Early birthday present...

The above is early birthday present from me... to me... yesterday. Alhamdulillah... after so many years, study break, 'missing' supervisor hehehe... the last few days have been zombie-like. Operate at maximum focus for single task. If only my eyeballs could pop-out from staring too long at the computer screen, it would. Dari lepas sahur straight sampai zohor. Short nap, solat and short rest, quickly cook for iftar, or reheat what's available and once went to hubby's company iftar. All the while focusing on my single goal.

I can't describe the feelings when I printed the documents on Sunday. Perasaan BEST only can be experienced after going through the ordeal. Alhamdulillah... TQ Allah. Hubby kata dah mcm buat PhD punya lama. Tak per lah. Baru bererti dan terasa susah payah kan. Walaupun banyak masa rileks dan ngelat jer... tu yang kena pulun last minute. Semoga dipermudahkan lepas ni. Baru nak cek. Belum setel sepenuhnya lagi.

Dah berangan2 nak buat permanent head damage program pulak hahaha... tapi usha2 nampak takder yang menarik output nyer. Yang penting ialah output kan. Macam yang ni hajat lain tapi supervisor yang wujud limited sangat. Dah nyer relevant juga lah dengan my training topics tapi harapan mula2 dulu lain. Masa tu belum tau lagi liku2 post grad camaner. Very idealistic lah kita ni. Apa2 pun it has been a great learning experience and wonderful friends met along the way.  

Malam Nuzul Qur'an

Antara menu2 minggu awal puasa...

Hajat hati nak masak di rumah, focus on Ramadhan activities and embrace Ramadhan like never before. Sigh! Kadang2 impian tak jadi kenyataan. Minggu kedua dah kena outstation 5 hari untuk urusan kerja tapi total number of days tinggalkan rumah ialah 10 days. Transit at hubby's hometown coz nearer to outstation location. MIL, FIL tak sihat. Two BILs warded. One confirmed dengue. Another one suspected dengue. Hopefully they'll get well soon. Ni dah masuk minggu ketiga. Macam2 di rancang untuk aktiviti Ramadhan haritu. Tidak semuanya kesampaian. My uni gave a call last week and giving a very tight deadline for my long overdue thesis. Hopefully semuanya berjalan lancar kerana kebetulan no more training sampai raya. Memang full focus on thesis. My supervisor pun tengah mark drafts and returning it to me in stages. Hubby pun tengah melayan tight deadline for two tender documents apart from existing work. Walaupun diharapkan kesemuanya berjalan lancar, ada juga yang tak berapa nak lancar.

Bila emosi dan rasional orang ni berbeza2, memang susah nak faham emosi dan tindakan orang yang nampak tak rasional pada kita. My rasional sangat senang... what works, what met the objectives, what's better in Allah's eyes. Contoh nya, tak perlu nak patuh pada sesiapa yang mungkin membuatkan kita mengundang kemurkaan Allah. Dan seperti yang selalu berlaku, doing what's right can be unpopular. What seems right to us may not seem right to others. Kita nampak benda tu senang takder apa2. Orang nampak perkara tu komplikated dan bagi reaksi luar jangkaan. 

Terkenang what I've written about marriage zaman single dulu2. Memang some of the points are true. Just that if marriage makes us closer to Allah, then do get married. Our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w has narrated that marriage completed half of the deen. There's profound wisdom in that. Sometimes as a wife, we do things only because of Allah. Even when you love someone, sometimes they make you mad, and sometimes they make you sad. Only because of Allah you do things or act in a certain way. It would be great when you do things because of Allah and because of the love for your husband. But if you choose to do things ONLY for the love of your husband, they may not love you one day. But if you do things because of Allah, Allah is Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim to his 'abd and will love us till Jannah.

Hopefully the knotted thread will unravel itself. Too many world issues requiring our doa now. Can't just focus on our problems. They're nothing compared to Rohingyas, Syrians and Palestinians issues.