The 5th Week

Maybe the dizziness I experienced in the beginning of this month is not related to the ones I'm feeling now. Maybe it does. Only God knows. Few days ago I felt dizzy with a vengeance. It was so strong it got me really worried. I have 3 training days so far and it was a real challenge when dizziness strikes as most of the time I was on my feet. If it's not low BP, not due to sugar level, I might have to do lots of tests as the doctor suggested last time. Furthermore, I have not been eating right and on time. I'll normally get headache when I don't eat on time. But that was headache... not dizzy.

Then, I started to feel pain just like when the milk factory was preparing themselves the last time I was pregnant. I dare not hope as I was expecting my period in a few days time. Maybe it was one of the PMS symptoms. Then there's some light spotting few days before period. I was confused and started counting the days again. I know eversince my miscarriage last time the timing was off but few days early? The possibility of implantation bleeding did cross my mind but after about a year since last miscarriage where disappointments after disappointments when japanese army comes for a visit (hehehe... how's that for dramatic effect?)... I stopped hoping and only stick with facts especially when it comes to my bodily functions. Yup... even with the frequent urination, I'm not whipping out that pregnancy test till I missed my period. There's a pregnancy book at MPH that I thought could be a good buy... but stopped myself before I bought it. What am I going to do with it if I'm not pregnant? It will just be a painful reminder.

THE day came and went. Nothing! The next day I scrambled around looking for my pregnancy test. I knew I have one stashed somewhere but I couldn't find it. I go through my drawers twice. Sigh! Where on earth was it hiding? I can't keep up with the suspense any longer and drove to the nearest Guardian. I did the test. Initially I didn't see anything but the second line started to appear more and more prominent after about a minute. That is a fact! And I can't stop smiling. There's a feeling of quiet confidence in me that says, this is it! this will be it! But the rational me is still kinda apprehensive. It is still in its critical stage. The last time it lasted around 6 weeks. I'm just in the 5th week now. Everyday that goes by without bleeding or severe cramping is a blessing and victory for the little one :)

I don't mind the dizziness so much now. Hubby insisted I took some milk like Anmum or Enfamama or whatever as long as it gives extra nutrients to my body. I can't say No to that eventhough the thought of 'milk' doesn't really excite me. That night we went out to buy the milk and I saw they got chocolate flavor. Hahaha... lucky me. That should taste better. The next morning hubby reminded me to drink the milk. It didn't taste that bad. And surprise, surprise, I didn't feel as dizzy as before. So probably my body nutrients is passing to baby at a high rate. Hence, the dizziness. So the milk has helped. And I will be counting our victory days one day at a time. I need all the prayers I can get... may we have a healthy, happy baby who will be a sweetheart to ummi and ayah in the world and hereafter. So here begins our journey...