Are You Single and Bored?

It's too late to talk about my weekend but I'm going to talk about it anyway since my weekend activity lead me to think about this issue. I met an ex school mate on Saturday afternoon for a drink and chit chat, went shopping with my univ friend on Sunday and then met my brother to go notebook hunting. The weekend before that I went to PD and the weekend before PD a friend came to overnight at my place. My other weekend activities would include going back to my mom's place, getting a massage, family gathering at my place, bowling or lazing around the apartment when I did not feel like going out.

My ex school mate asked what did I do during weekend. Didn't I get bored? By the way, she's happily married with two daughters so I forgive her for thinking single ladies over the age of 30 lead a boring life. It also didn't help her in forming a correct impression of the singles' lifestyle when one of her single colleague always whines about not having anything to do but sleep and watch TV during weekend. He thought getting married will solve his 'boring' problem. I beg to differ.

I've read somewhere, if you're boring or bored before you're married, getting hitched will not make you or your life interesting... or, something that sounds like that. I hate it when I couldn't find the original source because I remember the concept and the general idea, but not the exact wordings and it may not sound right when I use my own words. But at least you get the general idea so you just have to trust me on this. I agree with the sayings completely. Not to say I'm an interesting person but I did not want to look back at my life and see someone who did not make any difference whatsoever with her existence in this world by not contributing anything to anyone, even to herself. So far, I can say I've led a relatively interesting single life.

I like to do things but being a woman I have to be careful with the activities I want to do. My mom would shake her head at some of the things I did, I would argue with her over some of the things I want to do or already did, and even though I pretty much do anything I want as long as I think it's safe, I'm still careful. I'm not going to let mom said "I told you so". In this regard, sometimes I wish I'm a man so I can do things that I have to think many times before doing because I'm a woman and it's not safe. But here, my friend's male colleague whines about being single and bored. I also knew a guy, let's call him John Doe (JD for short), who pretty much whines about the same thing. He's a dear friend but sometimes I'm surprised with his thought process. Hello?? What is happening to single guys out there?

There are so many things you can do! Contribute your time to an orphanage, join an environmental organization if you're keen on the environment, take up a hobby, any hobby, and join related club so you can share hobbies with people of similar interest, gather a few friends for any games or outing, anything lah. But YOU have to do something about it. At one time, JD kinda latched himself onto me because I manage to think of activities to do during weekend. I'm not sure whether it's interesting to him but at least he got something to do rather than stay at home and watch TV. I appreciate his company because having him around put me on a notch higher on the security scale. Not to say I trust he can do silat or kuntau if we're surrounded by thugs but at least, one of us can scream our lungs out or run to get help.

But after some time I think I have too much of JD in my system. One weekend I told him I need female companionship. He tried his best to convince me he can be as good as any female for companionship but I told him I need a 'real' female companionship. Don't get me wrong, he's very straight and I'm straight but we can just be friends. We still are very good friends. And I really need female companionship. I think only female understands this. Talking to a female and a male is different, no matter how understanding he appears to be. Anyway, that is a different issue. After that, I still include him in some of my activities if it is appropriate but at other times, he has to entertain himself. I've reached a level where I'm lazy to think and plan for any activities because almost every time, I'm the only one who plans. I love to plan things and I'm quite good at it but after some time, I got tired of it too because I feel as if everyone expected me to plan interesting activities for one weekend after another.

My friends did tease me with JD but I always tell them we can just be good friends. Our personality clashes. They said probably I didn't see how JD and I complement each other. I told them no way or I'll be a bad nagging wife and will not enter the Paradise for that. Anyway, now I know JD is not the only male who has this 'boring' syndrome. Whenever he whines, I become practical and suggest things he can do with his weekend, his defense will be I'm different because I'm a female. Duh! *slaps forehead* Here I think being a man, you can do many more things as compared to me and he said I can do all the things I do because I'm a woman?? Is this a classic case of the grass is always greener on the other side?

Anyway, I'm writing about this to remind us that WE have to take charge of our life. If we want to make it boring, don't do anything but sit in front of the TV every weekend. No wonder I can't meet eligible single guys out there if the few male sample I met or know represents what the majority of single male population do on weekends hahaha... If we want life to be interesting, WE have to make it interesting and not depend on other people or circumstances. JD did take some of my advice whether he wants to admit it or not by joining paint ball game, futsal and few other activities when I did not include him in mine. That is a good start for him.

This personality clash is not to be taken lightly. Just imagine you like outdoor activities and you ended up with a guy whose idea of outdoor activities is watching it on TV or you like eating out and experiment with food while he only wants to stay at home and have home cooked meal or you're adventurous and he's not. I can only see disaster waiting to happen. This might not be the reason for a volcanic eruption but it might contribute bit by bit, and combined with other factors, will be a recipe for a catastrophe.

So you see, if you're boring or bored when you're single, getting married will not solve your problem. In order to avoid personality clashes, you should find someone who shares your interest. If you're a couch potato and you find another couch potato to marry, come weekend they'll be two people fighting for the right on the couch to be the ultimate couch potato. If you think that adds a bit more spice to your life, I have no problem with that. If you think you can now alternately stare at the TV and your spouse for the extra spice in your life, I have no problem with that too. But if that picture did not sound 'interesting' to you, you better do something about it. Start with yourself.

Surround yourself with different type of people, get a hobby, develop an interest or two. Life will get more interesting and you'll probably meet more interesting people. Did I sound like some motivational guru already? I better stop here then. But before I really end, do get out and find interesting things to do.

Extra Notes:
If you're boring – you are an uninteresting person
If you're bored – you could be interesting but sometime unable to find activities that interests you

So are you boring or bored? Either one, YOU have to do something about it.