Not Taking Sides

I've read a wise saying about not taking sides quite some time ago. I've forgotten the exact words but it goes something like this...

"If both your friends are having an argument, do not take sides or you'll loose a friend."

I've tried to follow this sayings most of the time. Unless I witness the wrongdoings where I can make my own judgment, I'll try not to take sides.

When I was studying, each room in the girl's hostel has 4 partitions. I remember a room where three of its occupant has something against one other occupant for reasons unknown to me. Most friends would visit either the three people or the one person but not both. However, I would waltz into their room saying hi to all.

I did not become close to any one of them. They're probably suspicious I would report what's being said to the other side. Not that I care much about not being accepted. At least I did not make any enemies.

My respect also goes to some friends who did not take side when I have issues with someone. Normally we girls would like to talk it out with someone. I remember one of my friends lends me her ears, murmuring all the right words but never talk bad about the person I'm having some issue with. There are some people who likes to be a 'batu api' with both sides, having some pervert sense of pleasure seeing two people having an argument.

There is an extension to the sayings above.

"If two strangers have a disagreement, you may take sides and gain a friend"

I don't exactly agree with this one. If we can be a mediator between the two, why not be one and we may get two friends. Who knows if the three people would become the best of friends :) Even if we did not choose to be a mediator, why choose to make an enemy?

Anyway, we should also choose which battle we want to get involved in. If we want to become Cik Sri Siantan to everyone having problems in this world, we'd run out energy. I've tried being one before and it gets very tiring. It drains me physically and emotionally because some people will happily remain a**holes, refusing to put themselves in the other person's shoe.

This is a just a note to myself and some who shares the logic in the argument. We're faced with such decisions in many situations. Even in the blogging world, much to my disappointment.

I remember one such incident even when I was only a blog reader back then. I'd rather not mention it. Since it has continued happening, like it or not, we just have to accept it as the norm where many people are put in a group, even if it is just a virtual one. Whether you want to be a passive observer, a mediator or take sides, the choice is yours.