Happy New Year 2011

Time flies so fast. It is now the third year I'm freelancing and I have already completed the first semester of my Master's program. In March, we'll celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary, going on to 4th year of marriage. We'll be moving to another house soon. Hopefully, the house will be the spot where we'll settle down till retirement age. Hubby has a plan to settle down in his hometown very much later in our life. I don't mind wherever that may be... as long as we're happy :)

As for my freelancing performance, it has been a decline of revenue by 15k in 2010 and 10 days short from 2009 where I have 61 training days. In 2010, I have more lower paying training job but I have more clients and different topics for training experience. Which means, I also have to spend more time to prepare for the material. In 2009, I have a project for unemployed graduates and the training topics were all the same. This year, I already have 4 training days already booked in January. I hope it will be a good year. I'm not pushing too hard though since I don't want to sacrifice my study for work. I have a choice to have more free time... that's why I choose freelancing.

For my 1st semester, I was really worried about my statistics paper. The group research did not turn out too well. I wasn't very confident with my final exam but thank God I did well. A- for my statistics and an A for my cross cultural psychology paper where I have more confident in the final exam. I believe my statistics Prof has been quite lenient since we don't have any statistics background. But he told us he really can't help two of the final year students no matter how hard he tried. So they have to repeat the paper again and they have to wait for when it's offered.

I hope I will never have to go through that experience. Unlike when I was an undergrad where a consistent B+ will ensure a Dean's List... for post grad, I really have to try to score as much as I can. I now have the working experience and as a trainer, a better way of learning new things. If later in the semester, I have to struggle with work demand or God knows what, the CGPA from my earlier semesters can be a buffer. So there is not really an excuse not to do my best when I can now.

Yesterday, as I was watching CSI reruns, a phrase stuck in my mind. "Belief in the best version of yourself". I really like that. There were time when we were down, when we were up, when we were our best, when we were not... just belief in the best version of ourself. That we are good enough, that we are capable and able. Am I worried about the future? Some people are worried about not having a steady income, not having EPF, not having a steady job...

I do worry... but not too much. I belief God has things planned for us and make available the resources we can use to go on with our life. Whatever challenges He throw at us, I hope we'll be strong enough and calm enough to go through it. Why this train of thought? A dear friend is going through a difficult phase in her life. I tried to be there for her as much as I could. That also make me realize we're here in this world to be tested. As long as we're strong as a family, as a big family, I believe we can go through anything. In her case, her family shuns her in her quest for happiness. I can understand her feelings. I've been in her shoes. I have my own family now and their emotional support really means a lot to me.

As for work and survival, rezeki comes from Him. I'm not tied down like some people who worry why they did not get promotion, why they did not get a raise, why their employer did not notice them and feel as if there is nothing much that they can do. I conducted a leadership training once and some participants confided all these fear. When I kept repeating that rezeki comes from Allah, not their boss who do not want to promote them, not the Board who chose a person who speaks better English during promotion interview, some get it, some gets cynical about it. I'm thankful for my skill and ability to train and for the 'rezeki' that comes from Him. For all the good things that come my way, I hope I'll be strong enough to face difficulties and calamities.

With that thought, Happy New Year 2011...