Here's my story with older and really old man. I wanted to respect them because of the age differences, but sometimes I just wonder whether they are as they appear to be.
While waiting for my SPM result, I worked at a shop near my place and had an admirer that freaked me out. Let's call him A. A always come to make some photocopy of verses that looks like from the Qur'an or some religious books. Parents and friends have always warned not to read just any Arabic text if we do not understand the meaning fearing it could be some spell to make you fell in love with someone or hate someone or 'pukau' or make you mad or something. Sounds scary isn't it. So when A gave me the copies of the verses, I would decline but he'll really insist that I can't do anything but accept. He tried to explain the hikmah of the verses, etc. and I pretend to listen while trying to avoid making any eye contact with him. I can't remember what I did with the copies he gave me. Probably throw or burnt them but I'm sure I never read any of them.
All the other salesgirls tried to help me too. Whenever he came, whoever notices he's coming will alert me, other girls will attend to him and I pretend to be busy near the store or at the back of the shop. But he will still come to look for me and gave me an extra copy of the verses he made.
Few weeks after that, A talked to my boss, asking about me. Iyyeewww... he looks so old to a 17 year old girl who never thought marriage is an option until I go to the university. Well... not that old lah. Probably mid 20s and so ready to get married and settle down. My boss relates everything to me afterwards. He told A that I'm a boarding school student so he expect I'll get a good SPM result and will further my studies. Better don't 'kacau' me. I'm so thankful to my boss and finally A stopped giving me 'the look' that makes me so uncomfortable but he still make extra copies of the verses for me.
I told my mom about the incident and suggested maybe I should wear a ring so people will wonder about my status before making any advances. My mom freaked out too and immediately gave me one of her rings to wear. Later, she bought me another one. She has this idea that unattached girls shouldn't wear any ring or men will think they're married and not approach them. I kept telling her a ring is not a good indication of one's marriage status. But in this case, I'm really desperate.
Then there is this one supplier who will stop by to chit chat with the salesgirls whenever he send something to the shop. He is not as intimidating as A. I'll name him B. B jokes around and chat with all the girls so I did not suspect anything until he turned up at my house on Raya month. It was late afternoon and I was taking an afternoon nap when he came. This time it was my mom who told him I'm still studying and is not looking for any serious relationship. I went out to chat with him for a while. It was awkward. Later I have a tough time explaining to my mom that I never invited him to come over.
B also looks like he's in mid 20s. I never knew B's real intention of coming over to my house. If he came as a friend, he will surely wonder "why lah this makcik thinks I want to marry her daughter". Well, I think better safe than sorry. At that time, any guys who is working and looks like they're interested in relationship of any kind will freak me out. A boyfriend who is still studying is fine because they'll not be thinking about marriage yet right! Not that I have any. Anyway, that's the story of me with older guys who are probably ready to settle down and have few kids. They freaked me out.
Stay tuned for more stories....
Sunflower gives the connotation of cheerfulness, bright, jolly, merry... you get the idea! However, if any content in this blog didn't fit the cheerfulness implied by its name, look at it this way... I'm putting down all the wretchedness, gloom, melancholy feeling in here so I can continue living up to the expectation of making the association to the sunflower.
3 comments:
There are human beings on the face of this earth who do not know what love means, or companionship, who do not have parents, who do not have sisters or brothers, who understand an isolation that is bleak and cold, even if it is of their own making.
Each of you who have the opportunity to share with another, then know that is GRACE, and be thankful for that which you experience, and do not underestimate what you have.
There are personalities who have traveled through the centuries, literally, without such an understanding. And if this was their reality, and if it was their making, still be glad that it is not yours, and accept those relationships that you now have, and realize their potential and do not close yourselves off through stupid pride and through barriers of your own making.
We can know each other in each life for a brief time only. What joy and comfort you can give, then give. What support you can render, render. Do you realize that by doing this you become more than you think you are?
hmm..sure you look mature than your age, if that's the reason these old (20s?) show interest? or..these ppl, suka pucuk muda? ;)
hi annonymous,
i think you're romanticising love and relationship without looking at it in a bigger context. whatever you said, is true in a way.
some people do have serious relationship and get married at 17. call it stupid pride or putting barriers, but that is not an option to me and some people for many reasons. i won't let anybody tell me or anyone else they're making a mistake for pursuing ones education, putting responsibility to family as more important than pursuing a relationship.
if the relationship/marriage did not work then what? not everyone can take the responsibility of a wife, mother, student and daughter all at the same time. what if the husband requested the wife to stop studying? maybe the husband can be supportive too but we'll never know right? i can go on and on with the questions but you get the idea.
relationship and marriage is hard for adult, what more to a 17 year old.
puteri, i think its the latter hehehe...
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