Together or Separately?

Nak bercuti dengan hubby bukan lah mudah. Banyak isu perlu difikirkan. Setakat ni tak semua impian tercapai dek macam2 kekangan. Haritu... ada lah peristiwa yang menyedihkan. Hubby kata kalau susah sangat, pergi jer lah holiday sendiri2. I can go holiday with my friends. Memang pun pernah holiday dengan kawan tapi logik ke nak ke tempat yang sama tapi pergi berasingan? Dia pergi dengan satu kumpulan yang tak dikenali dan kita pun pergi dengan kumpulan lain. Ada mahram tapi tak pergi bersama and harapkan pada porter Nepal atau porter Indon pulak yang jaga kita. Dia pulak, ada isteri tapi pergi solo. Katanya, kalau dah susah sangat dan itu yang mudah dan terbaik. Of course I disagree... kegilaan apa kah itu. Maybe it's normal to some people. Ramai jer jumpa geng travel solo, male and female, in our previous hiking group. Tapi logik sebab spouse tak minat dan nak jaga anak2. Ada kawan yang both husband and wife minat hiking, pandai2 lah atur urusan anak2 so they can hike. In my case, I can make myself available anytime. Tiada hal anak2 yang nak dirisaukan. We love doing the same thing. The only differentiating factor, I have siput pace while he's not. I don't think that's an issue. Lebih sihat untuk jantung dia to follow my pace and minum dan berehat whenever I need my rest dari ikut pace laju orang lain, kurang minum, dan kurang berehat.

Tapi bila tinggal sorang2, terfikir jugak.... susah agaknya hubby nak fulfil his responsibility. Letih, penat dan susah bagaimana pun kena juga travel nak penuhi tanggungjawab. Banyak tanggungjawab dia. Mungkin lah... kalau nak permudahkan untuk hubby, bercuti jer lah asing2. Cari kumpulan yang boleh dipercayai, pergi jer lah ceruk mana yang nak diterokai. As long as dia izinkan. So hati pun tawar terus nak join group mana2 pun. Pergi lah abang... pergi lah sendiri kalau itu lebih mudah. Maybe he wants to experience faster pace. Tak perlu lah nak bertahan2 ikut pace wife yang siput ni. Dah lah siput, semput pulak. So after rationalizing like that, mode redha jer lah. Nanti nak pergi haji pun boleh pergi sorang. Hubby dah pernah pergi. Kerajaan Arab Saudi pun dah benarkan perempuan 45 tahun ke atas buat haji tanpa mahram. *mode sayang hubby and tak nak menyusahkan urusannya dan menambah berat tanggungjawab nya.

Tapi panjang pulak muncung hubby lepas tu. Memang urusan kerjanya berat. Macam2 masalah dalam projek sekarang. Cuma susah bagaimana pun, biasanya tak nampak lah hubby stress sangat dengan muncung berhari2 sampai begitu sekali. Amazed juga tengok how hubby normally handle stress kerja. Kadang2 setakat muncung sekejap kita biarkan jer lah sampai mood ok semula. Kadang2 try lah ceriakan orang stress setakat yang mana patut. Except... haritu. Berhari2 muncung nya sampai rasa patut tanya stress sangat ker kerja sekarang. Nak buat camana ni nak hilangkan muncung tu? I actually can't handle his 'muncung' well. Boleh naik darah... pelbagai dialog dengan diri sendiri dan dengan Allah nak sabarkan diri bila tengok muncung gitu. Finally keluarlah sebabnya... tak suka dengan my suggestion untuk holiday separately.

Eh hairan betul kan. Bukan kah hubby yang suggest pergi holiday asing2. It's not that I'm happy with the decision to holiday separately. I just thought maybe that's what he wanted and the best decision for our problem and situation. Sigh! Dah agree, he's not happy pulak. Baiklah... so holidaying separately is not the best decision apparently. And, this episode reveals what he wanted more than words can say. Kalau ditanya memang dia tak bagi jawapan yang direct pun. Of course bila tahu sebab muncung tu makes me happier. Hubby don't mind pun hiking dgn siput semput or maybe it's the guide and care by Indon or Nepali porter that he's not happy with. Whatever it is, action speaks louder than words and I love the outcome of this episode in our life. Awat sibuk sangat tengok drama di TV tu. Ini lah drama kehidupan 😊 and way much better. Dah tahu isi hati sebenar tu, gigih dan tabah lah nak dapatkan what everyone wants, laksanakan tanggungjawab sebaiknya. Mine, towards my husband. And hubby, towards semua yang berada di bawah tanggungan nya. Semoga Allah permudahkan urusan kami.

Together!

What Makes You Happy and Contented?

Di bulan Ramadan ni, 2 public figure died from suicide. Kate Spade, fashion designer... berapa ramai wanita berebut2 nak memakai rekaannya. Dan berapa ramai yang berangan nak jadi designer famous macam dia. Anthony Bourdain, famous chef on travel channel... berapa ramai berangan nak travel ke sana-sini 😓 But they chose suicide. And we should reflect on this.

Bersyukur dengan hidup kita. Gratitude... dalam semua keadaan. Pasti ada keindahan dalam hidup kita. The fact that we can breathe tanpa perlu kena bayar pun dah besar nikmat. Orang asthma lah paling dapat merasa part bernafas ni. Alhamdulillah dengan kehidupan begini lah yang Allah telah aturkan ini lah yang mampu kita tempuhi.

Merasa Pakai Saiz S Semula

I've been eating healthier for months now, joining my school alumni's fitness program. Dah 4th Challenge dah... join them for the motivation but I've been quite relaxed with the program. Selalu jer breakfast dgn lontong + rendang ayam... nyummm... Makan jer aiskrim and chocolate... but consistently makan suku-suku-separuh. Almost every session turun lah sikit... dalam 2kg or sekilo lebih sket. Yang penting ialah jadikan eating healthy and healthier lifestyle as a habit. Avoid processed food and white sugar and hidden sugars as much as possible.

Dah berminggu2 berat plateau jer... around 58kg. Puasa ni pun macam turun water weight jer. Tadi gi cari baju raya. Mak yang beria nak temankan cari. I'm not interested dengan baju liplap, renda sana sini, rambu-ramba sana sini. So cari lah baju simple2 jer... most dah out of season pun. Tapi banyak saiz XS, S and some XL. Banyak juga berkenan tapi saiz S. Finally gave size S a shot. And wowww... I can fit in them. Pakai on top of my blouse sorok2 tepi kain sebab dah penat berjalan. Bila muat, mak suruh try betul2 in the fitting room.

The biggest challenge is the kain part. Almaklumlah pear shape kan. When the kain fits... I'm in awe 😍😍😍 Alhamdulillah merasa juga pakai saiz S semula. If I remember  correctly, a loooonnggg time ago, memang pakai saiz S and kalau kebaya mungkin M kalau nak longgar2 sikit. Masih sedar diri ni... sebab baju kurung lah muat. Kalau baju berfesyen ni still kena try lah saiz M ker L ker. Banyak juga baju dah longgar and maybe kena shopping especially baju kerja. But not so soon sebab target berat is 55kg. Berat sebelum kahwin tu. Kalau berat masa mula2 kerja dulu around 47-48kg, nanti orang kata sakit pulak. Sekeping jer... nampak baju pun melayang2 jer di badan. Hopefully lepas raya tak lah naik mendadak pulak.

Liberation from Eating

In Ramadhan, feels free and liberated from "eating". Tak perlu bawak botol air, fikir nak makan apa dan di mana bila keluar... amazing! Of course kena sahur dan berbuka but asal ada benda nak makan, kira ok lah.

I'm the kind of person who feels cranky when hungry and if not cranky, got pounding headache from hunger, or weak from thirst, or perut berangin and bloated. Life gets uncomfortable without proper meal. How lucky right. Many in the world don't even have that luxury. There simply is no food or water...

Anyhow, to avoid any discomfort I will always be ready with water bottle and some snacks while on the go. Penting juga fikir nak makan di mana and when. For example, when I have my follow up check at the hospital... dah set if I ran out of water nak beli air di mana. Sebelum lapar, gi makan di kafe. Adjust timing around my meals. Di bulan Ramadhan ni tak perlu pun fikir semua tu. Beg pun kurang berat tak perlu bawak macam2. Beg ringan, badan pun ringan lah sikit :D