan jarang2, sekarang dah rasa hari2. Hubby ada pegang perut tapi dia tak rasa lagi movement so I thought ummi jer yang boleh rasa baby main2 kat dalam for now. Pernah observe tummy and watch getaran2 kecil jer. Lagi pun baby biasa gerak masa baring mengiring. Bahagian tummy yang terhimpit tu yang rasa. So tak terfikir dah boleh nampak baby move. Tapi semalam nampak beberapa kali movement yang jelas masa bersandar on lazy chair and I got so excited. Bagitau hubby tapi ada orang dalam mood nak buat lawak sibuk plak tunjuk tummy dia pun boleh gerak2 hahaha...

Takper baby. Next time boleh tunjuk aksi pada ayah yer. Main elok2 dalam perut ummi dan semoga membesar dengan sihat :)

Just in case...

Semalam susah nak tidur. Sambil baring2 tu terfikir kan persediaan ke hospital just in case the doctor ask me to be warded. Memang penuh harapan boleh bed rest di rumah jer tapi doctor dah suruh standby next check up. Kalau tiba2 kena warded tanpa persediaan susah juga kan.

List of things to do and prepare:

1. Keluar duit and deposit to current account. Senang bila2 kena buat online transactions. Buffer ada lagi tapi tak tau kena warded berapa lama.

2. Bayar bil hujung bulan lepas ASAP. Selalunya bayar bil ikut suka hati bila ada mood nak catit all payment amount in my diary and bila rajin buka laptop. Senang sikit last sekali save as pdf senarai payment tu. Kalau pakai phone susah sikit.

3. Clothing and toiletries: kain batik, tshirt, sweater, socks, tudung, underwear, towel, minyak zaitun for stretch marks, minyak angin, telekung, sejadah, body wash, shampoo, toothbrush and toothpaste. Plastic for dirty clothes and selipar for showering use. Tissue and wet tissue. Actually skirt better than kain batik sekarang ni. Dengan tummy ni, kejap2 londeh lah kalau pakai kain batik or kain hospital tu.

4. Change of clothing. Bila hubby ambil yang kotor and hantar yang bersih, senang dah ada another clean pile waiting. Tak perlu hubby tercari2 lagi. Underwear pun bukan semua muat lagi :p He wouldn't know which.

5. Thermos, water tumbler, mug, tupperware, fork and spoon, 3 in 1 drinks, biscuits and bread.

6. Barang2 berpantang semua nak order online. Sure hubby takder rumah bila poslaju sampai. Kena authorize hubby gi ambil di poslaju ler.

7. Barang2 baby satu pun tak beli lagi. Hubby kata tak perlu beli awal2. Memang masih berisiko for me. Anything can happen and only Allah knows. Tapi kita beli jer lah sikit2 insyaAllah ada rezeki kali ni. Kalau tak der rezeki, sedekah lah pada saper2 brg2 tu. Paling kurang ada baby blanket dengan nappy masa nak bawa baby balik rumah. Lebih sikit persediaan nya ada baju 2-3 helai, towel and toiletries sikit2 untuk baby. Baby wipes and changing mat. Takkan masa pantang baru nak mencari kan.

8. Bantal kecil untuk my tummy. Baring kadang2 tak selesa. Bantal kecil tu guna nya letak bawah perut masa mengiring atau dekat tengkuk masa bersandar.

9. Habiskan cuci pakaian and tudung. Hubby tak tau mana yang kena cuci dia saja, mana yg kena guna net, mana yg perlu gentle cycle.

Banyak juga persediaan. Semoga tak jadi mudharat pulak bila nak siapkan semua tu. Sehari sebelum check up kena berehat di rumah jer. Tak nak sebab berlari ke sana sini buat persediaan, sebab tu pulak kena warded kan. Ada barang yang kena letak dalam kereta masa check up nanti, ada yang tinggal kan di rumah tapi tempat yang hubby senang cari. Kena gi check up sorang2. Kalau kena warded pun, daftar sendiri and check in sendiri. Memang membazir masa pun kalau hubby tunggu sekali. Baik dia setelkan kerja dia. Lainlah kalau tengah free.

Walaupun kena BED REST, tidaklah strict sangat terbaring jer kalau di rumah ni. Boleh tengok tv, cuci baju (mesin yang cuci pun), sidai kain, keluar dekat2 beli makanan, angkat kain, lipat kain, baca buku, sapu rumah, cuci dan lap apa yang patut, bersosial di FB and WA, petang2 ambil angin siram pokok. Kadang2 mengadu gak boring pada hubby. Dia kata kalau kena duduk hospital lagi boring. Memang betul pun. Di rumah ada gak variety.

Bersin kurang sikit walaupun masih ada. Tidaklah rasa sampai nak terkeluar isi perut. Doctor ada bagi ubat yang kuat sikit, boleh buat mengantuk. Tak terbangun malam2 untuk bersin. Just in the morning bila bangun sometimes feels dry dalam hidung. Tu yg buat bersin.

Hubby, he's busy right now. Balik pun paling awal pukul 8. Kalau ada kelas, around midnight. Kadang2 dapat cakap berapa ayat jer sehari bila dia dah letih sangat. Hopefully tak terasa sangat bila wife not around kan.

I really hope tak perlu warded and boleh continue bed rest di rumah. But if I have to, I'll do it. Semoga Allah permudahkan and semoga semua selamat.

Stretchmarks and Maternity Clothes

Tummy has expanded. However masih perasan diri kecik molek sebab belum perlu pakai uniform hehehe... biasa orang ingat dia gemuk tapi kita perasan maintain slim boleh tak? Hahaha...pengsan hubby kalau baca ni. Berat on scale memang dah bertambah but ai still want to perasan. Janji ai happy OK. Alhamdulillah no stretch marks yet and no itchiness tapi once in a while ada gak terasa gatal at one tiny spot at different locations. Sometimes ada rasa geli2 on skin yang buat rasa nak menggaru. Tapi every time nak menggaru terus tak jadi bila terfikir is this because of stretch marks appearing on tummy?

Have bought stretch marks lotion tapi tidaklah diligent sangat memakainya. As one blogger wrote, beli lotion mahal kalau tak rajin pakai pun tak guna. Terasa pulak... walaupun lotion memang tak mahal tapi part rajin tak rajin tu memang terkena sebijik. Actually beli lotion brand pureen sebab terbaca blog yang kata bau dia wangi sangat. Dah beli and pakai but then turns out I'm quite averse to smell. Even perfumes. Masa mula2 pakai OK, kejap lagi jer tak yah tunggu lama2 dah rasa nak muntah. Hmmm... lepas ni kena try olive oil pulak tengok OK ke tidak. Hopefully tak muncul bau2an yang kurang menyenangkan. And hopefully tak timbul stretch marks yang banyak.

Masih ada baju yang muat dipakai. Walaupun tak banyak, masih belum urgent nak beli uniform pregnant :) Tshirt blouse yang A-cut can still hide tummy on certain angle hehehe... I'm on a long leave now so no worries about work attire. Though if necessary, few of my baju kurung still fit. For my nieces wedding ceremonies, managed to make do with old baju kurung and I'm so happy about it. Kain jer tak boleh kancing and zipper went half way only tapi orang tak nampak kan :) I went shopping once, nothing appears appealing to me. Dari beli tapi tak puas hati, better wear old clothes. Lagi pun all these while memang jarang pakai baju kurung so masih elok baju2 tu macam baru.

Sekarang ni nak berjalan shopping pun rasa serba salah sebab doctor suruh bed rest. If next check up situation worsens have to stay in hospital till delivery :( So, nak shopping ker apa semua kena sabar dulu till check up. Semoga everything OK and I can enjoy pregnancy sebelum menerima kehadiran orang baru.

Me and Weird Polygamy Story

Semalam mimpi pelik. Tertido sebelum sempat baca 3 Qul... mula lah mimpi bukan2. I have to marry another man. Konon2 ada perjanjian lama antara family and I have to fulfil it despite already being married. Yer... kena berpoligami gitu except in this case I'll have two husbands. They were so disappointed that I am already married tapi janji tetap janji.

Scene dalam mimpi was at new husband family house after wedding ceremony. I wasn't happy kena kawin paksa tapi sebagai someone yang taat perintah Allah, kena taat pada suami. I have no choice but be nice to him. He's a big guy, very very dark with balding head and thick moustache. Takut sangat tau.

Ada sekali tu dia suruh ambilkan tali pinggang and I saw tali pinggang bersusun berderet2 macam2 warna and jenis. At first I didn't know which one so he pointed at one and I managed to find the right one lepas belek a few. I sheepishly said I have to get to know his belts after this. Ada gak terfikir dia ni pukul wife dengan tali pinggang ke? Macam2 tali pinggang ada.

Rumah tu tengah ramai saudara-mara. Even sis was there tengah potongkan kek. Darling boy adib pun ada and I entertained him nak makan kek dengan minum kopi. Hubby jer yang tak der. Dalam keadaan terpaksa and helpless tu tiba2 datang rational thoughts. How can I be married to him? It can't be legal. If I got pregnant, saper ayahnyer? Hubby can't possibly accept dimadukan kan! Hahaha... sounded funny when phrased like that. So I decided to call hubby. Tengah nak cakap dengan hubby suddenly that man datang berdiri sebelah. Seriously terus rasa takut and duk cakap hello! Hello! Banyak kali kat hubby. Lepas tu terus terjaga and istighfar.

Hubby... I love you OK. Tak pernah terfikir nak kawin orang lain tau. I didn't know how I could even dream something like that. It's not like I watched malay drama or movies or ada bercerita pasal kawin paksa ker. Semalam tak tengok tv sangat pun sebab ada mood nak kemas rumah and cuci bilik air. Kalau tengok tv pun layan channel 710 or 701 jer tau. Citer spy, tembak2, siasat2 murder cases... tak ada drama. Hmmm... pelik betul mimpi tu. Woke up at 4 nak peluk hubby, hubby takder pulak. Isy... tak sabar nak tunggu hubby balik.