Judgmental

judg·men·tal adj. Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones.

I was switching channel Saturday night (that was last night) and finally decided to watch Zoom In with Siti. She sang one song titled Dealova. The lyrics is about the desire to be with someone he/she loves. Such a sad love song. I can feel the heart ache, the yearning and pleading. You can listen to it here. No, I'm not in the same situation. I just have a very high empathy level.

I don't think anyone in love wants to be in her situation. I do not want to comment on her love life. She is entitled to her privacy. I just can't understand the media frenzy on her love story. And worse than the media are all those malicious email about her relationship with the mysterious man. Even the fact that she is a bit chubbier now becomes a problem to some people. Some people has the talent for creating stories and some people can convinced themselve that what they believe is true even if it is not based on facts at all.

How judgmental are you? Without facts? With little facts? With a lot more facts? It is easy to become judgmental based on our values and understanding of morality. But our judgment may be biased or in err altogether. When you're being judgmental about someone, have you ever think about the person at the receiving end? Probably not until you're sitting at the other end. The receiving end.

I probably have been judgmental in the past too. But I never write maliciuos email about anybody. And I have been at the receiving end too. It hurts a little. Especially if it happens within a close circle. Close friends, colleagues in the same unit or department. But you really can't stop people. I celebrated my one year anniversary with my organization last week. I joined the organization with one guy. A married guy.

We're quite close, due to the fact that we came on board on the same day and have the same post. I knew the limitation of my friendship with him. He knew it too. I have even pick him up from his place a few times. Somewhere more accessible and near to his place to be exact. His wife sent him to our meeting place and waited until I reached the place. She knew I'm his colleague and single and has no problem with it.

One day a colleague conveyed to me that someone in my department has been asking around about our relationship. She remarked that 'the guy' can afford a second wife. I was ready to explode when I heard that. Excuse me!!! How about I take your husband instead? I could understand if this comes from another department. But we're in the same department where we joke around, fight and argue in the presence of everybody. How can anybody be mistaken?

People can be judgmental on the way you handle a certain situation too. You have done the best you can under the circumstances that only you understand, when suddenly someone come and criticize your decision. It is tiring sometimes. I wanna sigh and I want to use one line of the lyrics in the song sang by Siti last night... "oh kerana hati telah letih".