Syukur

Dah 2-3 hari entri ni tersimpan dan tak sempat disiapkan. Today, hopefully it will finally gets published.

Baru saja menonton petikan ceramah Dr Asri di YouTube. Laa Tahzan, innallaha ma'ana.... jadilah insan yang bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada. Bukan tidak boleh mengharapkan apa yang kita tiada... tetapi janganlah lupa bersyukur dengan nikmat yang kita ada. Jangan bila dah tiada kaki, baru terasa nikmat dapat berpijak di atas bumi. Fikirlah dari saat kita lahir, hingga sekarang ini, betapa banyak nikmat yang perlu kita syukuri. Ada cendikiawan yang berkata, tingkat mereka yang bersyukur lebih tinggi dari orang yang bersabar. Kerana ramai orang perlu bersabar dengan sesuatu keadaan yang susah, dan mereka tiada pilihan melainkan bersabar. Tetapi tidak ramai yang bersyukur dengan kesenangan yang mereka kecapi.

People often say motivation doesn't last. Well, so does bathing. That's why we do it daily. -ZigZaglar-

Samalah juga dengan iman. Perlu sentiasa disuburkan dengan tazkirah, ceramah dan peringatan2. Harap2 I will always be among His humble servant who frequently say 'Alhamdulillah'. Memang banyak perkara yang perlu disyukuri dalam hidup ini. Banyak juga petunjuk kebesaranNya yang menjadikan sesuatu mengikut kehendakNya. Namun, ada juga perkara yang kuharapkan... seperti seorang cahaya mata... untuk menghiasi keluarga kami, yang masih belum diizinkanNya.

Isnin lepas, berjumpa my gynae for follow up session and she recommended Chlomid. I was kinda excited with the possibility. It was all very clinical, time measured, technical steps to ensure baby is conceived. But then, I'll be conducting a whole week training next week and can't go to the clinic for an injection. My gynae said I could still do without the injection but the timing must be right, which could pose a problem considering the timing of my ovulation time. Anyhow, I'd give it a go. We'll settle issues the best way we can. After taking the tablets at night, I have a mild allergic reaction the next afternoon. I tried again the second time... my eyes swell again. I read up about Chlomid and allergic reaction, and the general consensus was to stop immediately if any allergic reaction occur. Normally my allergic reaction would be really bad. I'd consider this reaction very mild. But prolonged doses could increase the risk. Should I stop or continue? Then hubby break the news he has to 'balik sana' early next week. I was devastated. I mean... of all the time, this could be our only chance.

I stopped myself before I get very emotional. It is all in His will. Kun fa yakun... The youtube video watched earlier calmed me down too. Astaghfirullahalazim.. I've had so many blessings and experienced many things that shows His power. 'La ilaha illa anta, subhanaka, inni kuntu minaz-zalimin'. Jika kita rasa kekurangan sesuatu, perhatikanlah apakah pula kelebihan yang kita ada. Jika kita rasa kita tidak dapat apa yang kita inginkan, perhatikanlah apa yang kita dah diberikan. I'm blessed with the love from people around me, I've spent many tender loving moments with hubby, and I've a job that some people envy. Alhamdulillah... I'll still be praying for a baby, but I'll not let this setback upset me too much. Dia lebih tahu apa yang terbaik untuk hambaNya.

I remember once I blogged about how difficult it is to sit down at home and have lunch together with hubby when I was working full time. Now, we have many of that moments together either with tapau or home cooked meals. Last time, we waited for public holiday that falls on weekdays to spend time together doing things that people normally do on holidays. Nowadays, we have many free time when I have no training and hubby's not busy. I appreciate our movie nights, jalan2 and cuddling moments that we share. I've make some lifestyle changes to enjoy what matters to me most and I'll keep counting my blessings throughout my life insyaAllah.