Holding Back

Adriene said this in her blog, "We would be doing our children an injustice if we held them back from all the beauty the world has to offer."



I thought that is very nicely said but how do we tell this to our overly protective parent? How do we tell this to parents who have been making our business their business since we're born but now our business is not supposed to be their business anymore? They can guide us, advice us, but not make the decision's for us anymore. I knew of a friend whose mother wants to follow her in one of our girls outing. Can you imagine that? Both her parents are working and staying in KL. The mother should be well aware that what she wanted to do is totally out of the norm. I've not been keeping in touch with her after she declined several of my invitation to go out. Well, I know the reason and I can't ask her to disobey her parents.



Though deep down I've been thinking that we need to break away from that bond while we can or we'll never be able to. Speak up what's in our mind; make the point that this is how things will go. There will be parents who can accept it, there will be those will not and will keep fighting all the way. But you know you can have a piece of yourself when you want to. If they can't accept that, too bad. Probably one day, these parents will realize that you're only doing things that will make you happy. I don't know of any parents who don't want their children to be happy. I wonder what will these children think when they're 40, 50 or on their deathbed and realize all this while they've only been doing what their parent wants, what other people wants and never what they want.



I face the same predicaments too though to a lesser degree than my friend. And to think I'm going to be 30 in a few months time. Some people advised that parents will be parents no matter if you're 30, 40, even if you have dozens of grandchildren in tow. But it gets tiring to remind them you've been independent ever since you're 13 years old and staying in a boarding school, later staying in hostels during your university life, now you're earning your own keep, or even managing million dollars or multi-million dollar project, so just have faith you'll be doing the right thing with your life.



How much of the parents concern are real concern and not envy anyway? "I worked last time too but not as busy as you are or I always stay at home during holidays and spend time with my family. So do as I do!" Or, "Don't do as I do. Do as I say!" There are mothers who like to refresh your mind ever so often on how they spent nine miserable months carrying you around and the sacrifices they made to raise you for how many years. That is like a badge of honor giving them the privilege to meddle with your life all they want. If parents want to complain about all this, don't have children in the first place.



Sometimes people forget that parents are human too. At the worst end are lowlier than animal being who raped their own flesh and blood. Second in place would be mothers who turn a blind eye knowing the husband is raping their own children. These are parents at the worst end as a human being. There are parents at the opposite end (almost angelic), and there are also parents who are in between these two extremes. As a parent, where do you stand? As children, where do you think your parents stand?