Feeling The Negative Energy

Sometimes, without any reason, we'll feel someone did not like us, or things are not the way it used to be, or someone is queer or has a bad intention on us. How do we react? Do we dismiss the thought thinking we're just being irrational or hallucinating or it's only in our mind? Most motivational books or speakers will tell us to banish all negative thoughts from our mind. It is unproductive and will not get us anywhere. Positive thinking is the way to go for a happier and fulfilling life. I really take it to heart. That is how I've lead my life until a few months ago. My motto in life is "don't do unto people what you don't want people to do unto you". So since I haven't done anything wrong to people (at least intentionally), there is no way people will do bad things to me. I'm a good listener, very discreet and trustworthy with personal secrets. I still am. But something happens to make me review at how I look at life. This is not Utopia. People have personal interest even if we don't.



This is the thought turning event in my life. I have a friend. Well, I thought she's a friend. There are several instances when we met among group of friends that she'll put on her sour face. Instead of thinking up hundreds of possibilities why a friend puts on a dour face, I'll just dismiss it, thinking maybe she's in one of her moods or something bad happen at the office or something. Whatever it is, it has got nothing to do with me of course. How could it be? I haven't done anything wrong to her. Or so I thought. It so happen that she hated me with all her being because of my relationship with a mutual friend, lets name the person X. She's close to X and I'm close to X but we're not exactly very close to each other. I'm OK with the relationship since there may be some things that X is more comfortable talking with her and some things which X prefers to talk to me. And despite having X as a mutual friend, we just don't hit it off with each other. It's normal and very natural in friendship.



However, whenever she has any problem with X, she'll think I told X some bad things about her. In other words, she's blaming me for all her problems with X and I don't even have a clue. She's not satisfied just blaming me; she'll spread her stories to all our friends, bitching about me behind my back. I don't know how to react to my friend's behavior. Not even one speaks a word to me about it. I assume they're thinking of just being the sounding board to her and then forget all about it. It's not their problem anyway. Since I have no clue, I'll be my chirpy self all the time despite her sullenness and she has no choice but to respond to me as if we're OK with each other. This strengthens my believe that she's just in one of her moods. And we live this farce for several months until she has a BIG argument with X, and openly accused me of so many things. I'm perplexed. No one can imagine the hurt I'm feeling. To add salt to the wound, several mutual friends started telling me of all the things she have said behind my back.



So this is what happens when we ignore the negative thought and energy we're feeling. The hatred she feels for me is so strong that I can feel the negative energy vibrating from her. My mind forms question marks many times due to her action but I dismissed them as quickly just as it emerges. Suddenly I feel very naive. How can I think everything is fine when I've received signals that they're not? I am not sure how I've survive living in this world for so long with such naivety. It is mind boggling to me but I've survived. I've learned a very important lesson in the process. Listen to Feel the energy we receive from our surroundings. Sometimes a place makes us feel creepy. Sometimes someone has a way of looking at us that makes us feel uncomfortable. Listen to our subconscious thought. It might be telling us something. It might even save us from being hurt. I'm not saying we should now deposit negative thoughts in our mind all the time. But when we feel the negative energy and as our subconscious mind tries to tell us something, listen to it. Become more aware of the happenings around us and we might be able to protect ourselves from getting hurt too much.