It has been 26 days I'm in confinement now. I'm happy to say I'm recovering Alhamdulillah. Emotionally, there were still time when I felt down. Kadang2, ada kata2 atau situasi yang buat hati terasa sedih. Hubby said, things happen for a reason and ada hikmahnya. Bila tiba2 datang sedih, susah juga nak membayangkan hikmahnya ketika itu. Anyway, like I said before... I would accept this loss just the same way I accepted hubby in my life, as destined by Him. However, I have 'wants' now. I wanted to eat something, I wanted to go out, I wanted to go shopping... I believe that is a sign that I'm recovering well. I'm not sure what's going on inside the body though. I hope it's recovering too. No more milk factory pain or sharp pain at uterus area. 18 days to go before end of confinement and I'm still wearing socks, wear sweater when it's cold, rub oil or lotion on my body and bertungku. Otherwise, I do feel the chills sometimes.
During early pregnancy, we went to Pangkor and Medan. I didn't even blog anything about those trips. I only managed to sort Pangkor photo and upload to my FB. The reason being, whenever I looked at the photos from our trip, the memory of being nauseous and dizzy feels very clear to me. Otherwise, I would be the first to compile family photos and can't wait to publish them using Photobook. Even the t-shirts and blouses I wore during those trips, I have hesitations of wearing them. They kinda remind me of the time I was nauseous and dizzy. Weird... some would say that it is just psychology. I have forced myself to wear the t-shirts and blouses... managed to wear some. Probably have to wait awhile longer to wear all... not very suitable for confinement uses. I still haven't look at the photos. I probably would one of these days.
As for food, I still remember masak lemak telur rebus I ate in one of the nasi padang restaurant. I threw up all of it later. Sigh! Probably, would take some time before I can eat another masak lemak telur rebus, and nasi padang for that matter. Padahal masa tu, dalam banyak2 menu, itu lah yang rasa macam boleh terbuka selera. As for chicken, dulu tak nak tengok langsung... now, ada juga terliur tengok gambar. Tapi masih belum cuba makan. Since I'm still under confinement, let it be for now. This weekend, I'll be driving to class insyaAllah. Depending on my mood, if I'm bored at home, probably tomorrow I'll drive to Giant for some groceries. It is not urgent since we have some stock from previous grocery shopping with hubby. Just to get some air and de-stress :)
Sunflower gives the connotation of cheerfulness, bright, jolly, merry... you get the idea! However, if any content in this blog didn't fit the cheerfulness implied by its name, look at it this way... I'm putting down all the wretchedness, gloom, melancholy feeling in here so I can continue living up to the expectation of making the association to the sunflower.
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