About Happiness and Our Choice

Has this ever happened to you? You believe in your heart about something, you practiced it, lived it, breathe it and then you read about your life principles, your believe written by someone and you go "Aha! I've been doing that all my life, or since a certain event happen in my life". That's why sometimes we love books written by someone who didn't exactly share a rocket science theory or something new and innovating. You already know all the formula. You're just happy to be reading about it written articulately by someone who seems to take the words from your mouth.

This is one of it that I'm happy to read :)

ARE YOU HAPPY?

We are all searching for happiness. In achieving this happiness our attitude in life plays a crucial role.

After years of hard and dedicated service to his Company, Ahmed was being appointed at an elegant reception  as the new Director. It was a small function where his wife Fatimah, a Home Executive,  and  some of the wives of the other persons in top management were also present.

In an adjacent room, Ann, the wife of the CEO of the Company, asked Ahmed's wife a very odd an usual question; "Does your husband make you happy?"

The husband, Ahmed, who at that moment was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up slightly, feeling secure, even filling his chest lightly in pride and hope, knowing that his spouse was a role model Muslimah and would definitely not publically lower or degrade her husband, would answer affirmatively, since she had always been there for him during their marriage and generally in life. Nevertheless, to both his and the others' surprise, she replied simply;

"No, no he doesn't make me happy…"

The room became uncomfortably silent, as if everyone were listening to the spouse's response. There was a sudden coldness in the air. The husband was petrified. A frown appeared on his face. He couldn't believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him. To the amazement of her husband and of everyone!

Fatimah sat up firmly, moved her elegant black hijab in place, and explained in a modest but stern tone to the other wives who were present;

"No, he doesn't make me happy… I AM HAPPY. The fact that I am happy or not doesn't depend on him, but on me. Allah Ta'ala is Most Wise and has granted each of us intellect and discretion to reason, interpret and decide. Allah Ta'ala made me the person upon which my happiness depends. I make the choice to be happy in each situation and in each moment of my life. If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious trouble! Over my life I have learned a couple of things: I decide to be happy and the rest is a matter of 'experiences or circumstances;' like helping, and understanding, accepting, listening, consoling; and with my spouse, I have lived and practiced this many times. Honestly true happiness lies in being content"

Relieved and reassured, a smile was clearly noticed on Ahmed's face.

Moral:  Happiness will always be found in contentment, forgiveness and in loving yourself and others. To truly love is difficult, it is to forgive unconditionally, to live, to take the "experiences or circumstances" as they are, facing them together and being happy with conviction. There are those who say I cannot be happy:

·       Because I am sick.
·       Because I have no money.
·       Because it's too cold.
·       Because they insulted me.
·       Because someone stopped loving me.
·       Because someone didn't appreciate me.

But what you don't know is that you can be happy even though you are sick, whether it is too hot, whether you have money or not, whether someone has insulted you, or someone didn't love you, or hasn't valued you.

The Noble Messenger of Allah Ta'ala is reported to have said: "The happiness of the son of Adam depends on his being content with what Allah has decreed for him… the misery of the son of Adam results from his discontent with what Allah has decreed for him." (Hadith- Tirmidhi)

Being Happy is an attitude about life and each one of us must decide!

Being Happy, depends on you!

I also believe that "happiness shared is doubled, sadness shared is halved". Hence, our spouse plays an important role in our emotional state. Once I was so sad with the way someone who used to be a good friend belittle the lost of my baby. She has turned to become like a stranger and I'm perplexed how heartless can someone be. Even strangers share my sorrow, here someone who used to be my best friend showed a different side of her. I tried to contain my feelings. I feel sorry for her that whatever happened in her life has changed her to become this heartless person. But I'm human after all. I woke up the next morning remembering her heartless remarks. While I tried to reason and rationalise with myself to let it be, it didn't do me much good till I shared the story with hubby, shed a few tears and then I felt so much better. Hubby console me almost using the exact points that I tried to reason and rationalise with myself but hearing it from him, with a hug and advice makes me feel so much better. That is like one of the most beautiful experience for me because the relief that I felt is almost instantaneous while before I almost felt like bursting with anger.

I believe we can choose to be happy no matter what the circumstances. There may be times when we're down. We ARE human after all. But after a while we can choose to make ourselves happy. We will bounce faster and quicker if we choose to be happy in this temporary place... this world. Eternal happiness can only be found in the hereafter.

The question now is how do we make other people realise this important life survival guide i.e we can choose to be happy. Whatever the situation, lay down the facts of the circumstances or events, what action can be taken (include plan and contingency plan), what is within our control and beyond our control... redha and leave it to Allah. Follow the flow. If it has be ordained that we're supposed to be here, experiencing this sadness or worry or disappointment, then this must be something good for us. Barakah in our patience, hikmah in our perseverance, and nikmah when we realise Allah knows better what is best for us.