Thinking Of You

I miss someone so much lately. He could be an important part of my life once but I choose not to let it happen. I thought I was doing the right thing for my sake but now I'm not sure of my own reasoning anymore. He's been out of my life for months and I was fine. I thought about him once in a while but not like this. It has been weeks and I can't stop thinking about him. I really can't explain it but I'll try. Sometimes a song, or a smell of food, or an atmosphere of a place can trigger some memories. In my case, when I remembered some thing, I'm reminded of him. But the things that trigger my feelings can be any thing. And anything really means any thing. Not limited to the things that we've done together.

The mysterious thing is, I haven't really been thinking about him for months and now suddenly, out of the blue, I can't get him out of my head. A friend suggested the 'mandrem' thing but I'm still sane so I'm gonna rule that out. By 'sane' I mean I haven't contacted him yet and haven't thrown myself at his feet. Another friend suggested that probably I thought of him so much because he's thinking of me too. That sounded much better but even though that's sweet, I don't really believe it either. Imagine you like someone and kept thinking of him or her and that feeling is not reciprocated because he/she have no idea of how you felt, so even though you're thinking of them and hoping that they're thinking of you but they didn't right! Sigh!

I'm still thinking of what I should do with this feelings. I've been busy. I still am. I have four training classes to conduct this month and I don't have the luxury of missing someone. I need all the time I can get to prepare my materials. Then what am I doing writing this entry huh. Another sigh!