Childhood Dream

Do you have your life mapped out? In five years time you're gonna be this, own that and do this, this and that? Some people told me they do. Complete with paper work!

I don't! I have short term goals and a very generalized long term goal but other than that I pretty much take life one day at a time. Being single, I don't have to worry about children's education and things like that. And thinking about it, I surprised myself that I don't have dreams anymore. Only interests. Whatever interests me, I will pursue. I'm not sure whether it's good or bad. But lucky me, many things look interesting to me. So at least life will never become dull.

My friend always tells me of her little boy's imaginary future. The first time he was asked about girlfriend, he said he's not going to have a girlfriend and get married. Now he has changed his mind. He's gonna be slim and become a pilot. He'll have a wife who'll be wearing a green tudung and would wear flowery baju kurung during Hari Raya. His mom will be old by then and will be called grandma. She will have to help him look after his daughter. His uncle abah would stay at home watching TV and his mom will have to cook for uncle abah when he's hungry. Isn't it cute? This nice perfect picture he imagined his future will be :)

I think having childhood dreams like this should be encouraged. For all we know, it's gonna happen. I HAVE lived my childhood dreams.

When I was just a little girl, my dreams consist of pictures painted by my mom and through observations. My mom always tells me stories that if I'm good in my studies, I can go and study at a boarding school. I'll learn to live on my own and I'll have many friends. I would have to cook by myself, wash my own clothes and do everything on my own. Probably it's due to my independent streak that the idea really appeals to the little girl and she tells herself one day she's going to study at a boarding school.

The story did not stop there. After boarding school comes university. She has no idea how important this university is but because mom tells her so, that is probably where she should go when she grew up. Mom never said anything about the course she should take though. So she did not have any fix idea that she should become a doctor or lawyer.

On merdeka day, she would be glued in front of the TV watching the Merdeka Parade. To the little girl, the parade looks so interesting with the marching band and people in costumes and nice clothes waving flags. So she thought one day when she grew up, she'll be involved in the Merdeka Parade.

She is very fortunate that she get to go to a boarding school and while she was there, join the school band. She realized her dreams of becoming part of the Merdeka Parade several times. And then, comes the university. Probably because mom forgot to tell her about the course she should take, she had a tough time deciding on which course to take. Her interests are many. Finally it came to which offer was given to her, that's the one she'll take :)

Unfortunately, she did not remember having any dreams about what happens after university. Where should she work? How will the company look like? Will she be rich? How is the person she's going to marry? When will she marry? How many kids she's gonna have?

Seeing the trends that I've realized my childhood dreams, I wonder now if I have dreamt about all of the above, probably life would be simpler and I'll know how my future will be. But since I haven't, dreamt about the above questions that is, I should start considering my life plan right now.

*close eyes and try to imagine the life she wants after 5 years, 10 years, etc., etc., etc.*

Hmmm... can't see any picture beyond the walls of my apartment lah. Sigh! I probably need to practice on this and do some very, very deep soul searching. Another sigh! On second thought, probably she should just aim to finish the two projects she's currently handling and go on a much deserved holiday :)