Salah Sendiri

Penat training... tapi terasa macam nak gi enjoy huha huha and relax2 shopping. Tak lah shopping sangat. Haritu dah beli barang2. Temankan urusetia training shopping sambil sendiri cuci2 mata. Ntah bila lagi dapat sampai ker KK ni.

Bila dah sampai, jalan2 cuci mata memanglah tak ingat masa.

Bila nak balik baru perasan gps location takder exactly for the training location. Main agak2 jer lah. Dah malam, dah letih, salah jalan pulak, memang lah stress. Kena marah lagi balik malam2... double stress. Salah sendiri. Konon2 nak enjoy girls outing dah jadi tak enjoy. Terus jer terasa tiada apa pun yang best bila dah kena bebel. Tiada apa pun yang best. Makan seafood, nak jalan2 sangat... nak shopping2 sgt, memang no mood jadinya.

Jom kita tidor aje lah. Semoga esok menjanjikan sesuatu yang lebih baik.

Nak Dijadikan Cerita...

Masa Mas hantarkan thesis, baru perasan nama Head of Department tertinggal Nor. Tuan punya badan insists nak nama dia yang betul. Makanya... because of the three letters, our world goes upside down.

Mas ke kedai fotostat, orang di situ kata tak boleh diselamatkan hardbound thesis kami. Di situ hardbound thesis charged $25 per book. Haritu dah buat $15. Rugi begitu jer. Tapi kalau dah tiada pilihan buat juga lah. Kemudian dapat tahu kena tunggu 4 hari. Kalau nak dibuat di Serdang, by the time Mas sampai sure kedai dah tutup.

In the end decided Mas bawak balik Melaka dan cuba cari di Melaka. Tapi last minute dia ternampak satu lagi kedai fotostat. Rezeki kami... kata orang tu tak perlu buka pun hardbound tu. Ada caranya. Tapi dah lewat. Dia akan siapkan esok dan somebody has got to collect and send it for three signatures again. 2 kedai fotostat sebelum tu kata tak boleh kena buka semua.

She has ex-student currently studying at the same uni dan sanggup tolong. Walaupun perlu ke Ipoh esok harinya, sanggup dia tangguhkan untuk bantu ex-lecturer. Collect thesis pagi2 esoknya, tolong ambilkan signature dari 3 orang berbeza dan hantarkan ke CPS office. Alhamdulillah ada insan yang sudi membantu. Otherwise Mas would have to make 2 hours trip the next day and I'm feeling helpless across South China Sea. Itupun she only reached home at almost 3 am that day. Her mom and children dah transit at her brother's house. Kesian Mas.

Begitulah dugaan nak menghantar thesis. Yang bagusnya dapat kawan yang kuat berserah pada Allah. Segala dugaan dihadapi dengan tenang. Alhamdulillah both of us managed to get through the trying moments together with emotions in tact. Said to hubby memang patut kami pergi konvo and enjoy the moments sebab susah-payah nak selesaikan Masters program ni.

Salah Plan

I'm in KK now. Reached here yesterday. Urusan thesis masih belum selesai. Not exactly salah plan sebab dah plan yang terbaik but kita merancang, Allah yang tentukan. Patut urusan thesis dah selesai 2 minggu lepas but it didn't turn out that way. Now bercuti 'kononnya' walaupun urusan penghantaran thesis belum selesai. Sigh!

If I knew things turn out this way, I would only fly today. The training is tomorrow until Thursday. Flight back is on Friday. I could just extend to Sunday or Monday if I want to and invite Mas (my classmate) for holiday celebration. If I could foresee the turn of events, I'd wait for Mas this morning and either go together to send our thesis or pass to her. Then only proceed to airport. But since things has been this way, make the best of the situation.

Dinner: Umai, prawn, ulam tomato & ulam mangga.

Rambang Mata...

Kalau beli dengan harga RM1776 pun org ingat barang Mydin gak hehehe...

So shopping I went yesterday, rest, reflexology and massage, nice dinner.... alone! Quiet 'me time'. I'm a master at that remember. Alhamdulillah despite everything, I managed to make the best of the situation. So Mas is to get key from my husband today, go to our house to get the already completed hardbound thesis, forms and softcopy in CD that I've prepared, and send it to CPS office. May Allah make it easy for her.

As for me, I'm actually amazed I can remain calm and relax when training is tomorrow and situations are as it is. Normally if there's training, I'd feel rushed to ensure everything went smoothly. Continue with last minute preparation and things like that. Either I've grown old to worry about things unnecessarily, or I've mastered the training that it didn't worry me anymore. Whatever it is, I'm at peace and making the best of the situation. Alhamdulillah.

The Final Lap

And now.... the end is near....

Bitter sweet journey.

I have been quiet. I have been extremely busy too. I have been stressed with outstation training AND the looming deadline with the mishaps and whatnot... sigh! Maybe another entry of the mishap if I'm in the mood.

Alhamdulillah we managed. Between me and my classmate.... and my husband, we juggled with sending and collecting the thesis here and there.

Managed to get the hardbound copy done in one day today and burn the CD for softcopy at the shop.... now is just the matter of final submission. May Allah make it easy for us till convocation time.

I can go outstation tomorrow with a 'relief, stress-free' frame of mind.

Emotional and Panic Because of Statistics

Perlu tulis pengalaman ni sebab betul2 buat panik sekejap tadi. I've always known my data to not have normal distribution. Slightly skewed and with outliers in one of the levels tested. Dulu my friend ajar untuk tulis  "imperfections of normal distribution can be compensated by the robustness of parametric test ANOVA". Dah tulis dah. Without citation. Bila dah terima for correction ni my supervisor comment ayat tu takder citation. Betul jugak tu. Tanya my friend dia dapat dari mana dia tengah busy pulak. Dok Google sekali terjumpa pasal what to do with non normal data distribution. Memang panjang lah cerita nya. Waaaa.... matilah kalau kena rewrite balik part results and findings tu. Bukan sikit2 tu sebab flawed assumptions so semua akan effect. Cari2 lagi info and akhirnya jumpa 2 paper yang support statement yang my friend ajar tu. Famous jugak paper2 tu sebab beratus jugak yang cite them. Ya Allah syukur Alhamdulillah. Seriously tadi teringat habislah thesis kena reject. Writing style excellent pun tak guna. Haaaa... sekali tu rupanya statisticians ni pun ada bermacam2 mazhab. Pilihlah yang sesuai utk kegunaan kita. Hmmm... nasib tak kena heart attack tadi. Emotional upheaval sekejap.

Antara Raya dan Tak Berapa Nak Raya

Genggaman erat tangan FIL and MIL di hari raya :) Inilah tangan yang dah menempuh pelbagai dugaan untuk membesarkan anak2 seramai 12 orang, bertungkus lumus mencari rezeki.  FIL and MIL bukanlah jenis romantik2 ni. Kerja K.Long lah ni menggayakan diorang untuk diambil gambarnya oleh anak cucu. Apa2 pun FIL and MIL sporting jer melayan kerenah anak2 dan cucu2.

Accept for the case of my missing phone charger and cik T in the room, Raya was uneventful. Bermacam cara dah dibuat nak hilangkan cik T di rumah MIL tapi masih ada juga nampaknya. Hampir2 kena silat bila hubby terkejut hehehe... The only big decision I have to make is whether to continue the long Raya holiday or returned home to complete my thesis correction.

I submitted my thesis on Monday early morning before 9 a.m., the week before Raya and received them on Thursday. Can you imagine how fast that was? Normally examiners have like a month to mark. My second examiner completed marking on Tuesday i.e. the next day. My supervisor completed it on Thursday. The office called me to collect at around 3.30 p.m. saying they're closing at 4.00. I was like... really??? They expect me to flew there? Thankfully hubby was around the vicinity and they are willing to send to hubby since hubby's in a meeting and he can't leave. So that's how I got them back before Raya and have to do correction based on their comments.

I returned home on 3rd Raya with a heavy heart. Memang dah plan dari dulu lagi if I have to complete my thesis, tak boleh raya lama2. My earlier plan was to submit after raya before dikejar bagai nak rak to submit earlier. I was in JB for a week-long system training when I received call from them suggesting Friday deadline after my return from JB. Itu pun dapat extend and I finally submitted on early Monday morning. However, bila dah start cuti raya rasa berat pulak nak cut the holiday short. Anyway, I'm glad I did sebab the major correction semua dah siap insyaAllah Alhamdulillah. Tinggal APA format jer yang belum complete pembetulan. The format correction will be done by an expert in CPS office. Siapa yang tak nak buat pembetulan sendiri, boleh bayar $5 setiap 1 page. If only I know how to do it myself. Setakat yang biasa2 tu bolehlah tapi yang jarang encounter like citing online newspaper or newspaper article tu tak reti nak buat. Hopefully he's available in short notice. But whatever I can, I'll try to do it first. Tak nak lah nanti thesis kena reject sebab my margin is 0.02 inch less than the required format or line spacing not done correctly or citation tak betul. Ini kerja tak produktif ni membetulkan format but that's the reality of doing research.

Apa2 pun bila dah setel semua chapters and dapat feedback ni baru lah betul2 jelas apa content yang patut ada dalam semua sub-topic tu. Kalau tidak, mana tau apa2 melainkan ikut2 contoh yang ada. Nasib baik my classmate who is a lecturer baik hati bagi her thesis as reference. My supervisor's thesis pun ada as reference.  I bukan rajin sangat asyik2 nak gi ngadap supervisor. My supervisor pun tak rajin nak buat face to face consultation. We communicate a lot through WA and email jer. Sekarang baru nampak jelas dan nyata and makes me appreciate setiap bahagian tu for a more scientific explanation. Gitu ler rupa gayanya nak buat research ni.

Nampak tak? Nampak tak? :D

Hati berbunga2 bila baca 1-2 feedback yang positive walaupun correction banyak juga kena buat. Itu baru dapat pujian manusia. Belum lagi pujian dari Allah swt. Agaknya kalau kita terima instant feedback on our good deeds sure lebih bersungguh untuk buat baik and pleases Him. Tapi feedback cuma akan diterima di akhirat nanti. Sekarang ni feedback yang ada cuma dalam bentuk yang indirect. Contohnya diberi keberkatan rezeki.... walaupun duit tak banyak tapi rasa cukup, diberi keberkatan masa... walaupun kerja banyak tapi dapat disiapkan, diberi kasih sayang suami/isteri dan anak2 dalam rumahtangga. Ada juga feedback dalam bentuk yang nampak sukar seperti perang di Gaza tu, kehilangan orang2 tersayang... atau kesusahan2 lain. Itu juga tanda Allah sayang kerana apa jua perkara yang membuatkan kita lebih dekat kepada Allah ialah tanda Allah sayang. Kalau dibiarkan hanyut dengan keseronokan dunia, tanda Allah tidak pedulikan kita Nauzubillah.

Sambil menyiapkan thesis ni, sempat juga berpuasa Syawal. Harini dah masuk hari ke4. Kalau tiada aral boleh lah genapkan 6 hari by Tuesday. During Ramadhan haritu dah raya awal 5 hari. Walaupun bersungguh2 berharap dapat solat Raya, dah pergi masjid bagai tapi macam tak berapa berjaya. Nak ziarah kubur anakanda pun tak sempat lah. Balik2 bila timbang, berat dah naik balik :( Bila puasa jer baru berat turun. Water weight jer lah tu. Sigh! Semalam rebus ketupat segera, buat sambal ikan bilis and makan dengan serunding masa berbuka. Sebenarnya rasa tak puas makan ketupat tahun ni sebab raya pertama dah habis and memang tak makan sangat pun masa raya sebab dah berazam tak nak makan melampau. Cukup sekadar kenyang biasa2 jer. Lagipun tahun ni semua giliran beraya di rumah MIL maka cepatlah habis ketupat dan lemang yang ada. Dalam cuba nak makan ala kadar tu pun berat naik jugak :(

Since thesis dah boleh dikatakan complete ni maka harini ialah hari mengemas rumah. Dari balik haritu pandang jer habuk2 tu. Kalau tiba2 ada orang datang beraya, sure tak bagi diorang masuk sebab rumah macam tongkang pecah pun ada, macam orang baru pindah pun ada. Baju2 berlipat bersusun kat sofa belum sempat diangkat. Beg2 balik kampung pun belum simpan. Rumah tak bersapu luar dalam. Pasu bunga pun dah naik pokok2 liar. Hiasan2 untuk raya, kuih raya, semua takder. Except langsir yang dah ditukar, lain semua tak sempat nak buat. Janganlah ini semua disebabkan tiada keberkatan masa Nauzubillah. Anyway, harini lah masa yang ada nak buat semua tu. Lewat petang ni dah nak ke MLK semula untuk fetch hubby yang nak balik esok. Esok juga dah nak buat kerja printing dan lusa deadline untuk hantar for proofreading and grammar correction, and ke CPS office for format correction. Semoga dipermudahkan.