Partially Relieved

Alhamdulillah... I'm partially relieved after completing presentation for both my HF and IOK subjects today. However, I have to appeal to both lecturers to allow me more time to submit my research report and research proposal. Again, Alhamdulillah because both has given their consent. Which means I have 3 assignments to submit this week. Sigh! 2 from last week and 1 originally due end of this week. Arrrgghhh.... Anyway, that should give me better hope for better results. Amiiinnn...

Both the presentations were nerve wrecking. We draw lots to determine who goes in which order and both times my name was the last. That means I have to sit through others' presentations that looked so much better than mine. Their data looks good, their flow looks convincing and their references were impressive. I have huge inferiority complex there especially considering the rest have background in statistics and psychology and I don't. It was on the tip of my tongue to appeal my case to the lecturers and ask for some allowances in the marking due to my different background but I hold by the rules of presentation, never show your fear, never point out your weakness and never highight your mistake. So that's what I did. Take a deep breath, just go through the slides. One after another. There were some points where I almost faltered and thought these thing I'm presenting can't be good at all, looks like it was incomplete (not like what others had done), and so simple it could be boring to others but I managed to complete nonetheless. What a huge relief after it was over.

During the Q&A on the first presentation, a classmate pointed out to some of my slides that didn't look right. She has good background in research and is very precise and methodical in her report as well as presentation. I explained and she doesn't look convinced but did not want to push further so as not to put me in hot soup. I can see that clearly in her face. I am sure if she's marking my research, there would be no chance I would survive. Then, my lecturer came to the rescue. It seemed what I did was clear to him and I may not have written it down explicitly on my presentation but it was OK. Pheewwww!!! Again, I'm very relieved. Thank God there's no Q&A for the second presentation.

In the end, all our presentation marks were almost similar +/- 0.5 to 1 points. I can't believe it! My first presentation scored the highest mark. Really??? I'm having a mental image of me gaping in disbelieve. Probably my classmates do to. I scored the second highest in my second presentation. These presentations weightage on our overall marks were only 15% and 20% but they were a huge morale booster. Now I can complete my HF presentation confidently as I know I'm on the right track. I also learnt a lot today that will help me in future research projects. Alhamdulillah...

Previously, frustrated that I have to find references for every single idea I want to put in my research, I almost feel like screaming, "who cares about who said what decades ago!!! this is what I'm saying now!" Heh... I still have that feeling when writing research papers but I felt better today. At least all that effort of sleeping in front of my laptop in the living hall at 3 a.m. for few days paid off. Next step, gather my thoughts and complete the report. Chaiiyyookk!!! :)