We Are In Control Of Our Action

I read one very powerful statement in puteri's blog.

"...I can't decide when to fall in love, but I can decide on how to act on it..."

That is a very wise statement indeed. Actually, we ARE in control of our actions. In many situations, people choose to ignore the fact that they are actually in control of their actions. Maybe it is easier to put the blame on someone or something else rather than pointing the fingers back to us.

If you hit your wife/girlfriend and give excuses like you're so mad things went out of control, you're lying. You CAN control your actions. Admit that you're an abusive person and needs psychological help. No matter how bad your background is, not everyone who has been abused becomes abusive themselves. Many decided to be a better person and take control of their actions that will lead them to be a better person.

If you have certain urges, you CAN control how to deal with it and not blame that 'urges' when you ended up raping a stranger or someone you know or even family members. If you think you can't control it, think of the consequences. Do you want to hurt other people? One action of yours can affect someone's life and future? It can affect yours too. Visualize the prison and the cane. That way, maybe you can think of a better way to handle it.

If you fell in love with someone who is married, you can choose to not take any actions on your feelings. Love doesn't have to end with marriage. Many in the past have sacrificed love for a bigger cause. Why not sacrifice our feelings for the sake of one family? We can fall in love with someone else in the future. Maybe someone better whom we will not feel guilty for being together with him/her.

The same goes if you're married, have kids and fall for someone else. Feelings are like a plant that needs nurturing and tender loving care. If you don't care for it, the plant will die. Similarly, if you choose not to act on your feelings, the love will die. How sure are you its love and not lust anyway? If you did not give tender loving care to your family, if you choose not to take any action to keep your family together, it'll break apart. Your spouse becomes a stranger and your kids did not respect you. The outcome lies in your hands.

We can also control how we deal with things in our daily lives. Of course I can wake up early ;) but I choose my comfy bed. I'm in control. See! I can also control how I react to other drivers on the road, but I choose to let out several expletives. It's very satisfying that way :) I'm not endangering anybody anyway right? It is empowering to know that we can control all our actions. If we're nice, that means we choose to be nice. And if we're not, we have decided to become that person too. So no more pointing finger at others or blaming something but ourselves.

I have also discovered I have 'hate' fans. I wonder what they want. As far as I remember, I have always been minding my own business. If someone feels they 'hate' me, there is nothing I can do. If they want me to improve myself, if I have done or write something hurtful, they're not going to get any result just by declaring their feelings as an anonymous. I'll choose to ignore such remarks from now on. To my 'hate fans, you are in control of how you express yourself. So express yourself wisely or you'll just be ignored like a speck of dust. There are many in this virtual world isn't it?