I've been blogging very sparsely lately. Partly because I've been busy with trainings... what's new eh! And partly because I've been on emotional roller coaster rides these past few months... too personal, too heart wrenching and life changing I don't know how to open up and share. At least, not in my blog. Not yet. I felt like I have to protect and respect someone's feelings. I felt like people wouldn't understand and won't take my stories kindly. It has been quite difficult to detach oneself from feelings and emotions when writing as that would make me feel disconnected from my blog. I ended up not doing very much writing and when I do, the entries have no soul in it. I can't let my blog become soul-less much longer.
Not that I changed my mind about protecting and respecting someone's feelings. I still do. But, I also don't want to feel guilty or apologetic about my feelings. I'm human and I have feelings. Acknowledge it. Despite trying to be inconspicuous, despite trying to take care of people's feelings, some would still try to find fault and believe I have ill-feelings or hidden agenda. I don't. With me, WYSIWYG. Stop finding things that are not there. From now on, I will write when I have stories to tell. My difficult life journey has begun.
Sunflower gives the connotation of cheerfulness, bright, jolly, merry... you get the idea! However, if any content in this blog didn't fit the cheerfulness implied by its name, look at it this way... I'm putting down all the wretchedness, gloom, melancholy feeling in here so I can continue living up to the expectation of making the association to the sunflower.
No comments:
Post a Comment