Book Choices

My book choices has changed over the years. It's interesting to look at the phases of my life from my book choices.

I love a good story. Who doesn't? The first phase in my book choice is story books... Malay or English doesn't matter. I'd devour the story in the fastest time possible. Then my preference leaned towards English books because my teacher said we can learn English by reading English books. And probably because I want to show off to my brother that I read English books even though sometimes I didn't really understand many words but I managed to enjoy the storyline. That's the most important thing. Enid Blyton and Agatha Christie books were among the books I love to read. Teenage years was when I was introduced to Mills &Boons.

When I started working I purchased self help, finance and management books. At this phase in life, I want to be successful in my career. I want to be the Bill Gates or Anthony Robbins or the person who successfully climb the corporate ladder. I don't read novels anymore. The novels engage my mind, engrossed me with the characters, laugh with them, cry with them but it didn't bring me anywhere. I need the formula to become the successful young person in the organisation.

After a while I didn't purchase books anymore. I bought lots and lots of magazines on women fashion, my interest in photography, home deco, garden deco and travel magazine till one day I realise I didn't manage to read the magazines from page to page and cover to cover like I used to. I have been busy with work and other responsibilities. Then I started scaling back on my magazines purchase till in the end I didn't buy any. Only once in a while when I think it will get due attention from me.

When I became a trainer, books are used to glean ideas on things that can be shared with the participants and also finding the next best philosophies, mantras and wisdom. After a while I abandoned theoretical books for books that gives me practical approach to make my training better. I also purchased quite a number of books about writing.

Now I'm on to another phase of book choices yet again. Islamic motivational books... books that will help me love Allah and His Prophet better because there is a Malay proverb that says, "tak kenal maka tak cinta". So to truly istiqamah in my pursue of hereafter, I must constantly learn about loving Allah and His prophet s.a.w. I've also purchase books on success stories that motivates... a la biography. One that I just read is "Ulu Yam di Liverpool". I believe there should be a lot more books of this kind. Enough of romantic novels that fills the mind of our youth with unrealistic love stories. Encourage them to read life stories of others, their hardship, failure and success, and hopefully motivate them to wake up and take responsibility of their life and be motivated to work hard to achieve their goals.

So those are my book choices over the years. Reading for enjoyment, reading for self development (worldly pursuit), reading for relaxation and pursue of interest, reading for improved work performance and reading for  self development again (worldly as well as hereafter pursuit).

About Happiness and Our Choice

Has this ever happened to you? You believe in your heart about something, you practiced it, lived it, breathe it and then you read about your life principles, your believe written by someone and you go "Aha! I've been doing that all my life, or since a certain event happen in my life". That's why sometimes we love books written by someone who didn't exactly share a rocket science theory or something new and innovating. You already know all the formula. You're just happy to be reading about it written articulately by someone who seems to take the words from your mouth.

This is one of it that I'm happy to read :)

ARE YOU HAPPY?

We are all searching for happiness. In achieving this happiness our attitude in life plays a crucial role.

After years of hard and dedicated service to his Company, Ahmed was being appointed at an elegant reception  as the new Director. It was a small function where his wife Fatimah, a Home Executive,  and  some of the wives of the other persons in top management were also present.

In an adjacent room, Ann, the wife of the CEO of the Company, asked Ahmed's wife a very odd an usual question; "Does your husband make you happy?"

The husband, Ahmed, who at that moment was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up slightly, feeling secure, even filling his chest lightly in pride and hope, knowing that his spouse was a role model Muslimah and would definitely not publically lower or degrade her husband, would answer affirmatively, since she had always been there for him during their marriage and generally in life. Nevertheless, to both his and the others' surprise, she replied simply;

"No, no he doesn't make me happy…"

The room became uncomfortably silent, as if everyone were listening to the spouse's response. There was a sudden coldness in the air. The husband was petrified. A frown appeared on his face. He couldn't believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him. To the amazement of her husband and of everyone!

Fatimah sat up firmly, moved her elegant black hijab in place, and explained in a modest but stern tone to the other wives who were present;

"No, he doesn't make me happy… I AM HAPPY. The fact that I am happy or not doesn't depend on him, but on me. Allah Ta'ala is Most Wise and has granted each of us intellect and discretion to reason, interpret and decide. Allah Ta'ala made me the person upon which my happiness depends. I make the choice to be happy in each situation and in each moment of my life. If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious trouble! Over my life I have learned a couple of things: I decide to be happy and the rest is a matter of 'experiences or circumstances;' like helping, and understanding, accepting, listening, consoling; and with my spouse, I have lived and practiced this many times. Honestly true happiness lies in being content"

Relieved and reassured, a smile was clearly noticed on Ahmed's face.

Moral:  Happiness will always be found in contentment, forgiveness and in loving yourself and others. To truly love is difficult, it is to forgive unconditionally, to live, to take the "experiences or circumstances" as they are, facing them together and being happy with conviction. There are those who say I cannot be happy:

·       Because I am sick.
·       Because I have no money.
·       Because it's too cold.
·       Because they insulted me.
·       Because someone stopped loving me.
·       Because someone didn't appreciate me.

But what you don't know is that you can be happy even though you are sick, whether it is too hot, whether you have money or not, whether someone has insulted you, or someone didn't love you, or hasn't valued you.

The Noble Messenger of Allah Ta'ala is reported to have said: "The happiness of the son of Adam depends on his being content with what Allah has decreed for him… the misery of the son of Adam results from his discontent with what Allah has decreed for him." (Hadith- Tirmidhi)

Being Happy is an attitude about life and each one of us must decide!

Being Happy, depends on you!

I also believe that "happiness shared is doubled, sadness shared is halved". Hence, our spouse plays an important role in our emotional state. Once I was so sad with the way someone who used to be a good friend belittle the lost of my baby. She has turned to become like a stranger and I'm perplexed how heartless can someone be. Even strangers share my sorrow, here someone who used to be my best friend showed a different side of her. I tried to contain my feelings. I feel sorry for her that whatever happened in her life has changed her to become this heartless person. But I'm human after all. I woke up the next morning remembering her heartless remarks. While I tried to reason and rationalise with myself to let it be, it didn't do me much good till I shared the story with hubby, shed a few tears and then I felt so much better. Hubby console me almost using the exact points that I tried to reason and rationalise with myself but hearing it from him, with a hug and advice makes me feel so much better. That is like one of the most beautiful experience for me because the relief that I felt is almost instantaneous while before I almost felt like bursting with anger.

I believe we can choose to be happy no matter what the circumstances. There may be times when we're down. We ARE human after all. But after a while we can choose to make ourselves happy. We will bounce faster and quicker if we choose to be happy in this temporary place... this world. Eternal happiness can only be found in the hereafter.

The question now is how do we make other people realise this important life survival guide i.e we can choose to be happy. Whatever the situation, lay down the facts of the circumstances or events, what action can be taken (include plan and contingency plan), what is within our control and beyond our control... redha and leave it to Allah. Follow the flow. If it has be ordained that we're supposed to be here, experiencing this sadness or worry or disappointment, then this must be something good for us. Barakah in our patience, hikmah in our perseverance, and nikmah when we realise Allah knows better what is best for us.

Doa Nabi Musa a.s.

Kisah yang indah dari buku Dr MAZA "Penawar Duka Pengubat Sengsara" tentang Nabi Musa a.s. yang melarikan diri dari Firaun ke Madyan di mana baginda terlihat 2 orang perempuan menunggu giliran untuk mengambil air bagi memberi minum binatang ternak mereka. Mesir dan Madyan sangat jauh. Dalam keadaan letih dan lelah, Nabi Musa a.s. tetap menolong membantu mengambilkan air. Diceritakan dalam Al Qur'an seperti ayat di bawah.

Surah Al-Qasas, Verse 24:

فَسَقَىٰ لَهُمَا ثُمَّ تَوَلَّىٰ إِلَى الظِّلِّ فَقَالَ رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

[28:24]Maka Musa pun memberi minum kepada binatang-binatang ternak mereka, kemudian ia pergi ke tempat teduh lalu berdoa dengan berkata: "Wahai Tuhanku, sesungguhnya aku ini fakir kepada apa sahaja kebaikan yang Engkau turunkan."

Maksudnya baginda amat memerlukan apa sahaja kebaikan yang akan Allah berikan bagi menghadapi suasana dirinya ketika itu. Ketakutan dikejar tentera Firaun, keletihan, kelaparan, tiada satu apa pun bekalan pada dirinya.

Kemudian baginda dijemput ke rumah 2 orang perempuan itu oleh ayah mereka. Diberikan perlindungan, makanan, pekerjaan dan dikahwinkan dengan salah seorang anaknya.

Doa yang amat menyentuh hati ketika kita menghadapi suasana tenat yang amat memerlukan rahmat atau ‘kesian’ Tuhan kepada kita. Memberi ketenangan sebelum pertolongan Allah turun dan harapan yang menjadi jambatan yang menghubungkan ujian hidup dengan Tuhan yang memiliki segala kehidupan.

Doa yang boleh diamalkan:-

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِير

Rabbi inni lima anzalta ilaiya min khairin faqir.

"Wahai Tuhanku, sesungguhnya aku ini fakir kepada apa sahaja kebaikan yang Engkau turunkan."

Ujian Allah boleh membuatkan seseorang itu terduduk, kehabisan usaha untuk mengatasi kesusahan, hingga tersedar tiada sedikit daya upaya pun melainkan berserah sepenuhnya kepada Allah.

Chapter penuh di:
http://drmaza.com/home/?p=967

Ujian Itu Nikmat

Sekian banyak janji Allah di dalam Al Qur'an tentang nikmat di syurga. Adakah kita menjadi sangat dekat dan menginginkan syurga tersebut beserta kenikmatan2 di dalam nya? Umpama tak tergapai dek akal dan jauh sekali dari fikiran kita keindahan syurga itu.

Bila kita diberikan kesenangan harta, adakah kita terbayang kemewahan yang lebih lagi di syurga? Bila kita lihat keindahan alam, terbayangkah keindahan syurga yang jauh lebih indah? Kita diberikan keindahan wajah dan tubuh badan, yang akan dimamah usia dan hilang keindahan tersebut bila tiba waktunya, terbayang kah kecantikan yang kekal abadi di hari akhirat? Kita diberikan pelbagai nikmat di dunia ini, terbayang kah kenikmatan2 yang berkali ganda hebat nya di syurga? Di janjikan bidadari, mahligai yang indah, pohon2 yang hijau subur dengan buah yang enak, air sungai yang mengalir dengan air yang sedap rasanya dan bermacam lagi nikmat.

Kerana tidak nampak di depan mata, maka mungkin kita kata kita mahu... tapi tidak cukup kesungguhannya. Jika bersungguh hendakkan syurga, masakan kita tidak berusaha untuk dapatkan nya. Kalau ada peraduan yang memboleh kan kita dapat telefon, kereta atau rumah percuma, bersungguh2 kita mengumpul setem atau berbelanja atau memenuhi apa saja syaratnya dengan harapan kita bertuah mendapatkan hadiah tersebut. Ada kemungkinan juga kita tak dapat atau tak sempat nak mencukupkan syarat untuk dapatkan hadiah. Kenapa kita tidak bersungguh seperti itu untuk dapatkan kenikmatan2 di syurga yang bukan Allah pilih melalui cabutan bertuah. Semua yang berusaha untuk dapatkan ganjaran tersebut sudah pasti akan dapat ganjaran. Tiada batasan terhadap kuasa Allah.

Sekian banyak juga janji Allah tentang siksa kubur dan neraka. Tempat yang sangat menakutkan. Baru terkejut dengan seekor cicak atau nampak lipan atau kala jengking atau ular... hati kecut, seram dan takut. Terbayang tak binatang2 yang menakutkan di dalam kubur? Terkena air panas sedikit atau api sedikit pun sakit tak terperi. Terbayang tak kesakitan di neraka yang berganda2 sakit nya dan bukan sekejap tempoh masanya. Nauzubillah. Kita selalu berdoa jauhkan lah dari siksaan api neraka tapi adakah kita betul2 beramal untuk menjauhkan diri darinya?

Diri ini lah umpama orang yang digambarkan di atas. Walaupun tidak hairankan peraduan yang boleh beri barangan percuma, tapi umpama begitulah usaha untuk mendapatkan akhirat. Tidak bersungguh. Amal ibadat mungkin sekadar buat tanpa mendalami ruh ibadat tersebut. Bila solat, tidak betul2 terbayang kita sedang menyembah Allah yang maha esa. Fikiran boleh melayang2 dengan masalah2 duniawi. Tidak boleh lupakan sekejap dan betul2 fokus dengan solat.

Bila baby Adly meninggal, ingatan untuk bertemu dengan anakanda di akhirat lah yang beri kekuatan. Terbayang berjumpa semula dengan buah hati ini. Di sana dia tidak sakit. Di sana ummi boleh tatap wajahnya,  peluk, dukung, cium. Segala apa yang dirindukan sekarang, akan diubati rindu tersebut di sana. Itu lah ganjaran yang jelas dan nampak di depan mata. Maka harapan hati ialah mampu berusaha untuk mendapatkan syurga. Tak sabar rasanya nak berjumpa anakanda, ya Allah jauhkan lah aku dari siksa neraka. Kesian anakanda Adly tunggu ummi tak sampai2. Ya Allah jauhkan lah aku dari siksa kubur kerana kubur itu tempat yang gelap dan akan terasa lama sekiranya aku banyak dosa. Sedangkan orang yang banyak amalnya tidak terasa lama di dalam kubur, tidak terasa lama di alam barzakh dan segera dapat masuk syurga. Diri ini sedang cuba memperbaiki amalan ibadat. Masih banyak yang perlu diperbaiki. Belum lagi dapat khusyuk yang sempurna tapi lebih sedar akan kekurangan berbanding sebelum ni. Dosa yang boleh dijauhkan, hindarkan lah. Kawan2 yang mendorong kita ke syurga kita dekati. Kawan2 yang tidak mendorong ke syurga, kita jauhi. Diri ini bukan lah lebih baik dari mereka. Cuma mungkin belum sampai masa mereka menyedari apa yang diri ini sedari. Mungkin kelak mereka lebih baik dari diri ini. Kerana setiap insan ada perjalanan hidup yang perlu mereka tempuhi dan lalui untuk menghargai kehidupan dan mendambakan hari selepas kematian.

Itu lah nikmat dari ujian Allah. Diri ini belum lagi jadi Muslimah sempurna, belum lagi jadi hambaNya yang terbaik, tapi sudah faham perbezaan dulu dan sekarang dan terasa nikmat untuk mendapatkan keredhaan dan pengampunan Nya. Manusia mudah lupa. Semoga dapat istiqamah dengan niat ini. Bila kita lebih mencari kebaikan, akan banyak juga ujian akan datang. Mungkin akan ada ketika dugaan lain yang lebih menyedarkan dan lebih ganjaran sebagai tanda kasih Allah pada hamba Nya, semoga tidak tergelincir dari terus menjadi hambaNya yang mencari kebahagiaan akhirat.

Patutkah manusia menyangka bahawa mereka akan dibiarkan dengan hanya berkata: "Kami beriman", sedang mereka tidak diuji (dengan sesuatu cubaan)? (Al-'Ankabut : 2)

6th Anniversary

Yesterday is our anniversary.  On our 6th wedding anniversary, I pray for Allah's blessing for many more years to come. We've passed the 1st 5 years, moving on to the second 5. May we continue be blessed with barakah and rahmah so we will enter Jannah together and meet our baby. InsyaAllah... please grant us this prayer Ya Allah. Aamiinn...

Smile :)

Hubby is supposed to have a meeting today so I only plan for simple celebration near our place. Hot spring holiday comes to mind but not in this hot hazy weather. My initial morning activity have to be scrapped too due to worsening haze. So it'll be indoor celebration ;-)

The haze

- went to hubby's office to collect some documents
- accompany hubby to the bank
- breakfast at hubby's favourite mamak restaurant
- return home to re strategies  our plan due to the haze. Hubby did some work while I catch up with the news and did some activities research :D
- final plan: early lunch, movie at the cinema, massage
- steamboat lunch... I've wanted to eat this for several days already. Terus terkam... tak ingat nak ambil gambar.

Our kind of movie... action flick and guess what... it's about a plane. Fitting with current mood. 

Nice reflexology and massage

- followed by early dinner, prayers and movie at home.

Another action movie :)

- relaxing and enjoying each other's company.

We misses baby... but.... focus on the eternity, we'll meet him in the hereafter insyaAllah.

Nice surprise few days ago :)

Semoga kami istiqamah dalam mencari keredhaan Allah dan dijemput pulang dalam iman, dijauhkan dari azab kubur, diselamatkan dari seksaan api neraka, dikurniakan syurga dan kami kekal didalamnya.  

Happy 6th Anniversary to my darling hubby. Alhamdulillah dengan nikmat kasih sayang yang dianugerahkanNya.

Test Kaki dan Retail Therapy

Di bawah tapak kaki kanan ada bengkak right at the foot arch and smack in the middle of the foot. On the 12th day today. I can feel it when I walk. Last Friday it throbbed like nobody's business right after cooking. I can feel the pain right up to my shoulder and elbow. I soaked my feet with warm water and salt and it felt slightly better.

The next day I went shopping. Really wanted to see if my right foot throbbed again. It didn't. Sunday I went to career fair with one of the boys, letting him have a look and feel how looking for job looks like and what requirement most companies are looking for. It didn't throbbed and I later went for a massage in Klang.

Yesterday shopping again macam seseorang yang baru terlepas dari kurungan jer lagaknyer. Barang2 keperluan pun ada, barang2 kehendak pun ada. Cukup2 lah tu test kaki kononnya. Sebenarnya nak shopping tu yang lebih. Just nak nampak kelainan sikit pada rumah dengan tukar langsir and tambah accessories like gantung frame gambar and simple things like that. Bagi rumah nampak fresh sikit. And letting me do something different.

Kalau routine hari2 cuci baju, masak tu hari2 pun tak pernah habis. Masak pun menu biasa2 jer. Nak masak yang lain2 sket, lauk kat pasar tu macam takder yang menarik. Kalau harga mahal ikan nyer or udang nyer cantik takper jugak. Alhamdulillah dapat juga masak tak kisah lauk apa pun lepas berbulan2 makan lauk spital dan lauk beli.

Kemas rumah generally OK lah though still can be improved. Nak panggil cleaner pun dah rasa tak berbaloi sebab slowly kemas sikit2. Pokok2 kat taman pun mana yang dah kering kontang tak dapat diselamatkan lagi, cantas jer. Ada juga yang bertunas balik. Cantik jer daunnyer. So basically I'm starting to continue living, mengharapkan yang terbaik di dunia dan akhirat. Anakanda sentiasa dalam ingatan. Tabah lah hati melihat baby orang lain, tabahlah hati bila lalu dibahagian barangan bayi dan mainan. Tabah lah hati bila rindu. Focus on the eternal life in the hereafter.

Sibuk pulak dengan cerita mysterious disappearance of MH370. Hmm... buat waris2, letak lah harapan hanya pada yang Satu. SAR memang perlu diteruskan kerana ada kebarangkalian mereka masih hidup dan memerlukan bantuan. Namun sekiranya sejarah Air France berulang, redha dan focus on the hereafter. Cara itu dapat beri ketenangan, cara itu dapat beri harapan. Life must go on.

60 Days

Surah Al-Qasas, Ayat 24:

َرَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

Wahai Tuhanku, sesungguhnya aku ini fakir kepada apa sahaja kebaikan yang Engkau turunkan. 

Today is 60 days after delivery. I'm reading these books not because I'm still sad. I'm feeling much better. Encouraging words and shifting my focus on hereafter helps a lot. I read the books to maintain my focus. Many verses shared in the books is very calming. Many lessons from Allah's prophets helped me look at the bigger picture and putting things in perspective.

Friends have been calling and sending messages to ask how I'm doing and hoping I'm not left alone especially when hubby went to work. I'm fine Alhamdulillah. I'm touched by their concern. It has been difficult but I managed Alhamdulillah. Hubby has helped me cope whenever I'm down. Baby has given me strength to maintain my sanity and become a better Muslim so I can meet him in Jannah. Also with Allah's blessings I experience this calmness and strength. There were times when I'm still sad. But that moment will pass. This world we live in is just temporary. Our eternity will be in the hereafter.

I hope I will forever maintain my focus. Not just in this moment of great challenge. InsyaAllah.

Tanda Ini

Ini mungkin nostalgia yang mengerikan bagi sesetengah orang. Memori makan ubi kayu, memori duit pisang dan memori menyorok dalam ketakutan.

Ini mungkin juga satu tanda kebebasan bagi sesetengah orang. Memori bas kilang, memori pekerjaan, memori berjaya membantu keluarga.

Ia mungkin juga tanda cinta bagi sesetengah orang. Memori bunga sakura, memori gunung fuji, memori keindahan alam dan senibina.

Mungkin juga ia mengimbau nostalgia kehidupan mencari ilmu. Memori bertungkus lumus belajar dalam bahasa, makanan, cuaca dan budaya yang berbeza.

Ini mungkin juga tanda kesihatan buat sesetengah orang. Memori bukti kedewasaan dan hormon yang stabil.

Apa makna tanda ini buat anda?